I think it comes down to your definition of "cheating", wether it be the actual physical part, or just the thought of it.

I personally stand divided on wether chat rooms and such, considered cheating.

Really comes down to where the line is drawn in the sand...

 

During my military career, i had ample oportunity to be promiscuous. I resisted that temptation, as I have resisted every temptation since then. It is not that I am a saint, I just do not want to hurt my family, for a few fleeting moments with a woman I should not want to know.

Theo

 

I agree with waxy's post. According to the Bible I am guilty almost every day, because an atractive woman can still turn my head. The sin starts as a thought, but really doesn't turn into a sin until you act upon that thought. Well I quit feeling gulity about it, pretty much. I agree with waxy about us having an inhereant desire for a harem. Maybe this is an instinct that kept civilizations going when almost the whole male population would get wiped out in a war or for some other reason.
But down to the nuts and bolts. I have been married twice and the second one is almost over. I wouldn't have entered in to either if I hadn't thought I could do the time. Would I have actually been able to resist if an attractive co-worker or other female aquantence put the moves on me, maybe not.

 

As with most men a good looking girl can turn my head but thats about it. I already have everything I need and want. Love is something much better than a fling can bring you.

I have been cheated on before and I don't like the emotional pain that it brings and I will never inflict that on another. When I was single and looking I wouldn't even pursue a girl that wasn't single either. I respect that she belongs to someone else, even if she was hitting on me. I'd like to think other guys would have the same respect for me but I know I'm dreaming for the most part.

I am commited to my girl 110%. I would never do wrong by her. And I expect the same in return.

I also can't fathom how someone can allow another to come back to them after they have cheated. A relationship is built on trust and once it's broken it can never be repaired to what it was before. If I ever have to deal with that in a marrige its over. I just can't do it. Especially since they showed no reguard for what we had or for me.

 

Honda, while I would agree with you, unfortunately I can't. Me and my gal had dated for a while, I messed up, made out with one of her friends, we broke up for over a year, I went into the military, came home on leave, she was dating a guy she had previously dated before me. Well, my gal was stayin over at my aprents house, she is friends with my sister, and we got to talking and voila, back together.....she broke up with her b/f at the time the next day....been happy ever since, and while a pretty girl can turn my head, nothing more than that has happened.

 

Well, this may sound prudent but it isn't wise to put yourself in situations where something could happen. Married people shouldn't spend time alone with members of the opposite sex. Even peopel with the best intentions have fallen in those situations. Not everyone has the same will power to resist when that chemical reaction that causes sex drive , kicks in. You may be niave to what the stimuli for you actually is. Maybe it is her perfume, a little innocent flirting and one thing leads to another before you know it. I have tried to get this point across to my teenage stepdaughter. Once the stimuli has begun and the chemicals are released in a mans brain, or whatever actually happens, anyway you have now got a male that the mating process is in progress and common sense or will power may have momentarily gone out the window and then things happen that are over very quickly with only guilt and remorse left.

 

Then women are like art in a museum, ok to look but don't touch. I believe men are drawn to the biological need to propogate his DNA to the fullest extent possible. Thats why men and women cannot be friends in the same manner as a straight man and another straight man can. The whole sex thing will eventually come to the surface. Because whether a man wants to admit it or not every time he see's a different woman the thought of whether he would have sex with her crosses his mind. It's will power and social constraints that prevent the impulse behavior.

 

<giggle> I can see this is a polished explanation. Polished from use!

I really feel for the men with daughters! (I have one too - but grown). I always felt like the Wolfman trying to talk to mine.

it was like; I'm not this way now (heck, I'm your *Daddy*!) - but - FEAR ME, AND ALL THOSE LIKE ME !!

I developed a three page application for those wanting to date my daughter. The second question (after what is your social security number) is:

"In the event you return _______ an hour after curfew, would you like your remains cremated or buried out in the woods conventionally?"

Hey, it worked! She didn't start having babies until she was out-o-de house!! . . . now, she has 4 of them

 

hey fuzzy, email me that quistioner please

 

So do we call you grandpa now? Ha ha


Anyway ... I think all men are tempted. Whether we act on the temptation is another thing. When I was single, (man I miss those times) I was ... well, you get the idea. But if I am serious with someone, I am totally devoted to her. No screwing around.

But I'm not wearing blinders. I've been busted many times. Every summer, down on the beach ... if I were single for just one day ...

 

Sure. But I won't answer to it. It's like I said earlier; I may have to get old, but I ~never~ have to stop being immature!

If you were single for just one day in that scenario, you would probably regret it for years.

 

Yeah, but think how much fun it would be!

 

I have been in Korea for almost a year now. Never cheated on the wife. This is how I see it. If my wife can't trust me how is anybody else going to? I hear people making excuses all the time about why cheating is not such a bad thing. The only people they are fooling is themselves. I know if I had a troop cheating on his wife I wouldn't be able to trust him. Why should I expect him to give me more respect than the woman he chose to spend the rest of thier life with? That would be foolish on my part. Do I spend everyday happy with the wife? Not hardly, but there is no excuse for cheating. Do I look at other women? I'm not dead!

 

(Other Bower here)
Sorry to barge in guys, but I read your posts and must say I'm impressed with you all. I agree with a lot of what was written here, especially about cheating being a serious breach of trust. I have been cheated on and would never consider going back to those men; if they have that little respect for me, I don't want them anyway. I also had a hard time blaming the other woman, she may have been a hot temptress but ultimately the man agreed to the deed.

I also realize men have primal instincts. I don't care if my husband stares at other women, in fact I'd be worried if he didn't. In his job he has been in several situations where customers have propositioned him, shown up nude at the door, or tried to hook him up with their daughters. He tells me this when he gets home and we laugh about it, because we trust each other and know that a fling isn't anywhere near as good as what we've got.

The chat room/porno/stripclub thing can be a fine line. We have a deal. If he decides he wants to go to a stripclub, I get to go with him. We both have fun. I subscribe to Playboy (for the articles, natch) and he gets to "read" it, but I don't want trash **** in the house. He reads that at work and leaves it there. And as far as chat rooms, neither one of us can type that fast, so we both stick to FTE.

Based on prior relationships, I would have been inclined to label all men cheaters, but after meeting my husband (and reading some of your posts here) I'll have to vote no.