Understanding alien abduction
Fleet Owner
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 26,117
Likes: 4,148
From: Near Cal. Avenue
Ole and Sven, ignoring the -60 degree wind chill warnings
, froze to death while ice fishing in northern Minnesota and descend to Hell.
Coming to check on his new arrivals from up North,
Satan is surprised to find Ole and Sven enjoying themselves,
finally removing coats and hats that they've worn for decades."What is the meaning of this," Satan demands. "You two almost seem comfortable."
"Oh don't you know," answers Ole,
"this is the first time we've been warm in years."
*Okay* think Satan. *I'm gonna really turn up the heat and
see how these two like it*. "We'll see if you're still laughing in a minute."
Satan instructs a demon to crank up the BATTERIES & REAIIY pour the coals on and
proceeds to go check on his other chargers.
He returns a while later, and to his astonishment,
finds Ole and Sven stripped down to their boxers and
sweating a little, but still with huge smiles on their faces.
"What is the meaning of this!", he exclaims!
"Uff da", answers Sven. "It's gettin' a little warm down here,
but after decades of Minnesota cold,
we can finally feel our bones start to thaw.
We're warm for the first time in our lives, mister."
Feeling more than a little desperate,
Satan thinks of a new plan. "Alright" he retorts,
"you two were sent down here to suffer.
Maybe the best environment for that is one like your miserable home land!"
Satan then instructs his demons to make Hells batteries *freeze*.
Heaters are exchanged for supernatural A/Cs. powered by solar batteries
Liquid nitrogen tanks are plugged in - the works.
Satan leaves to go attend other business.
He returns again a short time later expecting to find Ole and Sven miserable from being in the bitter cold once again.
To his bewilderment, Ole and Sven
are redressed in there parkas and hats,
but are hoopin' and hollerin' like never before.
Defeated, Satan asks,
"What is it with you guys?
I make Hell hotter than ever and you guys enjoy it.
I make it colder than anything even you two have experienced and
you're still full of joy. What is going on?"
"Well," answers Ole,
"for the first time in our lives,
we were able feel warm, which felt pretty good.
But now, with hell froze over, that can only mean one thing!"
" Minnesota won a Championship !
, froze to death while ice fishing in northern Minnesota and descend to Hell.
Coming to check on his new arrivals from up North,
Satan is surprised to find Ole and Sven enjoying themselves,
finally removing coats and hats that they've worn for decades."What is the meaning of this," Satan demands. "You two almost seem comfortable."
"Oh don't you know," answers Ole,
"this is the first time we've been warm in years."
*Okay* think Satan. *I'm gonna really turn up the heat and
see how these two like it*. "We'll see if you're still laughing in a minute."
Satan instructs a demon to crank up the BATTERIES & REAIIY pour the coals on and
proceeds to go check on his other chargers.
He returns a while later, and to his astonishment,
finds Ole and Sven stripped down to their boxers and
sweating a little, but still with huge smiles on their faces.
"What is the meaning of this!", he exclaims!
"Uff da", answers Sven. "It's gettin' a little warm down here,
but after decades of Minnesota cold,
we can finally feel our bones start to thaw.
We're warm for the first time in our lives, mister."
Feeling more than a little desperate,
Satan thinks of a new plan. "Alright" he retorts,
"you two were sent down here to suffer.
Maybe the best environment for that is one like your miserable home land!"
Satan then instructs his demons to make Hells batteries *freeze*.
Heaters are exchanged for supernatural A/Cs. powered by solar batteries
Liquid nitrogen tanks are plugged in - the works.
Satan leaves to go attend other business.
He returns again a short time later expecting to find Ole and Sven miserable from being in the bitter cold once again.
To his bewilderment, Ole and Sven
are redressed in there parkas and hats,
but are hoopin' and hollerin' like never before.
Defeated, Satan asks,
"What is it with you guys?
I make Hell hotter than ever and you guys enjoy it.
I make it colder than anything even you two have experienced and
you're still full of joy. What is going on?"
"Well," answers Ole,
"for the first time in our lives,
we were able feel warm, which felt pretty good.
But now, with hell froze over, that can only mean one thing!"
" Minnesota won a Championship !
Fleet Owner
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 26,117
Likes: 4,148
From: Near Cal. Avenue
God was fed up. In a crash of thunder he
yanked up to Heaven three influential humans:
The Donald, Joe Biden and Putin
"The human race is a complete disappointment," God boomed.
"You each have one week to prepare your followers for the end of the world."
With another crash of thunder they found themselves back on Earth.
The Donald immediately Tweeted
"I have good news and bad news,"
"The good news is that there is a god. The bad news is,
God's really mad and plans to end the world in a week."
