The Safe for GNAC Joke Thread!!!
More Turbo
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 610
Likes: 8
This one isn't a joke, but a true story. I had to paraphrase some of the quotes, but the actual event and what this guy said actually happened!
My Dad's friend was in Canada on business. As he was driving, he thought he was doing everything right, but, nonetheless, was pulled over by a police officer.
"Sir, do you know how fast you were going?"
"Yeah, 65. That's the speed limit, isn't it?"
"Yes, but you were doing well over that."
"But I was doing exactly the speed limit, officer!!"
Noticing the American accent, the police officer asked him;
"Sir, do you know what 'KPH' on those signs means?"
"Sure I do. Kanadian miles Per Hour!!"
My Dad's friend was in Canada on business. As he was driving, he thought he was doing everything right, but, nonetheless, was pulled over by a police officer.
"Sir, do you know how fast you were going?"
"Yeah, 65. That's the speed limit, isn't it?"
"Yes, but you were doing well over that."
"But I was doing exactly the speed limit, officer!!"
Noticing the American accent, the police officer asked him;
"Sir, do you know what 'KPH' on those signs means?"
"Sure I do. Kanadian miles Per Hour!!"
Moderator
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 158,421
Likes: 11,986
From: Greenfield, MA
Stolen shamelessly from the pages of Reader's Digest...
While in surgery following a heart attack, a middle-aged woman sees a vision of God by her bedside.
"Will I die?" she asks.
God says, "No. You have 30 more years to live."
With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it. So while in the hospital, she gets breast implants, liposuction, a tummy tuck, hair transplants, and collagen injected into her lips. She looks great!!!
The day she's discharged, she exits the hospital with a swagger, crosses the street, and is immediately hit by an ambulance and killed.
Up in heaven, she sees God. "You said I had 30 more years to live!!!"
"that's true," says God.
"So what happened?"
God shrugs. "I didn't recognize you."
While in surgery following a heart attack, a middle-aged woman sees a vision of God by her bedside.
"Will I die?" she asks.
God says, "No. You have 30 more years to live."
With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it. So while in the hospital, she gets breast implants, liposuction, a tummy tuck, hair transplants, and collagen injected into her lips. She looks great!!!
The day she's discharged, she exits the hospital with a swagger, crosses the street, and is immediately hit by an ambulance and killed.
Up in heaven, she sees God. "You said I had 30 more years to live!!!"
"that's true," says God.
"So what happened?"
God shrugs. "I didn't recognize you."
Cargo Master
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 2,196
Likes: 120
From: Carstairs Alberta
My friend has a first or 2nd year 6.7. we were towing my 05 cclb with the truck camper in back from Montana when the trailer blew a tire. truck was probably 10500 plus the trailer itself. That little factory jack LIFTED THAT TRAILER WITH NO EFFORT AT ALL! Nothing wrong with it. Get over yourself and trying to fix what aint broke
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Super Moderator
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 29,380
Likes: 118
From: Central Coast of CA
My friend has a first or 2nd year 6.7. we were towing my 05 cclb with the truck camper in back from Montana when the trailer blew a tire. truck was probably 10500 plus the trailer itself. That little factory jack LIFTED THAT TRAILER WITH NO EFFORT AT ALL! Nothing wrong with it. Get over yourself and trying to fix what aint broke
What's the punch line?
Stewart
Posting Guru
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,229
Likes: 2
From: Oregon
New Ford Truck Seats :)
I stopped by the Ford Dealership yesterday, for a look at the new 2019F-150 aluminum pickup.
Just for fun, I took it out for a test drive
I wanted to sense that new truck "feel" before they become old.
The salesperson (a nice looking lady wearing a “RESIST” lapel pin)
sat in the passenger seat next to me, describing the truck and all its
"wonderful" options.
The seats were of particular interest.
She explained that the seats directed warm air to your butt in the winter and
directed cool air to your butt in the summer heat.
Feeling like messing with her, I mentioned that this must be a
CONSERVATIVE truck.
Looking a bit angry, she asked why I thought it was a CONSERVATIVE
truck.
"I explained that if it were a LIBERAL truck, the seats would just
blow smoke up your *** year-round!"
I had to walk back to the dealership but it was worth it.
