Understanding alien abduction
Fleet Owner
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 26,227
Likes: 4,152
From: Near Cal. Avenue
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton *****
and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused,
"Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?"
He answers, "You see,
it's like this, yesterday,
I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes,
and she came back with a tin of tobacco
and some rolling papers;
cause it's so much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own ...
so does she."
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton *****
and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused,
"Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?"
He answers, "You see,
it's like this, yesterday,
I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes,
and she came back with a tin of tobacco
and some rolling papers;
cause it's so much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own ...
so does she."
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Fleet Owner
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 26,227
Likes: 4,152
From: Near Cal. Avenue
Two aliens landed their ship
on a golf course
and watched a young man golfing.
First he hit it into the high grass,
mumbling and cursing he retrieved his ball.
Then he hit it into the sand bunker
shouting curse words
he retrieved the ball.
Next he hit a perfect hole in one,
the first alien says to the second,
“Uh-oh cover your ears
he’s going to be really mad now”!
on a golf course
and watched a young man golfing.
First he hit it into the high grass,
mumbling and cursing he retrieved his ball.
Then he hit it into the sand bunker
shouting curse words
he retrieved the ball.
Next he hit a perfect hole in one,
the first alien says to the second,
“Uh-oh cover your ears
he’s going to be really mad now”!
Fleet Owner
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 26,227
Likes: 4,152
From: Near Cal. Avenue
A Californian and an Texan were deer hunting in the brush of south Texas
when an illegal alien runs across a clearing.
The Texan takes careful aim, shoots and kills him.
"You can't do that!" cried the Californian.
"It's legal here in Texas" replies the Texan.
Later that night the Californian goes to town to buy some beer from Walmart.
He puts the beer on the roof of his truck,
and while he's making room behind the seat,
an illegal alien runs by, grabs the beer, and runs away.
The Californian draws his pistol, shoots, and kills him.
As he is retrieving his beer the police come and arrest him.
"But I thought it was legal to shoot illegal aliens here in Texas!" protests the Californian.
"Well, yeah," says the cop, "but you can't use bait."
when an illegal alien runs across a clearing.
The Texan takes careful aim, shoots and kills him.
"You can't do that!" cried the Californian.
"It's legal here in Texas" replies the Texan.
Later that night the Californian goes to town to buy some beer from Walmart.
He puts the beer on the roof of his truck,
and while he's making room behind the seat,
an illegal alien runs by, grabs the beer, and runs away.
The Californian draws his pistol, shoots, and kills him.
As he is retrieving his beer the police come and arrest him.
"But I thought it was legal to shoot illegal aliens here in Texas!" protests the Californian.
"Well, yeah," says the cop, "but you can't use bait."
Fleet Owner
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 26,227
Likes: 4,152
From: Near Cal. Avenue
A women accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.
After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.
He said, "If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die:
1. Each morning , fix him a healthy breakfast.
2. Be pleasant and make sure he is in a good mood.
3. For lunch, make him a nutritious meal.
4. For dinner, prepare him an especially nice meal.
5. Don't burden him with chores as he probably had a hard day.
6. Don't discuss your problems with him.
On the way home, the husband asked his wife
" well, what the doctor say to you ?".& she replied.
"You're going to die !".
After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.
He said, "If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die:
1. Each morning , fix him a healthy breakfast.
2. Be pleasant and make sure he is in a good mood.
3. For lunch, make him a nutritious meal.
4. For dinner, prepare him an especially nice meal.
5. Don't burden him with chores as he probably had a hard day.
6. Don't discuss your problems with him.
On the way home, the husband asked his wife
" well, what the doctor say to you ?".& she replied.
"You're going to die !".
Scope Wizard
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 6,530
Likes: 25
too funny .... my Grand daughter makes over a Grand per night and it's nice that she gets paid extended unemployment too. plus she is getting an SSI payment and has never filed Income tax..... and is waiting for the $1400.00 freebie ... they pay for her $4000.00 per month rent in the condo she lives in too and is no way to evict her ....we LMAO at the Aliens 