Where can I get one of those horns, Pat?

 

Pat couldn't find one either. He just installed his automatic shotgun under the hood of his truck, rigged up a little solenoid to pull the trigger which is activated by the horn circuit.

 

And it works like a charm!!LOL

 

The store keeps calling me to come back and buy more bedroom furniture, but all I really wanted was one night stand.

 

 

so tell the truth Ken, did that young man offer to buy you a second set of teeth???

 

My boss texted me, "Send me one of your funny jokes."


I replied, "I'm working at the moment, I will send you one later."


He replied, "That was fantastic, send me another one."

 

I can relate to this as teeth are expensive as hell.
Especially if ya have to pay for all the emergency
dental work as well. I had to buy a complete set
for the Ex the Judge said.

 

Rich, iffn ya haddena knocked the real ones out with that baseball bat, ya wouldna had ta buy the fake ones!!!

 

I'm not tellin'!!!

 

 

For all those guys that have trouble trying to remember what those little icons mean

 

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day.

He inquired, "Where have you been?"

God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds,
"Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused."

God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor.

Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things." God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?"

"That's Texas, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and plains. The people from Texas are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, humorous, but proud and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance."

God smiled, "I will create Washington, DC. Wait until you see the fools I put there."

 

Some emails are more dangerous than others!

 

Truly, this is my idea of a fun run!