The Safe for GNAC Joke Thread!!!
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 26,155
Likes: 4,149
From: Near Cal. Avenue
“But mom!” the little boy protested,
“That’s what the teacher taught us! And
she said we should recite it till we learned it!”
The next day his mother went to the teacher to complain.
“No, no.” said the teacher terrified.
“That’s not what I taught them.
They’re supposed to say:
‘Two plus two = 4
“That’s what the teacher taught us! And
she said we should recite it till we learned it!”
The next day his mother went to the teacher to complain.
“No, no.” said the teacher terrified.
“That’s not what I taught them.
They’re supposed to say:
‘Two plus two = 4
Fleet Owner
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 26,155
Likes: 4,149
From: Near Cal. Avenue
“Children, I’d like you to close your eyes and taste these.”
The kids easily identified the taste of cherries, lemons and
mint, but when the teacher gave them honey-flavored lifesavers,
all of the kids were stumped.
I’ll give you a hint,” said the teacher.
“It’s something your mommy probably calls your daddy all the time.”
Instantly Billey coughed his onto the floor.
The kids easily identified the taste of cherries, lemons and
mint, but when the teacher gave them honey-flavored lifesavers,
all of the kids were stumped.
I’ll give you a hint,” said the teacher.
“It’s something your mommy probably calls your daddy all the time.”
Instantly Billey coughed his onto the floor.
Fleet Owner
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 21,253
Likes: 1,656
From: Reynoldsburg, Ohio
A teacher was working with a group of children,
trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception.
She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said,
“Children, I’d like you to close your eyes and taste these.”
The kids easily identified the taste of cherries, lemons and
mint, but when the teacher gave them honey-flavored lifesavers,
all of the kids were stumped. I’ll give you a hint,” said the teacher.
“It’s something your mommy probably calls your daddy all the time.”
Instantly, Little Johnny coughed his onto the floor and shouted,
“Quick! Spit’em out! They’re *******s!”
trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception.
She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said,
“Children, I’d like you to close your eyes and taste these.”
The kids easily identified the taste of cherries, lemons and
mint, but when the teacher gave them honey-flavored lifesavers,
all of the kids were stumped. I’ll give you a hint,” said the teacher.
“It’s something your mommy probably calls your daddy all the time.”
Instantly, Little Johnny coughed his onto the floor and shouted,
“Quick! Spit’em out! They’re *******s!”
What does the blocked out word in asterisks rhyme with?
Fleet Owner
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 21,253
Likes: 1,656
From: Reynoldsburg, Ohio
That's ^^^^ a question we'll NEVER find the correct answer to!
Sure we can hear them perfectly but we seem to lose it understanding their rather convoluted but adorable thought processes. I've learned to pause just a nano-second before replying to most women's questions looking for a possible sub-text or pitfall answering too soon might not reveal.
Sure we can hear them perfectly but we seem to lose it understanding their rather convoluted but adorable thought processes. I've learned to pause just a nano-second before replying to most women's questions looking for a possible sub-text or pitfall answering too soon might not reveal.
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 158,421
Likes: 11,986
From: Greenfield, MA
It was 6 year old Abigail's bed time so dad took her upstairs to tuck her in after her prayers.
"Lord please watch out over grandpa...he's going to die tomorrow." Although startled...dad thought nothing about it. Low and behold...grandpa passed the next day.
The next evening...dad escorted Abigail to her room for the evening ritual of tucking her in after her prayers.
"Lord please watch out over grandma...she's going to die tomorrow." Again...dad said nothing to her. Low and behold...grandma passed the next day.
A few weeks go by...you guessed it...bed time...dad takes Abigail upstairs for prayers and tucking in.
"Lord please watch out over daddy...he's going to die tomorrow." A bit taken aback dad goes downstairs and cracks a beer.
The next day arrives...dad goes to work...and...has an absolutely horrible day waiting for the inevitable to happen. At the end of the work day dad heads home. "I just had the worst day of my life" he explained to his wife. "I thought Abigail was going to be right again."
"You think you had a bad day," the wife responded. "I went out to get the mail and found the mailman dead on the front porch."
"Lord please watch out over grandpa...he's going to die tomorrow." Although startled...dad thought nothing about it. Low and behold...grandpa passed the next day.
The next evening...dad escorted Abigail to her room for the evening ritual of tucking her in after her prayers.
"Lord please watch out over grandma...she's going to die tomorrow." Again...dad said nothing to her. Low and behold...grandma passed the next day.
A few weeks go by...you guessed it...bed time...dad takes Abigail upstairs for prayers and tucking in.
"Lord please watch out over daddy...he's going to die tomorrow." A bit taken aback dad goes downstairs and cracks a beer.
The next day arrives...dad goes to work...and...has an absolutely horrible day waiting for the inevitable to happen. At the end of the work day dad heads home. "I just had the worst day of my life" he explained to his wife. "I thought Abigail was going to be right again."
"You think you had a bad day," the wife responded. "I went out to get the mail and found the mailman dead on the front porch."
