Notices
Excursion - King of SUVs 2000 - 2005 Ford Excursion
Sponsored by:
Sponsored by:

Alaskan Excursion Update - Adventure post...

Thread Tools
 
Search this Thread
 
Old Dec 16, 2011 | 11:38 PM
  #871  
wpnaes's Avatar
wpnaes
FTE Chapter Leader
15 Year Member
Photogenic
Liked
Loved
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 30,593
Likes: 1,236
From: N. IL
Keep the jokes (I mean real stories) comin' Sheriff!
 
Old Dec 17, 2011 | 08:48 AM
  #872  
VaSheriff's Avatar
VaSheriff
Postmaster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,632
Likes: 4
Originally Posted by wpnaes
Keep the jokes (I mean real stories) comin' Sheriff!

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.

She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching.

For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then, one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return.

Two o'clock and no hired hand.

Finally, he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow
sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her..


"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.


Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my Boots."


He did as she asked, ever so slowly.. "Now take off my Socks."

He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her Boots.

"Now take off my skirt."

He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

"Now take off my bra.." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."




 
Old Dec 17, 2011 | 09:20 AM
  #873  
fordboy67's Avatar
fordboy67
Cargo Master
15 Year Member
Liked
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 2,822
Likes: 0
From: Minnesota
Good stuff! We may need to start a joke thread!
 
Old Dec 17, 2011 | 11:51 AM
  #874  
VaSheriff's Avatar
VaSheriff
Postmaster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,632
Likes: 4
I was in my back yard trying to launch a kite.

I threw the kite up in the air, the wind would catch it for a few
seconds, then it would come crashing back down to earth.

I tried this a few more times with no success.

All the while, my wife was watching from the kitchen window,
muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything.

She opens the window and yelled to me,
"You need a piece of tail."

I turned with a confused look on my face and yelled back,
"Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite!"
 
Old Dec 17, 2011 | 07:42 PM
  #875  
AlaskanEx's Avatar
AlaskanEx
Thread Starter
|
Bleed Ford Blue
15 Year Member
Liked
Loved
Community Favorite
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 13,578
Likes: 157
From: Anchorage Alaska
Club FTE Silver Member

yeah why dont we do the jokes somewhere else?


to flip the tails you have to cut a few tabs off and then swap them left to right. very easy and updates the look IMO like the '08-up superdutys with the reverse lights on top.
 
Old Dec 17, 2011 | 07:44 PM
  #876  
acf6's Avatar
acf6
Post Fiend
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 13,710
Likes: 5
From: Manchester, CT
Club FTE Silver Member

Originally Posted by AlaskanEx
yeah why dont we do the jokes somewhere else?

+1. there are already joke threads.
 
Old Dec 17, 2011 | 08:08 PM
  #877  
Skip1970's Avatar
Skip1970
Hotshot
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 15,014
Likes: 35
From: Semper Fi tell I die!
hey them some good jokes you gotta admit it AKEX! plus i admire VASHERRIF for trying to lighten your mood, since all the hardships you been thru lately. A+ to sherrfi!
 
Old Dec 17, 2011 | 08:23 PM
  #878  
cbradford's Avatar
cbradford
Fleet Owner
15 Year Member
Photogenic
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 20,634
Likes: 37
From: Lost in Pa.
Club FTE Silver Member

Must rename to Joke Thread!
 
FTE Stories

Ford Trucks for Ford Truck Enthusiasts

story-0

Top 10 Most Expensive Ford Trucks Ever Sold on Bring a Trailer

 Joe Kucinski
story-1

2027 Ford Super Duty Buyer's Guide (Every Model, Engine, & Package)

 Brett Foote
story-2

Top 10 Ford Truck Tragedies

 Joe Kucinski
story-3

AEV FXL Super Duty - the Super Duty Raptor Ford Doesn't Make

 Brett Foote
story-4

Lobo Vs Lobo: Proof the F-150 Lobo Should Be Even Lower!

 Michael S. Palmer
story-5

Ford's 2001 Explorer Sportsman Concept Looks For a New Home

 Verdad Gallardo
story-6

10 Best Ford Truck Engines We Miss the Most!

 Joe Kucinski
story-7

2026 Shelby F-150 Off-Road: Better Than a Raptor R?

 Brett Foote
story-8

2027 Super Duty Carhartt Package First Look: 12 Things You NEED to Know!

 Michael S. Palmer
story-9

10 Most Surprising 2026 Ford Truck Features!

 Joe Kucinski
Old Dec 17, 2011 | 10:15 PM
  #879  
VaSheriff's Avatar
VaSheriff
Postmaster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,632
Likes: 4
Originally Posted by b-uno
hey them some good jokes you gotta admit it AKEX! plus i admire VASHERRIF for trying to lighten your mood, since all the hardships you been thru lately. A+ to sherrfi!
Well, I'm glad my intent didn't go over everybody's head.

He can have his thread back now since he's returned.
 
