The Safe for GNAC Joke Thread!!!
Fleet Owner
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 26,155
Likes: 4,149
From: Near Cal. Avenue
They will also eat up all the munchies ! 
While the drunks waste the restroom with vomit ! 
While the drunks waste the restroom with vomit ! FTE Stories
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Hotshot
Joined: Mar 2011
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Huck and Finn grew up as best friends. They played together, went to school together, joined the army together, and were even the "best man" at each other's wedding. One day they were discussing getting older and decided that when one of them died, they could make things easier on their wives by the surviving friend handling all of the funeral details.
So if Huck passes first there will be a cremation and his ashes scattered on the shore of a nearby lake. Finn, it turns out, is more traditional and if Finn passes first then Huck'll bury Finn.
So if Huck passes first there will be a cremation and his ashes scattered on the shore of a nearby lake. Finn, it turns out, is more traditional and if Finn passes first then Huck'll bury Finn.
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Cargo Master
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 3,191
Likes: 2,007
From: SW Washington
A Story from Old Russia:
It's 1903, and Sacha Kovenkov is on his way to the big annual market fair in Moscow, with his wife next to him holding their newest baby son and their eight children in the back of the huge old wagon loaded with farm products they will sell at the fair like they do every year.
Sacha is a wealthy peasant, his farm products supply the palace of Tsar Nicholas II of Russia. Sacha is well known too, peddlers wave to him along the way to the fair.
A peddler named Symon hails Sacha, begs him to slow down.
Symon, Hey, Sacha, sir, here is a wonderful new invention just come from the continent, imported from Paris, look!
Symon waves a stiff sturdy brush with a long wooden handle at Sacha.
Only 3 kopek!
Sacha, What is it?
Symon, It's a toilet brush. How many outhouses have you, Sacha?
Sacha, proudly, thumbs in his vest armholes, I got 8 outhouses.
Symon, Take 12 brushes then, Sacha, I give you four for discount!
The peddler puts them in Sacha's wagon, and the family goes on to the fair.
Fast forward to 1904: Sacha is again in his wagon, his wife now nursing the tenth new arrival, the other nine children spread out in the back on the road to the Moscow fair.
Symon the Peddler spies Sacha and hails him like the year before.
Sacha, Sacha, Slow down! I have something new and wonderful to show you!
Sacha slows down, What is it?
Symon, It's a.. well, wait a sec. First I want to know how you liked the toilet brushes I sold you last year? How were they? G?
Sacha, hesitates, strokes his beard, then shakes his head with a saddened expression, says,
Methinks the brushes were good but the wife did not. She prefers paper.
It's 1903, and Sacha Kovenkov is on his way to the big annual market fair in Moscow, with his wife next to him holding their newest baby son and their eight children in the back of the huge old wagon loaded with farm products they will sell at the fair like they do every year.
Sacha is a wealthy peasant, his farm products supply the palace of Tsar Nicholas II of Russia. Sacha is well known too, peddlers wave to him along the way to the fair.
A peddler named Symon hails Sacha, begs him to slow down.
Symon, Hey, Sacha, sir, here is a wonderful new invention just come from the continent, imported from Paris, look!
Symon waves a stiff sturdy brush with a long wooden handle at Sacha.
Only 3 kopek!
Sacha, What is it?
Symon, It's a toilet brush. How many outhouses have you, Sacha?
Sacha, proudly, thumbs in his vest armholes, I got 8 outhouses.
Symon, Take 12 brushes then, Sacha, I give you four for discount!
The peddler puts them in Sacha's wagon, and the family goes on to the fair.
Fast forward to 1904: Sacha is again in his wagon, his wife now nursing the tenth new arrival, the other nine children spread out in the back on the road to the Moscow fair.
Symon the Peddler spies Sacha and hails him like the year before.
Sacha, Sacha, Slow down! I have something new and wonderful to show you!
Sacha slows down, What is it?
Symon, It's a.. well, wait a sec. First I want to know how you liked the toilet brushes I sold you last year? How were they? G?
Sacha, hesitates, strokes his beard, then shakes his head with a saddened expression, says,
Methinks the brushes were good but the wife did not. She prefers paper.