True story here guys. I grew up in south georgia and used to do a lot of hogging. I usually killed about 3 or 4 hogs per year. Made some really good bbq down there too. 17 years ago I moved from from georgia to tennessee and was trying to make some new friends. I met some guys out in town and they asked me if I wanted to go hogging with them. I said I didn't think there were any hogs in tennessee and the assured me there was plenty around here. I was a little skeptical about hunting with 5 other guys I had just met, but I told them I would go.

I went home and got my .357, camo, and other hunting supplies and went out to meet them. When I showed up they were all dressed up and looked like they were heading out for a night on the town. I said surely you all aren't going hunting looking like that. They said they weren't going hunting, they were going hogging. We all looked a little confused, and then one of them started laughing and said that hogging was where you go out to a bar and pick up the fattest chick you can find and take her home for some fun. Whoever gets the biggest one wins.

I thought it over for a little while and figured since I was new in town and could use some fun that I would go with them. We got to the bar and I saw the biggest woman I had ever seen. 750-800 lbs minimum. I started talking to her and found out she was just passing through town on her way back home to Texas. I figured I would never see her again, so I took her back home for a night of fun. One thing led to another, and well, Bill, I am your father....

 

Wow, that was by far the best one yet.
I did not even know it was a your mom joke tell the last paragraph!

 

You might think so, but actually, my momma's too fat for a Duramax...

 

Besides, who are you to point fingers? To get a date, youir momma had to buy a PSD just so she could get to meet the tow truck driver!

 

This is one you may need Mapquest for, but I remember when Josh's momma came out west to visit me. She was on Interstate 5 and needed to take HWY 299 to get to my house. She got lost and stopped at a station to ask for directions. She asked, "excuse me ( she's very polite), how do I get to 299?"
The attendant took one look and said, "Maybe an f'n diet!"

 

Man, it is getting deep in here! I thought the Duramax joke was getting me bannned and it only went downhill from there! haha I am speechless, gonna have to think about my next move. I was not expecting such good comebacks!

 

I expected it to take everyone else about 3/4 of the way through to figure out where it was leading, but I thought for sure you would get it as soon as I said "17 years ago"

Funny, but she had that same thing happen to her looking for HWY 627 a while back too lol.

Sand Man(sorry, don't know your name) asked for 200 pages by Christmas, but he didn't say what it had to be about

 

I'm afraid to mention my name after such trash-talk. I half-expect to see a couple PSD F250's with out-of-state plates and fat chicks in my driveway wanting to whup me...

 

If they were in your driveway they wouldn't have a fat chick in their truck. They would be waiting for your mom to finish getting ready

 

My mom? Why 2001400EX's momma is so fat when she steps on the scales, it says, "...to be continued..."

 

But it wasn't her weight that brought our relationship down, it was our age difference. I mean, she's so old that when she was in school, there was no history class!
She's so old that the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment...
She's so old she owes Jesus 3 bucks...
She's so old she called the cops when David and Goliath started to fight...
She's so old her birth certificate says "expired" on it...

 

Haha, let's get off momma's cause I just got off yours!!!!

but anyways, anyone can do a google search for a momma joke. some original material fellas!

 

I should have gotten it but I did not.


I cant really see this thread going 4 more pages with out getting shut down at the rate we are going.

 

I should have gotten it sooner but I did not.


I cant really see this thread going 4 more pages with out getting shut down at the rate we are going.

 

I hate it when I am halfway through a double post before I realize it's a double post.

Morning.