Old Dec 17, 2011 | 11:51 PM
  #880  
LivingLarge's Avatar
LivingLarge
Post Fiend
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 26,410
Likes: 6
From: Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Originally Posted by AlaskanEx
yeah why dont we do the jokes somewhere else?


to flip the tails you have to cut a few tabs off and then swap them left to right. very easy and updates the look IMO like the '08-up superdutys with the reverse lights on top.
Welcome back, now you need to get back to excursion/snow pics!
 
Old Dec 18, 2011 | 03:04 AM
  #881  
AlaskanEx's Avatar
AlaskanEx
Thread Starter
|
Bleed Ford Blue
15 Year Member
Liked
Loved
Community Favorite
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 13,578
Likes: 157
From: Anchorage Alaska
Club FTE Silver Member

no VA thank you i got it. but i didnt want it to go on for pages and pages.

hope to get some pics going. not doing much other then driving right now but hopefully this will change soon.
 
Old Dec 19, 2011 | 04:04 PM
  #882  
Skip1970's Avatar
Skip1970
Hotshot
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 15,014
Likes: 35
From: Semper Fi tell I die!
Originally Posted by AlaskanEx
no VA thank you i got it. but i didnt want it to go on for pages and pages.

hope to get some pics going. not doing much other then driving right now but hopefully this will change soon.

well to be honest we aint got much snow left in anchorage alaska it melted allot and all we have is uglyness and ice.
 
Old Dec 19, 2011 | 06:25 PM
  #883  
LivingLarge's Avatar
LivingLarge
Post Fiend
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 26,410
Likes: 6
From: Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Originally Posted by b-uno
well to be honest we aint got much snow left in anchorage alaska it melted allot and all we have is uglyness and ice.

What do you mean NO Snow, Go get some! Its Alaska in December!
 
Old Dec 19, 2011 | 10:03 PM
  #884  
EXv10's Avatar
EXv10
Post Fiend
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 11,798
Likes: 14
From: Mt. Shasta California
Originally Posted by AlaskanEx
no VA thank you i got it. but i didnt want it to go on for pages and pages.

hope to get some pics going. not doing much other then driving right now but hopefully this will change soon.
Pages and pages? hmmm kinda reminds me of the Pen Pal rapport you had going. What did you have for breakfast ..... sounds good......nice day here ......yep, nice here too ...... tired today ...... howcome.............................
 
Old Dec 19, 2011 | 10:20 PM
  #885  
AlaskanEx's Avatar
AlaskanEx
Thread Starter
|
Bleed Ford Blue
15 Year Member
Liked
Loved
Community Favorite
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 13,578
Likes: 157
From: Anchorage Alaska
Club FTE Silver Member

Originally Posted by EXv10
Pages and pages? hmmm kinda reminds me of the Pen Pal rapport you had going. What did you have for breakfast ..... sounds good......nice day here ......yep, nice here too ...... tired today ...... howcome.............................


and you know the difference? its my thread!
 



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:12 AM.

story-0
Top 10 Most Expensive Ford Trucks Ever Sold on Bring a Trailer

Slideshow: 10 most expensive Ford trucks ever sold on Bring a Trailer.

By Joe Kucinski | 2026-05-27 16:24:34


VIEW MORE
story-1
2027 Ford Super Duty Buyer's Guide (Every Model, Engine, & Package)

Here's everything that has changed for the latest model year.

By Brett Foote | 2026-05-27 16:17:28


VIEW MORE
story-2
Top 10 Ford Truck Tragedies

Slideshow: Top 10 Ford truck tragedies.

By Joe Kucinski | 2026-05-18 19:34:33


VIEW MORE
story-3
AEV FXL Super Duty - the Super Duty Raptor Ford Doesn't Make

And it might be even better than that.

By Brett Foote | 2026-05-18 19:26:42


VIEW MORE
story-4
Lobo Vs Lobo: Proof the F-150 Lobo Should Be Even Lower!

Slideshow: Does lowering an F-150 Lobo RUIN the ride quality?

By Michael S. Palmer | 2026-05-18 19:20:37


VIEW MORE
story-5
Ford's 2001 Explorer Sportsman Concept Looks For a New Home

Slideshow: Ford's bizarre fishing-themed Explorer concept has resurfaced after spending decades largely forgotten.

By Verdad Gallardo | 2026-05-12 18:07:46


VIEW MORE
story-6
10 Best Ford Truck Engines We Miss the Most!

Slideshow: The 10 best Ford truck engines we miss the most.

By Joe Kucinski | 2026-05-12 13:09:47


VIEW MORE
story-7
2026 Shelby F-150 Off-Road: Better Than a Raptor R?

Slideshow: first look at the 810 hp 2026 Shelby F-150 Off-Road!

By Brett Foote | 2026-05-12 12:50:07


VIEW MORE
story-8
2027 Super Duty Carhartt Package First Look: 12 Things You NEED to Know!

Slideshow: Everything You Need to Know about the 2027 Super Duty Carhartt Package!

By Michael S. Palmer | 2026-05-07 17:51:06


VIEW MORE
story-9
10 Most Surprising 2026 Ford Truck Features!

Slideshow: 10 most surprising Ford truck options/features in 2026.

By Joe Kucinski | 2026-05-05 11:17:22


VIEW MORE