what kind of cockamaimybullscheidt is this???

and you think you men are not like children....HA!

relationships are a two way street, you both have to give, you both have to love, you both have to understand, you both have to care, and you both have to forgive...IF it is gonna work......

one way relationships do nothing more than wear a person down and leaves one or both feeling empty and drained.....

I dont think it is a matter of "taking control"...you should be working on working it out.....make a sheet for each of you.....title it "stay together or not" then make two headers "pros" and "cons".....give one to her and ask her to fill it out, tell her you are going home and you will see her in a couple of days....WAIT A COUPLE OF DAYS...DONT CALL HER OR GO BY TO SEE HER.....if she calls BE POLITE.....no frilly talk...and then excuse yourself from the conversation.....LET HER KNOW YOU MEAN BUSINESS and you WANT TO WORK THINGS OUT, but you cannot figure out any other way....

Do this like on a Wednesday and let her know you want to be able to exchange and discuss your lists with each other over the weekend....BE HONEST but not hurtful....if you dont like something put it on the paper, but try to come up with the good things in the relationship, too.....

you have already mentioned that there are good things.....LIST THEM.....

dont make it sound like YOU YOU YOU YOU......if you dont like the way she nags at you, tell her you dont like the way you guys snap over little things....make this a WE project, because that is what you are trying to do.....you are trying to save WE....

I hope this helps a little bit......and guys, no hard feelings?

I have so much more, but I dont think you gentlemen are ready for it, yet

{{{{{hugs}}}}}

 

I have always been told there are very few things worth fighting over. Sounds to me like you two need to have a long, patient, serious talk without getting mad.

I believe the biggest reason why I have a successful marriage is because I don't stand BEHIND my wife and she doesn't stand BEHIND me. We stand side by side and respect each others opinion when it comes time for a decision.

 

I like the idea of letting her have it her way for just 3 days, thats it. If she goes totally bizzark GTFO and GTFO NOW! She should notice that you are rolling over so easy and should question you about it, but if she doesn't run. Like Usain Bolt run.

 

IMO it's time to go, Bill....life's too short. There's somebody out there that's gonna accept you the way you are...don't keep her waiting!

 

Well, she was giving me more hell tonight. She wanted me to pick her up to spend the night. I told her she could spend the night and go home with her mom the next day when we see her mom. No, she said, she wanted to be home by 3 - for reasons she would not tell me. I told her, "baby, that's kind of unfair to me if you just want to be home to shower, you can shower here. to run you home for that is another 1/4 tank of fuel for me and wear and tear on the truck." when she wouldn't bend or even tell me why, and then basically said I didn't deserve to know, I finally said "fine. I'm going to bed baby, I'll call you tomorrow." she then hung up on me after an abrupt "bye."

I deserve to know why I should run her home early. I'm out of work. My savings are dropping. Fuel is not cheap. I'm going broke. She knows this.

So tonight was the first step towards really putting my foot down. I guess we'll see how it goes. I'm so angry I can't even see straight. She was giving me trouble again tonight, playing head games with me. At first she was saying that we don't need to see each other so often, that I am going to get bored with her, etc etc... And then she asked me to come pick her up. First off I should have said no to begin with but I'm missing her like crazy.. I was willing to pick her up.

Because of her acting like I'm crap, she gets to sleep in a cold house tonight infested with **** roaches and people she doesn't like. She could have slept next to me in a warm, clean home stocked with food - she doesn't even have food at home. why would she treat her boyfriend like this when he loves and pampers her and sees to her every mother ******* need? haha..

 

BTW.. I love you guys. Thanks so much for the support.

Sigh. I'm going to have a real hard time getting to sleep tonight. Anybody have free long distance? lol..

 

she'll move on to the next gold mine after you are dried up

 

That's what it's looking like.

I'm about ready to take that shovel from her and reposition it.

 

Why? Because she sounds like a spoiled brat who is used to getting her way.

If the roles were reversed and you were treating her like she is treating you, it would be called abuse. You are in an abusive relationship and you need out. In my opinion, there is no happy ending here. Dump her and if she ever grows up, then maybe try again.

I ditched a girl like this about 20 years ago. We recently reconnected on FB and she is now divorced, jobless and still sounds like a PITA.

As Jake said so perfectly.....GTFO!

 

Bill,

While I don't agree with some of generalizations made about women here, I do agree that you're better off without her. A healthy loving relationship is supposed to make you feel good, not miserable.

"she said, she wanted to be home by 3 - for reasons she would not tell me". . . "and then basically said I didn't deserve to know"

Based on these two statements, I'd say it's pretty obvious that she doesn't care much about you or your feelings. And you aren't going to change her, no matter what you do.

Break it off with her now, before your self esteem gets any lower.. In time, you'll be glad you did.

Good luck!

 

ok, after giving more information...I retract my previous advice and I say "GET OUT"


since we had so little to go on, I thought maybe things could be worked on, which they can...but that is a lot of work....and it sounds like it would be all one sided.....dont waste another penny or lose another moments sleep over her.....she isnt worthy of you!!!!


I hope you got some sleep last night....if not, hopefully today you will get some rest.....


{{{{{hugs}}}}}

 

Bill,

I know going into this post, that I'm not going to make the ladies here, happy.

With that said, here is a comment that my dear old Dad used to say:

"Young man, listen to me. Women are like buses. When you get off of one, and stand on the corner, another one will come by, soon.
Now, the best part is - they are all different. Some have narrow 'seats' and are built for speed. Some are built with a little bit wider seat, for a more comfortable ride. And lastly, some are built with big, wide, soft, comfortable seats, built for the long haul. You need to decide what kind of 'bus' you want to ride, and wait for it to come along.
If that 'bus' needs too much maintenance, get off of it, and find another ride."


Life is too short to have an adversarial relationship.
Have a 'sit down' with this young lady and discuss your relationship.

IF she wants to have a 'one sided' relationship, such as "You better do as I say", sort of thing, it is time to move on.

As was said earlier, a good relationship is supposed to make you feel 'good', not angry.

Be thankful that you are finding this out BEFORE you marry this girl.

 

Run Forest, run!

 

x2. If she is like this, you may regain your respect for now, but she will begin the same old thing all over again. Don't ever convince yourself that you cant be without her, she is not a necessary part of living. If something in life makes you unhappy, it is up to you to change it.

Also remember: Insanity is doing the same thing over, and over, and expecting different results.

</filler>

 

I could tell you some stories about my 34 year old step-son and the stuff he puts up with his girlfriend. He is really in a dead end relationship as she is separated from her husband and shows no signs of getting a divorce. She also likes to play the "victim" and has lied about him hitting her. Just a few weeks ago, she ran off in the middle of the night, taking tools and stuff he needs to work with and his mom spent all day one Sunday getting this stuff back. But....he was back with her the next day.

Why? He doesn't like being alone and he is thinking with the wrong head if you know what I mean.

Love...true love....is a two way street. It takes two to make the relationship work and from what you say....she's not willing.

Take a break from her and if she's willing to respect you for who you are, she will come back. Respect goes both ways and you must like each other for who you are.

Remember...time heals all wounds...