In love, women are professionals, men are amateurs.
— FRANCOIS TRUFFAUT

When a man and a woman die, as poets sung, His heart's the last part moves, her last, the tongue.
— BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

A woman's guess is much more accurate than a man's certainty.
— OSCAR WILDE

All men laugh at the Three Stooges and all women think that the Three Stooges are #####s.
— JAY LENO

Of the two lots, the woman's lot of perpetual motherhood, and the man's of perpetual babyhood, I prefer the man's.
— GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.
— ELAYNE BOOSLER

Men play the game; women know the score.
— ROGER WODDIS

Women eat while they are talking; men talk while they are eating.
— MALCOLM DE CHAZAL

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
— LANA TURNER

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
— ZSAZSAGABOR

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
— JOHNNY CARSON

It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.
— BENJAMIN DISRAELI

I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
— LEWIS GRIZZARD

I married beneath me — all women do.
— NANCY ASTOR

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows — marriage does.
— GROUCHO MARX

When you consider what chance women have to poison their husbands, it's a wonder there isn't more of it done.
— KIN HUBBARD

American women expect to find in their husbands a perfection that English women only hope to find in their butlers.
— W. SOMERSET MAUGHAM

Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them tender.
— MARY BUCKLEY

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
— HELEN ROWLAND

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
— GROUCHO MARX

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
— WOODY ALLEN

My wife doesn't care what I do when I'm away, as long as I don't have a good time.
— LEE TREVINO

Women aren't embarrassed when they buy men's pajamas, but a man buying a nightgown acts as though he were dealing with a dope peddler.
— JIMMY CANNON

No male can beat a female in the long run because they have it over us in sheer, damn longevity.
— JAMES THURBER

Guns don't cause crime any more than spoons cause Rosie O'Donnell to be FAT.
- Unknown

 

AND

There are three rings to marriage:
-the engagement ring
-the wedding ring
-and suffering.


Oh, and my two personal favorites:

"He that has nothing, shall have less. And that which he has, shall be taken from him."
-From the decree of King Begonia. "Flip" Wilson circa 1970?

And, "It is better that the innocent should suffer, than the guilty escape"
-My dad. Referring to my grandmothers idea of justice for himself and siblings. (5 brothers, 3 sisters) If no one 'fessed up, everyone got it. lol.

Chuck

 

And then there's the politicians credo, "You can fool all of the people some of the time; and some of the people all of the time - and that will get you elected.
Dono

 

Confidence is the feeling you get when don't REALLY understand the situation.

Facts are not altered by the intensity of human beliefs nor the number of people who hold them.

- James P Hogan The Code of the Lifemaker



If a tin whistle's made of tin, what do they make foghorns out of?

- Lonnie Donegan

 

"Illegitimis non carborundum. (Don't let the Edited By Administration for Content
grind you down)"
-Gen. Joseph Stilwell

Latin in an everday situation

 

Here goes:

"If you can't stand the heat, then get out of the kitchen"
Harry Truman

"If women dressed for men, they would only wear shoes"
Groucho Marx

"Divorce, the screwing you get for the screwing you got"
Unknown

"The Bill of Rights, Void where prohibited by Law"
Libertarian Party

 

My all time favorite:

"We are not retreating; we are merely advancing in another direction!" -- General MacArthur


Rory

'65 F-250 Camper Special
'68 MGB

 

To the German Commander:

NUTS!!!

The American Commander

 

"The sportsman lives his life vicariously. For he secretly yearns to have lived before, in a simpler time. A time when his love for the land, water, fish and wildlife would be more than just part of his life. It would be his state of mind." Author, Jim Slinsky
[This is my senior year hs quote]

The fishermen's prayer:
"I Pray that I live to fish my last dying day, and when it comes to my last cast, I then most humbly pray, when in the Lords great langing net and peacefully asleep that I be judged big enough to keep." Author, Robert Eppard

"The farmer who opens his land to hunting and fishing should be our friend for life. The farmer who closes his land and pollutes our waters is a threat to our very way of life." Author, Jim Slinsky

"The death of a hunting dog is only made tolerable by the memory of his life." Author, Jim Slinsky

"Laws that forbid the carrying of arms... disarm only those who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crimes." Author, Thomas Jefferson

"Honor is something no one can give you ... and no one can take away. It is a man's gift to himself." the movie "Rob Roy"

"My mind belongs to my work. My heart belongs to my family. My soul belongs to God. But, my inner-self belongs to the woods."

Chris

 

What diminishes a liberty you despise will inevitably diminish a liberty you cherish.
— Tom Gresham

“It is the Soldier who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag.”
Father Dennis Ed O'Brien, USMC

"I believe that forgiving them is God's function. Our job is simply to arrange the meeting."
-General Norman Schwartzkov

And kind of a random one that I like

"Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it."
— Anonymous


JON

 

"If all the trucks in the world were Ford trucks, we could get rid of all the idiots....." - Me

"You're a dork" - my girlfriend

"You may live your life in chains, and not even know you have the key" - the Eagles

 

A few more:

Todays mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.

Families are like fudge, mostly sweet..... with a few nuts.

Be careful what you ask for, you just may get it.

 

Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly.....Superman Costume warning label


Always go to other peoples funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours////Yogi Berra

I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but i don't always agree with them......George W Bush

 

"Definition of a new conservative: a liberal who was robbed or assaulted yesterday." unknown

 

>"Definition of a new conservative: a liberal who was robbed
>or assaulted yesterday." unknown

Unknown? He was too ashamed to own up to it?