If she doesn't want to play ball,find one who will. I have been divorced for 10 years from a woman with an attitude just like your g/f. I would rather pay child support on 3 kids,make some sacrifices in my life,and be HAPPY rather than come home at night wondering what I had screwed up when I wasn't even home to screw it up. I tried for 6 months to work it out,finally one day I decided I had had enough,got off work,rented an apartment,didn't say a word,started packing my essential stuff,was gone within an hour. All the time she was following me around asking me what I was doing,telling me I can't move out,etc,etc. Then she started begging for me to stay. I didn't get mad,just said "I gave you six months to work it out,you wouldn't so this is best for both of us because you are about to drive me to do something I will regret later. Tell the kids I love them and I will be in touch about temporary visitation rights and child support payments." Was hard for me to do this knowing my kids would be hurt,but that was 10 years ago,and looking back it was better for us to be apart and get along good then being together and fighting constantly in front of the kids.

 

i hear a whipp in the back ground.... lol... better get off line to go do the dishes... i will talk to you all as soon as im done with the dishes... maybe tonight she will let me work on the truck...

seriously... i would talk to her about this first... explain that its not fair that she treats you like a dog... but i also wouldnt stay around for very long if she doesnt change a little bit, other wise, its going to put you pretty low on the relationship food chain... your not gonna be the man... you wont be the women... metaphorically speaking, your gonna be the dog.. that every one beats on... yet you still come back wanting more...

for the sake of your pride... talk to her first... if that doesnt work out... try the moving out, but not breaking up thing... and if all else fails... give your notice at work... and grab your stuff... and RUN!!!

 

I was going to say just read your original post a few times and you'll get your answer, since it's obvious how much this relationship is hurting you.

People don't change. If you want somebody to love you for who you are, then you need to find somebody that loves you for who you are. Say you told her you were going to leave her unless things changed. She gets upset, doesn't want to lose you, and things get better for a while. You know, in time, things are going to go back to the way they were.

Love is a hard road, and being stuck in a relationship without mutual respect is doomed. Good luck. It might be painful at first, but you'll get back your self respect and in the end find somebody that loves you for who you are.

 

A good woman will make sure the man's needs are taken care of, before she asks anything for herself. And a good man will provide for his family without being asked. If you need to negotiate the terms of your weekend visits then you're not in a healthy relationship.




There's no shortage of stupid men. I'd say at least 1/3 of the adult population are dysfunctional losers who can't hold down a job, make their marriages work, pay their bills on time, raise normal children, etc.

But for the rest of us who are normal, it is natural for the man to be the head of the household, and provide for his family. And it is natural for a woman to seek out a man with these qualities, and put her confidence in him.


Why throw good money after bad. What he should do is take a sheet of paper, and write on there "this is my house and I make the rules" and stick it to the fridge where he can see it every morning. Until you find a nice girl that treats you the way you deserve to be treated.

 

I know in my heart you all are right. I can't bring myself to decapitate the relationship just yet, however.

I'm getting to the point my old temper is flaring up. When that happens, I go somewhat numb to all else. This might be useful to me. I do love this woman, it hurts to think of losing her. But I am going to fight for my respect. I look at it this way; with the way this relationship is going, it's lose / lose for me. Therefor I will attempt to gain my much deserved respect. If this sinks the relationship then I'm probably better off alone. If I win my repsect I won't be eating crap every single day.

She just keeps pushing me and pushing me and pushing me. She's really starting to make me angry. I'm starting to think I'd feel better if I just ended this thing. Kind of like pulling a bad tooth, you know. It hurts more than anything when it's in your head, but you're scared to death of yanking that sucker out of there because you think it's going to hurt even worse.

I'll say it again, I know you all are right. I just can't bring myself to split just yet. Like I said, when things are good.. they're great. I just want to know without a doubt that she is a waste of time. If there is a chance of making this thing work I want to make it work.


I'm not taking any more crap however. I've had more than a belly full. She has seen nothing but the nice, sweet, loving, caring, forgiving, patient Bill.. She has a surprise waiting for her.

 

Don't go that route, Bill......I think it'll do nothing but make you more bitter when what looks to me to be the inevitable happens.

Get out before you get any madder....that "I go somewhat numb to all else" is a troubling statement.

 

Make the break...................Walk away.........If she values you, she will change her tune after you assert your independence from her control.............If not, all the better.

 

Wow! I just read this thread. The woman in question is not going to change no matter what you do because she cares more about control than she cares about love. Screw her man, bail now!

 

I went through the same thing a few years ago. You have to get out now. You'll feel so much better when it's all said and done. If she's making you this angry (and you have 100% a good right to be angry with her), then it's time to leave. Way too many fish in the see for you to have to take this. My X and I had been together for 3 years and had been on and off for about 2 years before that, so it was hard to leave when she started doing the exact same thing to me but I knew what I had to do. We were in the middle of dinner with her parent when she just started nagging on me non stop for an hour. I excused myself from the table, grabbed my coat, got in my truck, smoked the tires on the street leaving her driveway, hit about 80 MPH going down her back road, Lynyrd Skynyrd as loud as the radio would go, and never looked back. It was the most free I had ever felt in my life. Two years later and it was still the best decision I ever could have made. I havn't met anyone new and I just don't care. Go for it man. You'll be a lot happier. Good luck.

 

I'm going to see her tonight. I'll report back..

I sure do love you guys (and gals). Thanks for all the support. I can't thank you all enough. Really

 

The more you stay around, the harder she will push. If she knows that you "cant" let go of her.......even just yet......she has you where she wants you and will play whatever card she has to to keep you there.
To address you temper statements. If she causes you to do something you will regret later due to anger...........she won.

 

I know man. I know everything you all are saying is true. However you have to understand I'm doing a complete 180. I haven't called her today; she just called me. I was polite like normal but got off the phone quickly. I'm supposed to see her tonight. I plan on treating her differently. If she throws that crap in my face that I'm acting bored with her or I'm actling like I don't care anymore.. well, I'll take care of it. She's either going to straighten up, stop acting like a child and treating me like dirt, or I'm giving to give it right back to her. Either way she pushed me to this. I've had enough.

 

You know, I hate it has to be this way. I've always just wanted a woman to love and love me back. Isn't that just rediculously simple? I'm just a country boy and I treat my family right.

 

I feel for you, man. If it isn't going to happen with this one, it WILL happen with someone else. Don't beat yourself up over it. It's not your fault. It's just life. A few years from now you'll look back on this and not be able to remember why you got so upset.

 

I agree with the others that have given you great advice to hit the road. Why LET someone else make you feel miserable?? Good luck!!

YouTube - Paul Simon - 50 ways to leave your lover