She dated her last boyfriend for five years. They JUST ended when I met her. They were engaged twice. I translate in my head what she tells me about him. From what I gather, he was another good ole' boy. He went into the Army. He didn't "give her enough attention" and only wanted "sex". To be honest with you, she's a HUGE tease. He sounds like just another good ole' boy like me who tried his hardest to be good to her and make it work. This chick blows up 'cause I won't spend the entire night on the phone with her. I can't imagine what she would be like if I was in the Army and away all the time.

She's just nuts, Tim. It's a shame; I would have busted my **** to give her a good life.

Thanks for your kind words, my friend!

 

Man, your best bet IMHO is to get out fast. Why do you think you deserve to be treated so poorly? How can you love someone when it is clear from what I read you don't love yourself. See, the love a person has for another is the overflow of love for ones own self. I been married for 12 years to the same woman. We respect each other, we love each other, we both want the best for each other, we work as a team. We both contribute to our relationship in all ways. We don't always see things the same way but we always work it out so we both win. Most of all she is my very best friend.
If you really think there is something to work out then you both need to seek out professional help.
I wish you the best.
Craig

 

I'm glad to hear that you finally actually broke it off.

I was gonna say, don't be like my brother. He's 26, started dating this girl that was 18, fresh out of high school. He had to move a couple hours away for a job but they stayed in regular contact and he came in every weekend to see her. They were together almost a year and then she broke things off, just saying that she never got to see him. Not 1 WEEK after she dumped him, she had changed her status on facebook and said she was dating some other guy that was closer to her age and living closer to her, and within a month or two had moved in with the guy's family (he still lives at home, apparently).

So, my brother was all depressed and heartbroken, and the whole situation is screwed up for a number of reasons.

Reason #1: She has been giving him the runaround for MONTHS, I think because she knows that she can and he misses her enough that he'll do whatever she wants. She tells him she wants to be with him, then says she doesn't, blah blah, it's ridiculous although I think he's finally starting to wise up.

Reason #2: He lamented to me at one point about losing her because she was "young and beautiful," and my other brother told me how he'd complained he'd "never find someone that young again" or something similar. WTF? Missing someone because they were "young and beautiful" is not something that a relationship should be based on. He claims he loved her, I think he loved her like someone might love an expensive car. I think he saw her as a status symbol more than anything else.

Anyway, don't be like that, and don't keep trying to go back. I'm not saying you're like my brother, but it doesn't take long for friends, family, and everyone else that has tried to help you out to turn their backs on you when you keep coming back crying and complaining about the same thing over and over.

 

Oh, and by the way, kiddo, there's nothing wrong with being alone.

Pete

 

You know, as strange as it sounds, I needed to hear that. It reminded me how content I was to be single. I read a lot when I was single. Books have no comparison to a good woman's loving, but books are far more attractive than an abusive woman. She was not a good woman.

 

13 years of 'wedded bliss', to someone who was controlling, vindictive, and in the end downright nasty, and 10 years of single-ness was like a breath of fresh air. The ability to come and go as I pleased (solo backpacking in Arkansas, the Wind River Range in Wyoming, etc.), fishing, reading, also allowed me the time to find someone with common interests, values, and goals. The first wife made me give up the sprint car. This one is a gearhead. The first wife thought fishing was boring. This one watches fishing forecasts.
The first wife wouldn't go to the mailbox without makeup. This one asked me to teach her to drive the tractor.

They're out there buddy, just remember to be good to yourself.

Pete

 

Be yourself if she dont like it tell her to hit the road there are alot of women that are looking for a guy like you

 

I have been married 23 years to an amazing man and have also been witness to many relationships that are/were quite convoluted.

Case in point, a very close family member (female) was the dominant one in the relationship. Husband was a wimp and allowed (notice I said ALLOWED?) her to handle everything. He just sat back and did nothing because he knew she would handle it all. Unfortunately he gave up his right to his manhood by doing so. They are divorcing now after 20 years of marriage.

I say, take the bull by the horns! Personally, I would LOVE to be boss, but I really prefer my man to be in charge Step up Dude! She may actually LIKE it!

 

Bill, find a good match for you. Some people need to dominate, some need to be dominated and some prefer equality.

In my case, I'm a retired career sailor. My wife handled / handles the finances, that's a biggy. She learned to be independant and I learned not to step on her independant toes. She had no choice, I was gone all the time and had to make all of the decisions and handles all of the crisis' alone. I wan't even home for the birth of oldest daughter. I wasn't home when we closed on this house and moved in. I totally missed the party.

Our house is 50/50 split. We share all chores in doors and out. We have common interests as well as respect, loyalty, trust and all that blah, blah Dr. Phil junk.

No relationship is maintenance free Bill. You just don't add oil and walk away. Be yourself, love yourself and stand up for yourself. Don't be a controlling jerk and giver her room to breath.

Tim

 

Not to mention being single is way cheaper as well... more money for truck parts. You gotta keep thinking of the positives lol.

 

I actually up and skipped town...all while growing up i didn't care for the area, the dealership was closing down, so i took the opportunity to try driving truck, I learned to play the guitar, built my capri, and rediscovered the amazing relationship that I had with a girl that i had met years before.

if you dont like something, change it. its your life to live, not your life to die...

 

Bill I missed all this thread till now, and I can say from personal experience, you did the right thing.

I KNOW that woman, and have dated her before. What happens is she will call, she will try to play with your head more, she will use her body to tempt ya (guys like me fall for it!), and in the end if you fall for any of that crap, youll get hurt twice as bad.

Im also glad to see you didnt do what alot of us have done, marry the person, then get a divorce down the road. (ok so im not divorced but still!)

Your such a cool dude, I always enjoy reading what you have to say in the 87-96 forums, and I wish ya didnt have to go through this man. Lemme tell ya from personal experience, it makes you stronger.

 

Thanks a lot Sheldon. You're one of the reasons I love FTE so much. I always look forward to your replies too!

Hey, we're all men here (almost, heh) we all fall for a woman and get heart broke at some point, right? It's a fact of life. It sucks though. Hurts.


Thanks a lot to everyone else too. <3

 

Glad to be "one of the guys"....although I dont fall for women,
definitely no stranger to heartache and being played.......
both sides suck at times

 

I don't think you can ever be in a successful relationship until you are completely comfortable being alone and in your own skin. If you are looking for something outside yourself to complete you, that will be a codependent relationship.

I know that route. I'm on my second marriage. After the first (complete disaster), I dated a lot and got to the point where I WAS really comfortable just being by myself. I learned a lot about myself and actually enjoyed my own company. It was then that I met my second wife, and things couldn't have gone smoother. We enjoy each other for who we are, not who we want the other person to be.