The Safe for GNAC Joke Thread!!!
Hotshot
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 11,950
Likes: 5,076
4 cowboys walk into the bar -- you'd think ONE of them would have seen it first...
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Lead Driver
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 5,076
Likes: 865
From: N.W. Alabama
A man in Michigan wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof.
So he looks in the yellow pages, and sure enough, there’s an ad for North Bear Removers.”
He calls the number, and the bear remover says he’ll be over in 30 minutes.
The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van.
He’s got a ladder, a baseball bat, a 12-gauge shotgun, and a mean old pit bull.
“What are you going to do?” the homeowner asks…
“I’m going to put this ladder up against the roof, and then I’m going to go up there, and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat.
When the bear falls off the roof, the pit bull is trained to grab his *********, and not let go.
The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van.”
He then hands the shotgun to the homeowner.
“What’s the shotgun for?” asks the homeowner.
“If the bear knocks me off the roof.” Shoot the dog.
So he looks in the yellow pages, and sure enough, there’s an ad for North Bear Removers.”
He calls the number, and the bear remover says he’ll be over in 30 minutes.
The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van.
He’s got a ladder, a baseball bat, a 12-gauge shotgun, and a mean old pit bull.
“What are you going to do?” the homeowner asks…
“I’m going to put this ladder up against the roof, and then I’m going to go up there, and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat.
When the bear falls off the roof, the pit bull is trained to grab his *********, and not let go.
The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van.”
He then hands the shotgun to the homeowner.
“What’s the shotgun for?” asks the homeowner.
“If the bear knocks me off the roof.” Shoot the dog.
Lead Driver
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 5,076
Likes: 865
From: N.W. Alabama
A boss said to his secretary, “I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast.
I’ll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I’ll be done.”
She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story.
Her boyfriend said, “Do it but ask him for $2,000.
Then pick up the money so fast, he won’t even have enough time to undress himself.”
She agrees. After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, “So what happened?”
She responds, I can't talk right now! “The ******* used coins, so I’m still picking them up, and he is still having sex with me!”
I’ll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I’ll be done.”
She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story.
Her boyfriend said, “Do it but ask him for $2,000.
Then pick up the money so fast, he won’t even have enough time to undress himself.”
She agrees. After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, “So what happened?”
She responds, I can't talk right now! “The ******* used coins, so I’m still picking them up, and he is still having sex with me!”
