Ultimate Hick Trick?
Senior User
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 133
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From: Tankville
LoL, I wish I could post some pics. Ive parked this thing in the way a couple times to keep fire wood from rolling over the lower bank when I throw the chunks down a steep bank from above the road.... Its never been washed, the fenders are sandblasted from all the stuff flying off the tires when I'm out running the living snot out of it. If I didn't trash it when I drive it I'd be wasting gas
Loading her to the axel makes for a stable ride since the suspension is fubared.
Loading her to the axel makes for a stable ride since the suspension is fubared.
Post Fiend
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 19,402
Likes: 38
From: Bonita Springs FL
Originally Posted by the tank
I got a pretty hickish truck... Its a 1970 250 highboy with a rusted out banged up sagging 74 cab on it, a beat up 1970 box with no tailgate, a tree fell on it and I jacked the dents back up so the box is all crinkly near the front... No license plate lights, hockey pucks supoorting the box... Had to borrow some box mount bolts to fix the chain I carry around,rear Bumper is bent cause I tried to pull too big of a tree, front bumper is 1/2 steel, got rusty stick guard mesh screwed to the grill, Bent tie-rod, leaking ball-joints, clicking hubs, leaking worn out tranny, every slip-yoke is loose, half the UJ's are loose, t-case leaks and gets stuck in 4low sometimes, reaend leaks and has a whole ton of play in it, gun racks for two guns, majorly cracked front winshield on pass. side when the hoist fell into it, no panels on insides of doors, missing door handle, holes in bottom of doors, dash is busted and hangs in three separate pieces, none of the guages work besides the heat guage, radio has been beat in with a crow bar, one winshield wiper, e-brake doesn't work, have to downshift into third gear to make it up hills, loose steering, leaky brakes that stick every so often, master cylinder leaks, brake booster leaks, did I mention it was flat black?, 33"x12.5" mudders, a cracked rear lift block, broken leaf spring, old carpet to replace whatever was there before, cracked steering wheel+dash, horn does not work, dual pipes exiting under the cab with old rusty glass packs, one pipe is chained to the frame for support, cab mounts are rusted out, Got a busted shovel in the back a bunch of chains, a chainsaw, axe, spare tire is in the box to.... Every thing in the box is chained to the side of the box. No paint left in box, gas cap is all beat up so it leaks all over makeing this cool gas design on the side of my box, engine rattles almost as loud as the exhuast, all the gears make their own unique noise..... Missing taillight, and thats about it..... Its a real terror machine, DOT nightmare, 6-8mpg is like the best mileage it can get... It even goes boom every time I turn it off cause of the burnt valve... 2 spare cans of brake fluid in case I feel the pedal getting soft, a jug of oil, and jug of water for when it heats up and blows the rad fluid out. Sometimes the thing is so gutless(worn out 360) I gotta down shift to accelerate on flat ground!! Ive only manged to pass one vehicle with it and the guy let me pass, I had it in third gear for half a minute with the pedal to the floor trying to pass this guy doing 40mph, float bowel ran outta gas just as I pulled ahead then the dude let me pull in after all the effort
Senior User
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 148
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From: onatrio, canada
Here is a hick truck my buddy has and hes a definate hick. its a 90 chev not a ford sorry guys frames cracked and saged so bad we had to take the ladder rack off cuz you couldnt open teh doors there isnt a staright pannel on it and teh holes have been patched with foil tape painted blac the box sides are caved in has a busted grill and teh bumpers have been bent back so many times you can see where they are starting to split the box has hit teh cab so harb its created a huge dent all the way across has no exhaust after the cat has bicknell racing stickers all over it and other racing stickers all over teh windows a sweet stereo oh did i mention teh slick right rear tire and teh cracked leaf springs.
Post Fiend
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 6,214
Likes: 13
From: New Jersey
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Postmaster
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 2,873
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From: St. Peter
Jesus, what do you plan on hitting with that thing? whats it made out of like 1/8th steel? I would have gone 1/4 or 3/8 (yeah, i like overkill too). Seriously, i think my truck is just fine rednecked how it is, take a look at "the beast" in the gallery (the F150). Yes, that my friends is redneck. "great stuff" foam sealant in the rust holes, 1 manual, 1 power (non working) window. Taillights bolted to the bumper, looks like they tried to mount them in the bumper (look where someone started to torch the bumper to try and cut a hole on the right hand side). Only about 2 out of the 5 clearance lights worked. Note that all this stuff was done by the previous owner, (i'm actually fixing it). Also note the running board brackets hanging off it also (as of this min i allready took those off).
