Thats a cute pic Lisa.

I also like number 5 on your list there, how true!

 

some of my best time was on the farm

 

I've pass by there a few times driving back and forth from Seattle to Socal, long drive 21 hours straight. best to break that drive up in a couple of days, I fly when I can. only takes 2 1/2 hours that way.

smelly, smelly area right there. whew!

Ed

 

here is one for you to laugh at Lisa and Cris. and on that note I'm going home.

I got 6 mazda test done and sold a bunch of parts today and had time to visit with youz guys.

have a good laugh. I ABOUT CRIED!



ONLY A MAN WOULD ATTEMPT THIS

Just try reading this without laughing till you cry!!!
Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:


Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized tazer. The effects of the tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

AWESOME!!!

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.. .?

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it dip****,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and .. .

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE HELL!!!

I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, ********* nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs? The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a tazer, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor.. A three second burst would be considered conservative?

IT HURT LIKE HELL!!!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling.

Apparently I pooped on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my nuts and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!

P..s... My wife, can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!

If you think education is difficult, try being stupid !!!

 

LOL Ed thats a funny one. Read it a few times, still funny every time.

I liked number 13. Even though its snowing there, I miss home a lot still.

 

Rules of the northeast: (thinkin em up as I go)

1: 4 wheel drive does not help you stop.
2: Learn to drive on snow, people. We get it every year.
3: That farm has been here for the past 100 years. You built your house next to it 3 years ago. Shut the f*** up about the smell.
4: Yes I drive a PowerStroke no I don't want to race your stupid ricer.
5: This one is for the white kids who grew up in suburbia driving the car mommy and daddy bought them: You are not "hood" and you are not black. Please return to your home and turn your music down. Mommy and daddy's country club friends don't like it
6: If you black people refuse to turn down the base on your rap music please return to your "hood"
7: No this list is not PC and I don't much care.

In the words of the Indian guy at the Getty down the street from school.

"Dank yoo come again"

 

Oh god Ed I've heard that one before and I always end up on the floor LMAO.

 

That is great Ed!!!!!!

 

So one of the girls out at the barn got a puppy. I didn't think nevel would be so tolerant of it. But heres the Video


******* src="http://p.webshots.com/flash/smallplayer.swf?videoFile=http://videoserve.webshots.com/video/26495/3031356390104488357WkNlfn_v_0.flv&audio=on&display ImagePreview=http://videothumb16.webshots.com/thumb/26495/3031356390104488357WkNlfnstill_002_0.jpg&videoPage Url=http://good-times.webshots.com/video/3031356390104488357WkNlfn&autoPlay=false&shareLink =http://cards.webshots.com/ecard/personalize?photoId=3031356390104488357%26source=v " type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350" quality="best" allowscriptaccess="always">********><br/><br/><a href="http://good-times.webshots.com/video/3031356390104488357WkNlfn">Nevel+Raya2.wmv</a>

 

That's a cute pup, Nolan.

 

Your talking to the wrong group here bud! I dont know anyone in here that wouldnt love to spank a "ricer" car with their PSD! Oh the looks they give ya after!

 

Cute video Nolan. Is Nevel a girl or boy?

Dogs definitely understand the difference between a "pup" and an Adult. Nevel knows the puppy is a young creature and that he needs to be gentle.

I'm always amazed when I see animals around small children, and how gentle they are. Well, most animals anyway!

 

Yes, but it gets old when they want to race at EVERY stop light. Even after you spanked em at the last light.

 

Maybe it just doesnt get old for me I like dealing out spankins with my truck!

 

I agree. I find it most annoying that everyone wants to race me. I shouldn't have to prove myself to the Neon with 4 different color body panels.

I only accept worthy competition.