So true.

When my dad passed away 8 1/2 years ago, one of the prevailing thoughts I couldn't get out of my head was how thankful I was for my faith in my heavenly Father, because I couldn't fathom how non-believers coped with the loss of a loved one.

Stewart

 

So sorry for your great loss.

 

Today was Dan's funeral and I was heartbroken that I could not be there as I left for a business trip yesterday mid-day and could not easily change the trip. So I spent some time on the plane yesterday writing my farewell to my very close friend Dan. I had hoped to have been at the funeral in person to say a few words…but that wasn’t able to happen and I am so very sorry for having missed it. So I posted my thoughts to Dan on his caring bridge webpage and am sharing them here for you all since you have been a part of this journey for the last few years...this is my tribute to my dear friend, incredible man and an absolute inspiration to me and so many people for how he LIVED his life and not only since he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer either. I have not edited the content in any way for this FTE forum...I hope it reads okay on here...


Today was a celebration of the life of Dan as well as a search for answers to some questions we all have and explore some of God’s gifts that have been shared with us…yes even in these difficult times we can reflect back on moments in our lives that are true gifts and those reflections help us to deal with our grief. I first got to know Dan and Carrie from work but our relationship between our families has grown so much more outside of work for many years now and I am blessed for that one gift alone. I know today is about Dan but I must share a little bit of background on myself because some of my life has relevance in what I am sharing in this post with you today. My life has taken some very interesting twists and turns to put me here today to be able to write this on Caringbridge. I know that the only reason I am here today is because of the grace and compassion of our Lord. You see in 2004 I was involved in a very serious motorcycle accident out in Denver Colorado. I have undergone 17 surgeries and spent 3+ months in a level 1 trauma center on my journey with Christ and was told by my surgeons that they never thought I would wake up in ICU let alone make a full recovery.

My accident was measured by less than a 1% chance of my survival. Seeming unfathomable and unbeatable odds. Yet I am still here today because of only one reason…GOD. Everyone’s prayers are certainly what got me through and continues to get me through my journey. While I was laying in ICU those many weeks away from my two young daughters but with my loving wife by my side, I often spoke with GOD and asked him why me? Yet THIS why me was different then what most people would think. My question was why did HE give me a second chance on life? I realize that I may go through the rest of my life and not really understanding HIS plans for me, but there is a plan for all of us. Perhaps I am still here so I can share this with everyone…I don’t know. But I do know that days like today are especially difficult ones for me to deal with being here writing this while my close friend is no longer with us. But I have come to realize that perhaps those that have gone before me including Dan, are in fact in a better place and those of us here on earth are still waiting to enter that special place. I can tell you that I know I looked briefly into HIS Kingdom a couple of times those early days following my accident and I can tell you I had no fear of where I was going. I know Dan is in a peaceful place with HIM. My memories of my brief glimpse are incredible. Everything was so peaceful. I was not scared and I would have fully accepted my end so I know Dan is at peace and finally without pain again. I tell you all of this because my experience has taught me through tragedy there is always some good. It is so easy to go through life and not realize what HE wants us to hear because we are so caught up with living. I am certainly not sure what message HE is trying to send now as we grieve and remember Dan. Perhaps in some way I do know we may never know…this I accept, for I know that HE reveals to us what we need to understand and are willing to open our hearts to accept. There are messages in our lives everyday from HIM that most of us just don’t understand. As life unfolds some things do become clearer…in time Dan’s passing may become clearer too…we need to keep our hearts open for our message.

Okay…enough about me…I shared that with you because my situation has taught me certain things that may help us deal with Dan’s passing. I also shared that with you to give you some perspective of how my life has evolved during my journey to bring me to where I am in my life today. But today we said goodbye to a dear husband, father, son and friend. All of us have our own special memories of Dan and our own reasons for loving and missing him. One thing I know we all have in common is that our love for Dan and our knowledge in how strongly Dan believed that God was ALWAYS there for him and for us.

Some of my personal memories of Dan are very similar to those you have. The things he did for people, his love for his children, his wife, his mom, his family, his friends and his passion for God and church and how God was the center of his life. It is easy to see that Dan devoted his life to living his life as Dan felt was worthy for what Jesus sacrificed for all of us. In all the writings I was blessed to have read on CarringBridge it was evident just how much Love Dan and Carrie both have for our Lord Jesus Christ. Watching the two of them together or reading the much appreciated journal updates just gave you a lift in your spirit to be a witness to such unyielding faith! Also one memory that I will hold very close to my heart is just how hard Dan fought this latest challenge in his life. Watching him fight for three years when his doctors told him otherwise…Dan simply refused to accept their “expert” opinions and he truly lived his life these last three years and when I say lived…I do mean LIVED!!!

My friendship with Dan started at work talking with him about fishing. We both had a passion for it and enjoyed talking about our favorite crappie bait or method of catching them. It grew into a closer friendship following my accident when Dan and Carrie took the time out of their lives to drive me back and forth to work when I couldn’t drive and has continued to grow between our families. Dan also had a passion for hockey, RC airplanes, skiing, dirt bike riding, the martial arts and many others and he shared many of these passions with many of you and I know each of you have that special memory of your time with him…cherish it as your gift with your time with Dan.