Post Fiend
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 6,214
Likes: 13
From: New Jersey
I don't intend on hitting anything actually...
Long story short, I had taken off the factory bumper because the brackets between the bumper and the frame rail rotted, and the pass side kept getting under the fender and rubbing on the tire. Then I got a ticket for driving without a front bumper, which was due to not finding one in a decent junkyard or on ebay, so that day, without much thought, I hauled out some steel I had lying around, and made a bumper cut to fit.
I used 1/4" plate for the two sides, and the three angled plates in the front, and the top was 12 or 14 ga I think, it was lying around.
If you want to see step by step, feel free:
http://www.midimonkey.com/~frederic/...perbumper.html
What is in the picture above is the "smaller" version. I had to lop off 8" of depth off the first version... it stuck out a little too far.
Long story short, I had taken off the factory bumper because the brackets between the bumper and the frame rail rotted, and the pass side kept getting under the fender and rubbing on the tire. Then I got a ticket for driving without a front bumper, which was due to not finding one in a decent junkyard or on ebay, so that day, without much thought, I hauled out some steel I had lying around, and made a bumper cut to fit.
I used 1/4" plate for the two sides, and the three angled plates in the front, and the top was 12 or 14 ga I think, it was lying around.
If you want to see step by step, feel free:
http://www.midimonkey.com/~frederic/...perbumper.html
What is in the picture above is the "smaller" version. I had to lop off 8" of depth off the first version... it stuck out a little too far.
Senior User
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 223
Likes: 0
From: Cheyenne Wy.
Actually, I am in Cheyenne as well.
Make it up as work truck, add the things you want and let it sort of take on it's own life.
Mine is a work truck and over the years has become more "hick" like as I fix things. Tailgate no longer latched, so I just added some gate hooks to hold it closed. Bed was all beat up, so I put in a bedliner. Seat was dying, so I found one out of the back of a crewcab at a junkyard. Bolted in, but a different color. Carpet is put in by me over the vinyl floor by cutting and gluing. Everything is safe, it just does not look the greatest. But it WORKS, hauls 1/2 ton a few times a week, and always starts right up. Almost 150k miles on it.
If you feel you must modify, then basically let your own tastes decide what you add to the truck.
Jim
Make it up as work truck, add the things you want and let it sort of take on it's own life.
Mine is a work truck and over the years has become more "hick" like as I fix things. Tailgate no longer latched, so I just added some gate hooks to hold it closed. Bed was all beat up, so I put in a bedliner. Seat was dying, so I found one out of the back of a crewcab at a junkyard. Bolted in, but a different color. Carpet is put in by me over the vinyl floor by cutting and gluing. Everything is safe, it just does not look the greatest. But it WORKS, hauls 1/2 ton a few times a week, and always starts right up. Almost 150k miles on it.
If you feel you must modify, then basically let your own tastes decide what you add to the truck.
Jim
Post Fiend
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 6,214
Likes: 13
From: New Jersey
Originally Posted by pond john
dont forget the bull horns on the hood!
Senior User
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 291
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One old truck I drove had the vice grip door handle. A big square hole in the floor over the tranny and the linkage sticking up through it so I could put it in drive. Passenger side only wipers. Plywood canopy, which I left pieces of all over the pacific nw. A 2" thick chunk of bondo filling a dent left by a rock that rolled off a hill as I was driving by. 35" tires on the rear and 29" on the front. The mirrors were rusted into the proper alignment until my cuz wanted to see through the passenger mirror. He turned it, the rust broke and the thing just flopped in the wind after that. It had a diamond tuck bench seat that wasn't bolted down. The glove box opened to only to gain access to the heater fan.
There were probably a lot more things about it that I've forgotten about.
That rig never left me stranded or failed to start. Just had to keep it fed.
There were probably a lot more things about it that I've forgotten about.
That rig never left me stranded or failed to start. Just had to keep it fed.
