Slow going here today. So slow that I got lost and ended up in the F-150 forum 😉

 

I posted my dad's '69 Blazer for sale on Craigslist today for $10k. Four responses so far. One guy can't seem to figure out how to use his phone. One guy wants to look at it right away. The vehicle is up in the mountains - two hours from my house - and is not running. My dad is a little on the goofy side - he wanted it listed at $24! - so I need to be there when people look at it. I'm trying to schedule appointments one hour apart. This is turning out to be more work than I thought.

 

Sweat under the moobies, down the crack, and any other deep and dark crevices is a real thing down here. I've been having to run deliveries to help us keep up and it's really damn hot and humid out there. My solution is the run pipe cleaners under the moobies, under the pits, down the spine and into the crack, split into 2 runs, and out the legs of my shorts. Wicks all the sweat away. The principle is kind of like the chain hanging from the gutter thing. I may patent it. Got to come up with a catchy name and incorporate it with the u-cake business.

 

I hate selling stuff online. Book times for people to come, some don’t show and then when the item does sell, you have to let everybody that had a time know. You forget to tell one person and they show up to find it’s already sold. They get mad at you and you basically have to tell them to get the F off my property. Now you worry about your vehicles getting vandalized.

I sold a 8 gallon 1.5hp oiled air compressor that was $10 yrs old for $150 bucks and went straight out and bought a 26 gallon 2hp compressor for $200 brand new.(on sale from $450) I’m pretty sure I bought the 8gal compressor for $100. Some people aren’t too bright. 😀

 

Moobie tampons!

 

So I be rollin in my 'sis 'faux
Gold Monkey Ward Power Kraft,
Wheels dropped for the chop.
Neither catch bag nor a top.

'Mow my way to the Mod Saloon.
Parking lot like a dried lagoon.

So I keep rollin in my 'sis 'faux
Weeds way too high
All seedy and dry
Ain't gonna lie
I Need to hire a guy

But what catches my eye
On the seedy side of town
By the by
in a bar
called
The Basement...

Is a row of Blue Ovals
Across tailgates
Still intact
Still there, in fact
In the parking lot of
The Basement.

I recognize those tailgates.
They all belong to a Team.
Some call them The Seagulls.
Some Call them The Buzzards.
Some call them The Vultures.
I call them... My Teammates.

I park over by the dumpster.
It isn't burning at the moment,
And I don't want anyone to see
How I roll.
In a '64 Montgomery Wards
Metal deck, metal tank,
metal wheel wonder.
3 HP, I might add.
Naturally aspirated.

I have to catch my own breath
inside, as I see why
Everyone's here.
Big Beautiful posters of
Sally Fields
on the walls.
Wow. Memories.

Lucky that no one sees me come - in.
I stand off to the side, listening...
As my Teammates talk:
One asks...
"Do any of those Boys ever discuss Ford trucks?"
Another responds...
"Are any of those Boys even old enough to drive?"

I hear loud noises
in the game room
way in the back.
Open I crack
The door to peek in
And find...

The usual shenanigans.

Rough housing. Pranks. Cursing.
Running upstairs to cause trouble.
Running downstairs to brag about it.

I close the door, deciding
To leave the FBI... strike that,
To leave the FTE WANTED Poster
Taped up on the door instead.

Surely, nature will call
Each of the Boys out
For a brief date
With a U cake
On a bio break
Now and again.

And on each of these breaks
They'll see what's at stake
For any time they don't take
The site rules that they break
More seriously.

Here's your sign:

FTE WANTED: A FEW GOOD MEMBERS...

TO HAVE FUN

TO MAKE FRIENDS

TO FIND FORDS

TO FIX FORDS
(DAILY, AS MAY BE REQUIRED)

TO CHECK THREAD
(DAILY, AS MAY BE REQUIRED)

TO GIVE HELP WHEN NEEDED

TO GET HELP WHEN NEEDED

TO FIND AN ONLINE BUDDY HERE

TO FIND AN ONLINE HOME HERE

TO TEACH SOMEONE SOMETHING

TO LEARN SOMETHING FROM SOMEONE

TO ESTABLISH CONNECTIONS

TO FIND RESPITE AND ESCAPE IN HARMLESS BANTER... FROM THE WORLD'S TROUBLES IN TRYING TIMES

TO BE CONSIDERATE

TO RESPECT OTHER MEMBERS

TO FOLLOW THE FTE SITE GUIDELINES

TO ACCEPT MODERATION IN STRIDE

TO UNDERSTAND THAT MODERATORS
HAVE THREE TIMES AS MANY GUIDELINES TO FOLLOW AS MEMBERS DO,
AND LABOR VOLUNTARILY,
WITH GOOD WILL,
WITHOUT REWARD,
IN SERVICE TO THE MEMBERSHIP
FOR THE GREATER INTERESTS OF THE SURVIVAL
OF THE FTE FORUM OVER TIME.

TO WATCH WHAT YOU PUT ON YOUR BISCUITS

TO CARRY ON, HAVING LOTS OF FUN!


I walk away softly,
carrying my
big stick
(in the mud)
Bypassing the Bud
and slip outside.
Hoping. Praying.
Pleading... that my
Briggs & Stratton motor
will start again.

And alas, it spits and sputters and...
I be rollin in my 'sis 'faux.
With all the suckas sayin'
Swing Down Sweet Chariot
Let me ride...

 

SNIPED by @Mattm400

I'm slippin.

 

Y2K, you have way, way, way too much time on your hands. You need to get a job!

 

What brand and size of pipe cleaner?

 

what is this “cold” you speak of??

 

Jim, I use the jumbo ones; 30 mm diameter x 78" long. You guys could probably get away with the small to medium sized ones.
When I was in your neck of the woods in January for 3-4 days my nose bled every day and my lips were cracked like a dried up mud flat. I od'd on the chapstick. I don't know which one is worse, our sauna or you guys' humidity vacuum.

 

Y2K: The Man, The Myth, The Legend. I an in awe of the literary masterpiece. Thank you for shining your literary genius on the peasantry of FTE (speaking of myself, in case anyone objects to being called a peasant.).

 

Y2K 's post in parts is symbolism. The bar, the basement, row of Blue Ovals. Going up to Tech causing chaos, coming back here bragging to our buddies.
The basement is base camp for expeditions into FTE.

There is a reluctant admiration for us island of misfit toys, when the hammer comes down, it is with no great joy. Corporate doesn't want us to burn our city down.....again.

For some damn reason, we'll dig through a gold mine looking for silver


I know this, Y2K is proud of us. As dysfunctional as we are, we are a Team, bonded long ago in Broncos thread.

Thanks Y2K, there's never hard feelings, you have a damn job to do, and we're just damn stupid