I started my writing by talking about gifts from God. All it takes is a quick look back at Dan’s life to see how blessed he has been as he lived his life. Well over 20 years ago Dan fought and beat cancer. Dan is a fighter as all of you know and have witnessed this latest battle he had with that dreaded disease. In all of my life I have never witnessed a fight quite like this one and I’m sure I will never again witness one quite like it either. However his first battle was when he was a young man but one that was a difficult one to beat and he did. He is a true inspiration to me and I am sure all of you too…how could he not be? After winning that first battle he was determined to live his life right and has received and given many gifts and love since. His daughters Nikki and Danielle are here today and have wonderful memories of their amazing father. Dan went on to meet and marry Carrie and through a gift from God they brought beautiful little Sarah into this world. A child that brings a smile to anyone that meets her. Also look at the gift of the circle of friendship that has been connected through the years Dan LIVED following that first battle that has pulled all of us together. What an amazing gift for all of us to know and be witness to the fact that Dan did things right in his life. He was a true Sheppard of God’s word as is evidenced by all of his actions in his life. Dan sure did give out lots of Love in his life and that love created the amazing circle of love between all of us. I do not profess to have all the answers or any answers for that matter and frankly I am struggling as all of you are with trying to understand the gift in this part of the journey. But I do trust and have unyielding faith in our Lord that there is something here that is yet to be revealed and my heart is open and waiting if our Lord decides to give us that insight. But I understand that it may not be until we stand in His presence to fully understand this part of the journey.

To be honest, I am still in amazement as to how He has woven Dan’s life and my life and all of our lives in such a way that has led us to where we are in our lives. As just one example of the complexity involved…just one turn or twist and things would be completely changed. Just think what would have happened to all of us if Dan or I had died earlier in life from our prior challenges and not be here in 2011? For one...You would not be reading this very lengthy message! Each of us have that link and thread and GIFT if we open our hearts and focus on the things that are important in life as we witness God's awesome power…God has a way of bringing His children together in a way that we can never totally understand, believe or imagine…THAT is His wonder and amazement. God truly is Great and I know that I am nothing without Him.

Roberta…I would like to tell you again how amazing a woman you are. Your influence raising Dan as a single parent is something to be admired. I know you must be so very proud of Dan for the man and father he became because of YOUR influence and mothering. You SHOULD be proud…I know Dan loved you very much and I know how much you loved him. No parent should ever lose a child and I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through but please know that everyone is by your side and you are not alone. Knowing how great of a man and father Dan grew up to become because of the influence you had on him as well as his upbringing….That is YOUR gift.

Nikki…I have come to know you through your dad’s challenge. Your dad loved you immensely and struggled with how to deal with your independence yet he knew you were cut from the same cloth that he was. Please know that he loved you very much and he saw much of himself in you which made things harder for him…cherish your memories with him and know he is always with you and you are so very much like him with that independent attitude…that is YOUR gift.

Danielle…I have also come to know you through your dad’s challenge. You are an amazing young lady. Your attitude and fight is clearly another of your dad’s traits. Your smile is contagious and something you should always keep and openly share! Never let anyone tell you that you aren’t a special person because you always had a way of bringing peace and calming to a situation…that is YOUR gift…always cherish your time with your dad…he loved you very much.

Sarah…you truly light up any room that you enter. Your energy and infectious smile and laughter are priceless. You have gotten to spend these last few years with your dad home with you and your smile is one of the reasons that kept his spirit so high and fight so strong. Your energy and laughter were some of the best medicines anyone could give your daddy. You helped to keep your daddy going with your energy…you got to spend more time with him than anyone else and that is YOUR gift.

Carrie…you are a true angel. You came to Dan and fell in love with him and you guys became an incredibly strong couple. You are an inspiration to so many couples out there. Your strength and faith are a true example to others and you should be so very proud of being that example to so many. Your union was relatively short but look at the love you have brought unto this earth….Sarah. You will always see Dan when you look at Sarah. That is YOUR gift…cherish each and every memory you have each time you look at Sarah and see her dad. His strength, personality, humor LIVES in that little girl that both of you created.

I know it is so very hard to sit and recount each memory that we hold dear to ourselves about Dan…but he is someone that I will model MY life after for the way he LIVED his life. He is a true Sheppard of our Lord Jesus Christ and we celebrate that today. I am honored and humbled to have had the chance to get to know Dan. The twists and turns in both Dan’s and my lives are just too unbelievable to believe it is just chance…It is obvious to me that God has been orchestrating this from moment one for Dan and I and for that I am so very grateful to be able to share this today…I just wish I could have been in Indiana personally today to say goodbye in person. I know that I am not alone in these twists and turns in my life. There are many of you that have had similar challenges in your life and were honored to have your life’s path cross Dan’s as well and that is your gift just like it is my gift for my life. I started by talking about GIFTS and gave examples throughout this post about GIFTS...We each have our own special thoughts and memories and personal GIFTS from our time with Dan and we should cherish those thoughts and memories and GIFTS while we are here on earth...but also know that one day we will be re-united with Dan in God’s Kingdom and Dan will ask us what took us so long to get there with that characteristic Dan Harhigh grin and smirk on his face because we will all miss Dan and Dan’s amazing sense of humor…he certainly will be missed by so many…The world sure lost someone special and God sure got Himself a special Angel.

Thank you for reading this lengthy tribute to an amazing man…

You will be missed Dan Harhigh…you will be missed.

May God Bless us all

 

Condolences to you and Dan's family. They are still in our prayers.

 

I am really sorry for Their and Your LOSS!! My Prayers are with all!!!!!