i like your thread no matter how side tracked it gets akex, still a epic thread.

 

Now we're going to start hurting feelings if we keep this up. I don't think any thread here belongs to any one person. I might start a thread, but it isn't mine. And I can not say who can post in it and who can't. I can't even dictate the content once I post a thread.

Furthermore, a person can only post so many pictues of the same Excursion, or repeated videos of an Excursion traveling a snow covered road before they all start getting downright boring.

Live, and let live. If somebody wants to post something, By God post it! I'll go first.....

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR to all !!!!

 

Oh lordy, bring back the jokes Sheriff!

Happy

A woman walks up to an old man sitting in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help but notice how happy you look," she said.
"What's your secret for a long, happy life?"
"I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of beer, eat fatty foods, and never, ever exercise," he replied.
"Wow, that's amazing," she said, "How old are you?"
"Twenty-six."

 

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and
gently tapped him of the shoulder to get his attention.

The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up
over the curb and stopped just inches from a ...large plate glass window.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab. Then, the shaking driver
said "are you OK? I'm so sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me..."

The badly shaken passenger apologized to the driver and said "I didn't
realize that a mere tap on the shoulder would startle someone so badly."

The driver replied, "No, no, I'm the one who is sorry, it's entirely my fault,
today is my very first day driving a cab. Prior to this I had been driving a
hearse for 25 years..."

 

An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years.
He had a large pond in the back.

It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables,
horseshoe courts, and some orange, and lime trees. One evening the old
farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while,
and look it over.

He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the
pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer,
he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep
end. One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you
leave!'

The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim,
see you naked, or make you get out of the pond naked"... holding the bucket
up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."

 

oh well, we're on a roll...

What does a woman want?

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom.

The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch
offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question.

Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he
would be put to death.

The question?....What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most
knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was
better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise
men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a
satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she e
would have the answer. But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout
the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged. The last day of the year arrived and
Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he
would have to agree to her price first.

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round
Table and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked
and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc.
He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force
his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the
proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to
Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's ques tion thus:
What a woman really wants, she answered....is to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and
that Arthur's life would be spared.

And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot
and the witch had a wonderful wedding. The honeymoon hour approached and
Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a
sight awaited him.

The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded
Lancelot asked what had happened The beauty replied that since he had been so kind
to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed
self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half. Which would he prefer?
Beautiful during the day....or night?

Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to
his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer
having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to
enjoy wondrous intimate moments?

What would YOU do?

What Lancelot chose is below. BUT....make YOUR choice before you scroll down
below. OKAY?................












Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself. Upon
hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because
he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

Now....what is the moral to this story? Scroll down..............













The moral is.....If you don't let a woman have her own way....Things are going to get ugly!

 

A very old man lay dying in his bed. In death's doorway, he suddenly smelled
the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookie wafting up the stairs.

He gathered his remaining strength and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning
against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even
greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both
hands.

With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen.

Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven.

There, spread out on newspapers on the kitchen table were literally hundreds
of his favorite chocolate chip cookies.

Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife,
seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table. The aged
and withered hand, shaking, made its way to a cookie at the edge of the
table, when he was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife.

"Stay out of those," she said, "They're for the funeral."

 

we got the jokes! official AKEX fte joke thread! woo hoo

 

typical BS, i'll just ask that this is locked. the POINT of the thread is the adventures i take it on...apparently that has gone over some peoples heads clearly. hijack someone elses thread.

 

come on please just post some more pictures.

 

A woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services,
when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the act of
robbing her home of its valuables and yelled: 'Stop! Acts 2:38!'
(Repent and be Baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ, so that your sins may be forgiven.)

The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police
and explained what she had done.

As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar: "'Why did
you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you!"

"Scripture?" replied the burglar, "She said she had an Ax and Two 38s!"

 

Locked until myself or Stewart can clean it up.