In Russia, Putin announced to parliament, "Comrades,
I have bad news and worse news.
The bad news is that we were wrong:
there is a god after all. The worse news is God's mad and
is going to end the world in a week."
Meanwhile, Joe Biden called a meeting of his top Cabinet officials.
"I have good news and better news.
The good news is that God considers me
one of the three most influential men on Earth," he beamed.
"The better news is we don't have to fix the Illegal alien battery problems
yanked up to Heaven three influential humans:
The Donald, Joe Biden and Putin
"The human race is a complete disappointment," God boomed.
"You each have one week to prepare your followers for the end of the world."
With another crash of thunder they found themselves back on Earth.
The Donald immediately Tweeted
"I have good news and bad news,"
"The good news is that there is a god. The bad news is,
God's really mad and plans to end the world in a week."
In Russia, Putin announced to parliament, "Comrades,
I have bad news and worse news.
The bad news is that we were wrong:
there is a god after all. The worse news is God's mad and
is going to end the world in a week."
Meanwhile, Joe Biden called a meeting of his top Cabinet officials.
"I have good news and better news.
The good news is that God considers me
one of the three most influential men on Earth," he beamed.
"The better news is we don't have to fix the Illegal alien battery problems
Fleet Owner
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 26,117
Likes: 4,148
From: Near Cal. Avenue
Aliens have landed after blasting earth Cities to dust ! It’s the final Battle ! Earth’s international Army is Battle hardened ! The recruits from over 100 Countries are grouped together across 100 miles of front and have out flanked the aliens on a semi circle. Earth has outflanked the alien front lines! The Marine Gunny asks Watt’s Your Names Boys? In Unison they answer! Yes Sir !
Fleet Owner
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 26,117
Likes: 4,148
From: Near Cal. Avenue
Noticing today that most all Alien UFO's dive at extreme high speeds gives me the thought that "They" like to dive Deep. The Oceans are Deep and Crushable Tin Cans haven't got a Chance !
Fleet Owner
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 26,117
Likes: 4,148
From: Near Cal. Avenue
Lil Johnny comes home unexpectedly,
sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.
The woman's husband also comes home.
She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that Lil Johnny is in there already.
Lil Johnny says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Lil Johnny: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice."
Lil Johnny: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Lil Johnny: "My dad's outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Lil Johnny: "$250"
In the next few weeks, it happens again, Lil Johnny and
the lover are in the closet together.
Lil Johnny: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Lil Johnny: "I have a baseball glove."
The lover remembering the last time, asks Lil Johnny, "How much?"
Lil Johnny replies, "$750"
"Fine."
A few days later, the father says to Lil Johnny,
"Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch."
Lil Johnny, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Lil Johnny answers - "$1,000"
The father says, "That's *terrible* to overcharge your friends like that...
that is way more than those two things cost.
I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to the church and
the father makes Lil Johnny sit in the confession booth
as he closes the door and waits outside.
Lil Johnny says, "Dark in here, I have a used Smart phone with a low chargeBattery."
The priest says, "Don't start that crap again Lil Johnny !"
sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.
The woman's husband also comes home.
She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that Lil Johnny is in there already.
Lil Johnny says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Lil Johnny: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice."
Lil Johnny: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Lil Johnny: "My dad's outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Lil Johnny: "$250"
In the next few weeks, it happens again, Lil Johnny and
the lover are in the closet together.
Lil Johnny: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Lil Johnny: "I have a baseball glove."
The lover remembering the last time, asks Lil Johnny, "How much?"
Lil Johnny replies, "$750"
"Fine."
A few days later, the father says to Lil Johnny,
"Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch."
Lil Johnny, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Lil Johnny answers - "$1,000"
The father says, "That's *terrible* to overcharge your friends like that...
that is way more than those two things cost.
I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to the church and
the father makes Lil Johnny sit in the confession booth
as he closes the door and waits outside.
Lil Johnny says, "Dark in here, I have a used Smart phone with a low chargeBattery."
The priest says, "Don't start that crap again Lil Johnny !"
Fleet Owner
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 26,117
Likes: 4,148
From: Near Cal. Avenue
Why is working from home so Alien ! Is it the ease of doing it ? Or is it somewhere out there in planning; U know for something that can get done ?
