hey, Lisa, you still got that crazy neighbor lady? She seems like she'd be a good match for Edmo.

 

Hell Ed,just go rent one.Lots cheaper to rent than to own

 

THIS FROM MR. HELPER WHO TALKS/TEXT/PHONES HAYLEE 1500 TIMES A DAY..........


oooh, I don't know about that...

 

No. Only like 100 a day. And you're right. I wouldn't want haylee to have a crazy new mama.

And I'm just trying to help out, Edmo. You said you were feelin lonely and Lisa said she had no friends that you could hook up with. I reminded her of one.

 

Sorry to hear about that man. That is the part of dating that sucks, are the crazies and dishonest people.

I "dated" a married man once. Of course I didn't know, but found out eventually. That was a huge mistake. I got the wife's phone number and called her and told her everything.

Is this what happens when I let my guard down? It won't happen again.

Ahah...yes! Her face looks like an elephant's knee, she's kinda like crack-wh*re in granny form. I bet she could take her teeth out and do tricks. Perfect.

Depends...how much are treatments for various STDs? Don't forget to wear protective clothing....

 

LMAO. Lisa, where do you come up with this stuff.. you just made me laugh out loud.

 

BTW Edmo you're a day late and a dollar short I'm old news for now.

 

The recesses of a demented mind. I drove her around for an entire day last winter, she suckered me into doing favors for her. She kept telling me that people tell her she looks young for her age. I figured..ok...maybe she's like 75. And then she pipes up "I'm only 52". And I'm thinking GOOD GOD what types of drugs did you do?

Hows it goin Mark? Get your shopping done?

 

Yeah unfortunately married is correct. Ask me why some girls do what they do and i'll have no answer for you.

Uh oh, what stories have you heard Ed...?

 

I take it things aren't peachy at home, ed. sorry to hear that man.

 

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...we should have seen this coming. Talk about throwing a 'grinch' into the season.

Despite this attempt at 'souring the season', please continue to have a Merry Christmas.

UB



"The recent announcement that Donner and Blitzen have elected to take the early reindeer retirement package has triggered a good deal of concern about whether they will be replaced, and about other restructuring decisions at the North Pole.

"Streamlining was appropriate in view of the reality that the North Pole no longer dominates the season's gift distribution business. Home shopping channels and mail order catalogues have diminished Santa's market share and he could not sit idly by and permit further erosion of
the profit picture.

"The reindeer downsizing was made possible through the purchase of a late model Japanese sled for the CEO's annual trip. Improved productivity from Dasher and Dancer, who summered at the Harvard Business School, is anticipated and should take up the slack with no discernible loss of service. Reduction in reindeer will also lessen airborne environmental emissions for which the North Pole has been cited and received unfavorable press.

"I am pleased to inform you and yours that Rudolph's role will not be disturbed. Tradition still counts for something at the North Pole. Management denies, in the strongest possible language, the earlier leak that Rudolph's nose got that way not from the cold, but from substance abuse. Calling Rudolph "a lush who was into the sauce and never did pull his share of the load" was an unfortunate comment, made by one of Santa's helpers and taken out of context at a time of year when he is known to be under executive stress.

"As a further restructuring, today's global challenges require the North Pole to continue to look for better, more competitive steps. Effective immediately, the following economy measures are to take place in the

"Twelve Days of Christmas" subsidiary:

"The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree never turned out to be the cash crop forecasted. It will be replaced by a plastic hanging plant, providing considerable savings in maintenance.

"The two turtle doves represent a redundancy that is simply not cost effective. In addition, their romance during working hours could not be condoned. The positions are therefore eliminated.

"[The three French hens will remain intact. After all, everyone loves the French.]

"The four calling birds were replaced by an automated voice mail system, with a call waiting option. An analysis is underway to determine who the birds have been calling, how often and how long they talked.

"The five golden rings have been put on hold by the Board of Directors. Maintaining a portfolio based on one commodity could have negative implications for institutional investors. Diversification into other
precious metals as well as a mix of T-Bills and high technology stocks appear to be in order.

"The six geese-a-laying constitutes a luxury which can no longer be afforded. It has long been felt that the production rate of one egg per goose per day is an example of the decline in productivity. Three geese
will be let go, and an upgrading in the selection procedure by personnel will assure management that from now on every goose it gets will be a good one.

"The seven swans-a-swimming is obviously a number chosen in better times. The function is primarily decorative. Mechanical swans are on order. The
current swans will be retrained to learn some new strokes and therefore enhance their outplacement.

"As you know, the eight maids-a-milking concept has been under heavy scrutiny by the EEOC. A male/female balance in the workforce is being sought. The more militant maids consider this a dead-end job with no
upward mobility. Automation of the process may permit the maids to try a-mending, a-mentoring or a-mulching.

"Nine ladies dancing has always been an odd number. This function will be phased out as these individuals grow older and can no longer do the steps.

"Ten Lords-a-leaping is overkill. The high cost of Lords plus the expense of international air travel prompted the Compensation Committee to suggest replacing this group with ten out-of-work congressmen. While
leaping ability may be somewhat sacrificed, the savings are significant because we expect an oversupply of unemployed congressmen next year.

"Eleven pipers piping and twelve drummers drumming is a simple case of the band getting too big. A substitution with a string quartet, a cutback on new music and no uniforms will produce savings which will
drop right down to the bottom line.

"We can expect a substantial reduction in assorted people, fowl, animals and other expenses. Though incomplete, studies indicate that stretching deliveries over twelve days is inefficient. If we can drop ship in one day, service levels will be improved.

"Regarding the lawsuit filed by the attorney's association seeking expansion to include the legal profession ("thirteen lawyers-a-suing") action is pending.

"Lastly, it is not beyond consideration that deeper cuts may be necessary in the future to stay competitive. Should that happen, the Board will request management to scrutinize the Snow White Division to see if seven
dwarfs is the right number."

 

Heya all, hope everyone had a good day today. I was busy as hell, trying to get a bunch of crap done around here.

Of course I didnt get much done, and the wife realized she was trying to push to hard (and even admitted that, wow!) so she took me out for supper tonight!

That was nice but can only mean thats gonna cost me alot more money then I realize.

 

How's it goin??

 

Good Morning All......

Merry Christmas to you and yours and a Happy and Heathly Holiday Season!