I wasn't blaming you. Lol

Very nice example by the way. But I think you could give it more back story.

 

Call me Apocalypse. Some years ago- never mind how long precisely-I bought an Excursion having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world. It is a way I have of driving off the spleen and regulating the circulation. Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people's hats off- then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can. This is my substitute for pistol and ball. With a philosophical flourish Cato throws himself upon his sword; I quietly take to the ship. There is nothing surprising in this. If they but knew it, almost all men in their degree, some time or other, cherish very nearly the same feelings towards the ocean with me.
There now is your insular city of the Manhattoes, belted round by wharves as Indian isles by coral reefs- commerce surrounds it with her surf. Right and left, the streets take you waterward...



Shall I go on?

 

You know you drive an Excursion when find it easier to just buy the gas station.

 

I dub thee King of the run-on sentence. :-P Also, that was quiet poetic. I think you would get along well with late early 1900's speech writers

You may continue.

You know you drive an excursion when use 'a philosophical flourish Cato' in a sentence to describe your back story." I can't tell if this is a metaphor for religious oppression, or food manipulation with GMO's.

 

You know you drive an Excursion when the high school your kid goes to depends on it to be the "team bus" to get them to and from matches.

 

You know you drive an Excursion when oncoming traffic moves to the right side of the road when you are coming towards them.

 

You know you made the best decision in upgrading to a 4wd 04 excursion when someone follows you for 2 miles to a Fastenal store and talks to you for 20 minutes about how much he likes your Excursion. How much they love them and how nice the black wheels look. Wondered how big of a lift I put on it, and what all I had done to it. The guy was acting like I was driving LivingLarges truck and he was in a yugo... Turns out I was in my 04 and he was in.... wait for it.... A BRAND NEW DODGE 4 DOOR DIESEL!!! He liked my EX more than his BRAND NEW TRUCK!

 

It's Excursion envy and Ford jealousy.

 

I haven't been followed since my tuner days and I was pimping my focus and ******* on civics... it was the best feeling I've had in a loooooooooong time.

 

You know you drive an X when you look in the mirror and don't see a box with a topper on it.

 

You get excited that you fit in a garage but then remember that you can't open the back doors because the glass comes up to high.

 

The dude in the McDonald's drive through compliments you on your truck.

"You don't see those around, nice truck"

There are almost no Exs up this way. And being diesel I really stand out. No other half ton diesel SUVs around

 

I pulled up to a license check and the cop said "Wow, diesel Excursion, you don't see many of those"

 

Last time I was in Quebec City, it was quite rare to see anything larger than a minivan.

 

Last time I drove thru Hollywood florida, (February) I thought I was in Quebec City!

The Quebecians are taking over lol