A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. While they were walking through the barn, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law, unfortunately killing her instantly.

At the funeral service, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head "yes" and say something. Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, he would shake his head "no" and mumble a reply.

Curious, the pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about. The farmer replied, "The women would say, 'What a terrible tragedy,' and I would nod my head and say, 'Yes, it was.' The men would ask, 'You wanna sell that mule?' and I would shake my head and say, 'Can't. It's all booked up for a year.'"

 

 

Three old guys are out walking.
Rich says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Pat says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Mike says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer...’

 

 

 

I damn near fell off my chair.

 

Obama asks 3 people if they can paint the White House

He asks a Chinese person how much money will he need and he says “3 million dollars. 1 million for the paint, 1 million for the workers and 1 million for me”

He asks a Mexican person how much money will he need and he says “7 million. 2 million for the paint 3 million for the workers and 2 million for me”

He finally asks Hunter Biden who says come here close and so the president comes in close and he whispers “I need 13 million dollars”

Obama asks, “What why so much?”

Hunter says” 5 million for me, 5 million for you and 3 million for the Chinese man."

 

 

That is so very true......lol

 

Brother in law had one correct him when he one that came out to look at a piece of equipment that caught fire on the lot, told him it was a "thermal incident"