A Harmless, Meaningless, Mind game response
Hotshot
Joined: Jan 2021
Posts: 10,873
Likes: 2,761
Builds a wall made of pvc fencing around his house to keep people out, forgets the gate so he's locked himself in. Spends his days on FTE hoping for an airlift of supplies. Meanwhile the dog turds are building up at a rapid pace so he tries to sell them online as fertilizer. His only customer is PT who uses said turds for his cannabis crop. New "skunk" weed invented.
Lead Driver
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 6,840
Likes: 4,131
From: Jacksonville
^^ Has pet orangutan as a support animal. Teaches him how to roll joints and change the tv channels. Pretty soon, has orangutan doing so much his muscles atrophy and he can hardly get out of his reclining lawn chair in living room. Has slop bucket by his chair, but the orangutan has standards and refuses to empty. Manages to crawl to VCR and plugs in Richard Simmons "Sweating to the Oldies" VHS tape. Manages to rehab enough to empty bucket and begin to shovel out living room. Just barely dodged being the subject of "Intervention" episode.
Hotshot
Joined: Jan 2021
Posts: 10,873
Likes: 2,761
^Starts a new show called "turd hoarder", which is very deep and ratings go down the pipe so to speak even though exlax is a sponsor. Sells off excess turdage as dinosaur dung & eventually hits the jackpot. Goes to Vegas where he spends his winnings on cheap women and Cuban cigars. Failed to differentiate from his suitcase of cigars and turds, smoked his Merchandise & now back to living in a Georgia tent revival compound.
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Fleet Owner
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 26,155
Likes: 4,149
From: Near Cal. Avenue
^Colors his hand Canons with White and red plastic molded hand grips and then drops them into cold water, says tempering them is cool and also His Brother in law the Sheriff helps em !
Lead Driver
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 6,840
Likes: 4,131
From: Jacksonville
^^ Attends tranny night at local head shop in SF. Gets munchies and stops by Arby's for snacks. Partakes on the way home and passes out in bed w/ several other revelers. Sometime in the middle of the night, still in a fog, he has a flashback to an Easter egg hunt from his youth. Conflicting timelines in his brain conflict w/ neurosensory functions and he has an other-worldly like experience when he reaches for what he thinks is an Arb's roast beef in an Easter basket from his youth. Gets slapped back to reality by owner of said "basket" and realizes he left the bag of food on the hood of the truck. Goes outside and the cats have already gorged on the Arby's so he has to settle for some biscuits w/ mustard as he watches Sling Blade. Sharpens lawn mower blade in preparation. To be continued......
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Fleet Owner
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 26,155
Likes: 4,149
From: Near Cal. Avenue
^looses his mind track and drinks raw eggs minus the yoke ! Leaves yokes dry, harden, cures them in a Forman grill and grinds them in a blender adding Clay to get the darndest color lil statues o stuff !
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Lead Driver
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 6,840
Likes: 4,131
From: Jacksonville
^^ Uses his old toenail clippings for guitar pick. Plays "Barney" theme song through his LesPaulStratTeleSG conglomeration he rigged up. Resulting noise causes neighbors cats to go into heat and their wailing triggers neighborhood outcry for peace. Gathers up cats in his truck cab but forgot their condition and has to get his velvet seat covers dry cleaned. Cats also destroy little ***** hanging from interior windshield trim. Gets po's & dumps cats at friend's massage parlor. Wailing cats draw attention of passing vice cop and he thinks the noise is a result of happy endings on the parlor. Investigation ensues and owner is busted for links to the Rainbow Mafia. Ensuing investigation reveals him (subject of this post) to be a Capo in this very organization. Goes into hiding to prevent being "hit" by Rainbow Mafia. These particular hits take time to carry out completely due to death coming via STD....
Lead Driver
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 6,840
Likes: 4,131
From: Jacksonville
^^ Spent the night w/ friend who moonlights as a transvestite vampire. Makes him wear football mouthpiece to prevent any unauthorized withdrawals. Went to roller skating rink and laid belly down on skateboard while vampire buddy pushed him around by sticking a broomstick in centralized area. Called it their "push broom imitation." Said they were doing an artistic impersonation and therefore it was legal. After all, it is California. Left roller rink after numerous splinters made performing any more unbearable. didn't have enough money left to get drunk or buy a bag, so they went to the coin laundry and took turns in the dryer and got buzzed that way. Staggered home and went to bed watching old Gunsmoke re-runs. Says he has a thing for miss Kitty.
Hotshot
Joined: Jan 2021
Posts: 10,873
Likes: 2,761
^ never taught his kid to walk. Instead, placed him on a skateboard & fed him sliders for self propulsion. Little pt never rode a bus to school, he always got there on his own with his Miss Kitty lunchbox packed with a days worth of sliders. It was great for all except for the ripe pollution and high quantity of underwear blowouts.
Lead Driver
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 6,840
Likes: 4,131
From: Jacksonville
^^ Waking up from a particularly memorable night of debauchery notices there are orange stripes on the sheets, headboard, and wall. Though it was a disgruntled customer, errrrr, partner graffitiing his room. Upon further inspection, notices empty bag of Cheetos and looks in mirror and notices he has orange Cheeto dust all over his face..... no, it wasn't Chester the Cheetah....