.
O/t
Smokin
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 8,849
Likes: 0
I too know how much stress can be put on a ceiling fan motor and how hairspray can make things ignite...
I can also add a few new things to that list...like the approximate temperature at which slugs will melt. A hot radiator works best. Oh also if you bend a fork in just the right way you can get a pretty good electrical current out of a light socket...hot enough to melt legos. Jumping off the roof of a house and into a trampoline isn't nearly as fun as you might think. When you put over two dozen quarters on a train track when your dad isn't looking, one of them will surely ricochet and shatter the truck window.
. First time I ever got a spanking (as my dad told the story), I had my brother on the ground and he had a bloody nose. I was still in diapers (not quite 2) and my dad had to chase me down the street..I guess I knew I was in trouble.
I realize after what I put my dad through, my kids will probably be 10x worse.
You dads with little girls...just be careful. They aren't always as sweet as they look.
Thanks for the laugh Brandon.
Hotshot
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 13,144
Likes: 11
From: Rochdale MA
When Jaymi-Lyn was 18 months her brother, my stepson, who was 9 at the time decided that he was going to tease her by sitting next to me and telling her that I was his daddy. Well the first time he said "my daddy" she looked at him and said "no my daddy" he got closer to me and said it again. Jaymi-Lyn yelled at him "no Matt my Daddy" He thought this was funny so he put his head on my shoulder, and told her again "MY Daddy". She got so mad she jumped on him held his head with her left habd and closed fist started punching him with her right. All the while telling him "MY DADDY" with each punch. I was laughing so hard. We still tease Matt that he got beat up by a little girl.
Well good night everyone. It's late, I'm tired and I have to get up early tommorow. My oldest stepson is getting married on Saturday so I have a ton of stuff to do between now and then.
Well good night everyone. It's late, I'm tired and I have to get up early tommorow. My oldest stepson is getting married on Saturday so I have a ton of stuff to do between now and then.
Postmaster
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,135
Likes: 0
From: Brinklow Md
I cannot take credit for this, except for passing it on.
For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...
Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. House
4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with rollerblades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough,however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words uh oh, it's already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject PB sandwiches even though TV commercials showthey do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
25.) Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...
Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. House
4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with rollerblades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough,however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words uh oh, it's already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject PB sandwiches even though TV commercials showthey do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
25.) Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
I have heard about number 4 for quite some time though...
When Jaymi-Lyn was 18 months her brother, my stepson, who was 9 at the time decided that he was going to tease her by sitting next to me and telling her that I was his daddy. Well the first time he said "my daddy" she looked at him and said "no my daddy" he got closer to me and said it again. Jaymi-Lyn yelled at him "no Matt my Daddy" He thought this was funny so he put his head on my shoulder, and told her again "MY Daddy". She got so mad she jumped on him held his head with her left habd and closed fist started punching him with her right. All the while telling him "MY DADDY" with each punch. I was laughing so hard. We still tease Matt that he got beat up by a little girl.
Well good night everyone. It's late, I'm tired and I have to get up early tommorow. My oldest stepson is getting married on Saturday so I have a ton of stuff to do between now and then.
Well good night everyone. It's late, I'm tired and I have to get up early tommorow. My oldest stepson is getting married on Saturday so I have a ton of stuff to do between now and then.
My sister who is two year younger than me used to hit me and such, most of the time I would just laugh beacuse she is pretty funny when shes mad...then she figured out what a well placed kick to the groin would do. After that day I figured she was old enough for me to fight back...
Congrats about the stepson Jim
Postmaster
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 3,916
Likes: 0
From: Bellingham, WA
My company broke ground on a good sized addition today, so that means I'm out in the field a lot. Hard to catch up on the OT. I try to check in as much as I can.
Oh and Chris, all the materials are compliments of BB. Sherri said she wishes you guys still lived in Cali together, and that you guys had a ton of fun.
Post Fiend
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,241
Likes: 1
From: Powder Springs, East TN
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Not a liberal...
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 6,635
Likes: 4
From: Cut & Shoot, Texas
Good morning, everyone. Planning a trip to the waterslides this weekend?
Ha!
Here's a little Texas music to start your day off with and yes, Lisa, this is on your CD which ships out today.
YouTube - Steve Earle - Copperhead Road
Ha!
Here's a little Texas music to start your day off with and yes, Lisa, this is on your CD which ships out today.
YouTube - Steve Earle - Copperhead Road
Postmaster
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,135
Likes: 0
From: Brinklow Md
Good morning, everyone. Planning a trip to the waterslides this weekend?
Ha!
Here's a little Texas music to start your day off with and yes, Lisa, this is on your CD which ships out today.
YouTube - Steve Earle - Copperhead Road
Ha!
Here's a little Texas music to start your day off with and yes, Lisa, this is on your CD which ships out today.
YouTube - Steve Earle - Copperhead Road
Hotshot
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,499
Likes: 10
From: Sterling Heights,Mi
Can I get your support?
Subject:
New Presidential Candidate... It's someone we know!
Hi,
There's an effort to elect an unknown random person as President... and it's someone we know! Watch this online video about the surprising new nominee:
2008 Election Coverage
Jot back a note to let me know what you think!
Subject:
New Presidential Candidate... It's someone we know!
Hi,
There's an effort to elect an unknown random person as President... and it's someone we know! Watch this online video about the surprising new nominee:
2008 Election Coverage
Jot back a note to let me know what you think!
Smokin
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 8,849
Likes: 0
Scott, I can't wait. No waterparks for me anytime soon, I didn't like those BEFORE I heard the poop story.
He is burning Mp3's too, so there is probably hundreds of songs on there. I'll have to make room on my ipod.
Looks like Justin had some spare time on his hands...
Looks like Justin had some spare time on his hands...
Post Fiend
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 5,584
Likes: 0
From: Millbrook Alabama
Can I get your support?
Subject:
New Presidential Candidate... It's someone we know!
Hi,
There's an effort to elect an unknown random person as President... and it's someone we know! Watch this online video about the surprising new nominee:
2008 Election Coverage
Jot back a note to let me know what you think!
Subject:
New Presidential Candidate... It's someone we know!
Hi,
There's an effort to elect an unknown random person as President... and it's someone we know! Watch this online video about the surprising new nominee:
2008 Election Coverage
Jot back a note to let me know what you think!