Dear Sir:

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block #3 of the accident reporting form. I put “Poor Planning” as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over which when weighed later were found to weigh 240 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 240 lbs of bricks. You will note on the accident reporting form that my weight is 135 lbs.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in Section 3 of the accident reporting form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley which I mentioned in Paragraph 2 of this correspondence. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground, and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight.

As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move and watching the empty barrel six stories above me, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope…

 

 

 

A Karen was bored with driving her BMW.
It lacked individuality and besides that,
every other girl in the office had one.
Karen fancied something a bit more individual,
perhaps an MG convertible.
That week Karen visited her local car dealer and
spied a beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible.
It was wonderfully restored and
Karen fell in love with its gorgeous red paint work.
An empty check stub later and
off she was tearing down the leafy country lanes enjoying her beautiful new car.
Karens long blonde hair was flowing in the wind,
music blaring from the radio, what could possibly go wrong?

At that thought there was a splutter from the engine and
the car slowly coasted to a stop. She got out and
lifted the Hood and concluded after a few minutes that
she didn't have a clue what was wrong.
Luckly she had her Apple 12 pro phone with her and
a quick phone call to her Auto Insurance Co. and
a short wait saw Flashing lights and a Flatbed pulled up behind her.
"That's a lovely car," said the mechanic.
"What seems to be the matter?
So; Karen replied, "Well, it just conked out " !
"Let me have look." He set to work and
ten minutes later the engine was running again.
"Thank goodness," Karen said.
"What was the matter?"
"Simple really, just crap in the carburetor," he replied.
Looking shocked she asked,
" How many times a week will I have to do that?"

TaTa the tec says as he pulls away in His Companies new Flatbed !

Obviously a Ford Tec.

 

 

 

 

Sure hope 15,000 F150's aren't in this situation also ! The picture seems sort of funny ! is Chevy Colorado in a Quary near Troy Mo.

 

Getting ready to stop the rust permanently

 

 

Snowball does that all the time to me and I wear a seat belt, I worry that that elbow is gonna break a rib ! Its like a battle bat !

 

Brad and Mike are two old retired widowers who reside close to each other and
do constant welfare checks on each other. Much of their relationship is based on
pragmatism rather than real friendship or personal affection.
One day, as he drinks his morning coffee, Mike opens the morning paper and
turns to the obituaries page.
He gets the shock of his life when he sees his own obituary in the column.
He realizes that the query for info on him by the local newspaper several months earlier,
was in preparation for this event. He correctly surmises that it is a mistaken entry from their database.
It still excites and rankles him, so he calls Brad up.
"Brad, are you up yet?" asks Mike.
Brad sleepily answers, "Yeah, but I'm only now starting my coffee."
"Brad, open the newspaper to page 31."
"Why, what's in the paper?"
"Brad, get the paper and open it to page 31 NOW!"
"Ok, I've got the paper here, so what's in page 31?"
"Brad, open the paper to page 31 !"
"All right, don't be such a pain so early in the morning .
So, what's on page 31 that's so important?"
"Brad, look at the bottom of column 4."
"Why? What's that story on?"
"Brad, read the story on the bottom of the column !"
"OK, OK, I got the column and reading it, if you stop yelling in my ear!"
The paper rustles for a few seconds, then a long silent pause ensues.
Finally, Brad comes on the line quietly and asks,
"So Mike, where are you calling me from ?"

 

 

 

An oldie...but...a goodie!!! ^^^^^