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Fleet Owner
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 26,117
Likes: 4,148
From: Near Cal. Avenue
Ok I watched the films of Aliens flying around and splashing in the ocean an I got only one answer. B.S. Traveling instantly to 45,000 mph in the atmosphere would cause so many really bad situations. This is a Cluster **** of wanting more money to spend on B.S. Heck I have seen Lightening ***** in the back yard after a bad storm back and forth between High Tension Power lines Yep its called atmospheric disturbances not phony out of focus 1920's Videos. A better bunch of Videos of Photo doctoring would have real Aliens walking around with zap ray guns. Sort of like the old Godzilla Movies. At least they were only a lil out of focus ! This is moving across the power lines, but I have seen it jump 200' across power lines to another power line. Thas mostly likely high voltage & heat of current draw on the wires burning the insulation off !
Fleet Owner
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 26,117
Likes: 4,148
From: Near Cal. Avenue
Ole and Sven, ignoring the -60 degree wind chill warnings
, froze to death while ice fishing in northern Minnesota and descend to Hell.
Coming to check on his new arrivals from up North,
Satan is surprised to find Ole and Sven enjoying themselves,
finally removing coats and hats that they've worn for decades."What is the meaning of this," Satan demands. "You two almost seem comfortable."
"Oh don't you know," answers Ole,
"this is the first time we've been warm in years."
*Okay* think Satan. *I'm gonna really turn up the heat and
see how these two like it*. "We'll see if you're still laughing in a minute."
Satan instructs a demon to crank up the BATTERIES & REAIIY pour the coals on and
proceeds to go check on his other chargers.
He returns a while later, and to his astonishment,
finds Ole and Sven stripped down to their boxers and
sweating a little, but still with huge smiles on their faces.
"What is the meaning of this!", he exclaims!
"Uff da", answers Sven. "It's gettin' a little warm down here,
but after decades of Minnesota cold,
we can finally feel our bones start to thaw.
We're warm for the first time in our lives, mister."
Feeling more than a little desperate,
Satan thinks of a new plan. "Alright" he retorts,
"you two were sent down here to suffer.
Maybe the best environment for that is one like your miserable home land!"
Satan then instructs his demons to make Hells batteries *freeze*.
Heaters are exchanged for supernatural A/Cs. powered by solar batteries
Liquid nitrogen tanks are plugged in - the works.
Satan leaves to go attend other business.
He returns again a short time later expecting to find Ole and Sven miserable from being in the bitter cold once again.
To his bewilderment, Ole and Sven
are redressed in there parkas and hats,
but are hoopin' and hollerin' like never before.
Defeated, Satan asks,
"What is it with you guys?
I make Hell hotter than ever and you guys enjoy it.
I make it colder than anything even you two have experienced and
you're still full of joy. What is going on?"
"Well," answers Ole,
"for the first time in our lives,
we were able feel warm, which felt pretty good.
But now, with hell froze over, that can only mean one thing!"
" Minnesota won a Championship !
, froze to death while ice fishing in northern Minnesota and descend to Hell.
Coming to check on his new arrivals from up North,
Satan is surprised to find Ole and Sven enjoying themselves,
finally removing coats and hats that they've worn for decades."What is the meaning of this," Satan demands. "You two almost seem comfortable."
"Oh don't you know," answers Ole,
"this is the first time we've been warm in years."
*Okay* think Satan. *I'm gonna really turn up the heat and
see how these two like it*. "We'll see if you're still laughing in a minute."
Satan instructs a demon to crank up the BATTERIES & REAIIY pour the coals on and
proceeds to go check on his other chargers.
He returns a while later, and to his astonishment,
finds Ole and Sven stripped down to their boxers and
sweating a little, but still with huge smiles on their faces.
"What is the meaning of this!", he exclaims!
"Uff da", answers Sven. "It's gettin' a little warm down here,
but after decades of Minnesota cold,
we can finally feel our bones start to thaw.
We're warm for the first time in our lives, mister."
Feeling more than a little desperate,
Satan thinks of a new plan. "Alright" he retorts,
"you two were sent down here to suffer.
Maybe the best environment for that is one like your miserable home land!"
Satan then instructs his demons to make Hells batteries *freeze*.
Heaters are exchanged for supernatural A/Cs. powered by solar batteries
Liquid nitrogen tanks are plugged in - the works.
Satan leaves to go attend other business.
He returns again a short time later expecting to find Ole and Sven miserable from being in the bitter cold once again.
To his bewilderment, Ole and Sven
are redressed in there parkas and hats,
but are hoopin' and hollerin' like never before.
Defeated, Satan asks,
"What is it with you guys?
I make Hell hotter than ever and you guys enjoy it.
I make it colder than anything even you two have experienced and
you're still full of joy. What is going on?"
"Well," answers Ole,
"for the first time in our lives,
we were able feel warm, which felt pretty good.
But now, with hell froze over, that can only mean one thing!"
" Minnesota won a Championship !
……..,,….
