The Safe for GNAC Joke Thread!!!
Logistics Pro
Joined: Sep 2021
Posts: 4,241
Likes: 2,205
From: Hills of WV
Moderator
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 158,421
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From: Greenfield, MA
Late one night a burglar broke into a house.
He froze when he heard a loud voice say, "Jesus is watching!"
Silence returned to the house so the burglar crept forward.
"Jesus is watching!" the voice boomed again.
The robber stopped dead in his tracks and looked all around.
He spotted a parrot in a cage.
"Was that you?" asked the burglar?
"Yes," answered the parrot.
The criminal sighed in relief and asked, "What's your name?"
"Clarence," said the bird.
"That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar.
"What idiot named you Clarence?"
"The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus."
THINK IS DESERVES A REPEAT !
He froze when he heard a loud voice say, "Jesus is watching!"
Silence returned to the house so the burglar crept forward.
"Jesus is watching!" the voice boomed again.
The robber stopped dead in his tracks and looked all around.
He spotted a parrot in a cage.
"Was that you?" asked the burglar?
"Yes," answered the parrot.
The criminal sighed in relief and asked, "What's your name?"
"Clarence," said the bird.
"That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar.
"What idiot named you Clarence?"
"The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus."
THINK IS DESERVES A REPEAT !
Lead Driver
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 5,076
Likes: 865
From: N.W. Alabama
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
Lead Driver
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 5,076
Likes: 865
From: N.W. Alabama
What did the green grape say to the purple grape.... "Breathe, stupid!"
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Lead Driver
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 5,076
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From: N.W. Alabama
A Backwoods husband, wife and son finally go to the city. They visit a shopping mall and while the mother is shopping, the father and son are standing in awe in front of an elevator (having no idea what it is). As they watch, an elderly lady walks into the strange silver doors and the doors close. The father and son watch as the numbers go up, and then back down. When the doors open, a beautiful young woman walks out. The father leans over and whispers to the son, "Son, go get your maw!"
Lead Driver
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 5,076
Likes: 865
From: N.W. Alabama
Bob goes to see his friend Pete. He finds Pete in his barn dancing naked around his John Deere. "What are you doing!" asks Bob. Pete stops dancing & says, "My wife has been ignoring me lately so I talked to my psychiatrist and he said I needed to do some thing sexy to a tractor." [to attract her]
