Joke thread!!
#168
#171
So, I was walking in the mall and I saw that there was a Muslim Bookstore. The sign outside led me to wonder just what exactly was in a Muslim bookstore, so I went in.
As I was wandering around taking a look, the clerk gave me the evil eye, but asked if he could help me.
I know I didn't look like his normal clientele, so I asked, “Do you have a copy of Donald Trump's Book on his U.S. Immigration policy regarding Muslims and Illegal aliens?”
The clerk said, “Kiss my ***, Get out, and Stay Out!”
I said, “Yes, that's the one. Do you have it in paperback?”
Make America Great Again...
The rain was pouring and there was a big puddle in front of the bar just outside the American Legion Post.
A ragged old Marine sergeant was standing near the edge with a fishing line in the puddle.
A curious young Navy fighter pilot came over to him and asked what he was doing.
"Fishing," the old sergeant simply said.
"Poor old fool," the Navy officer thought to himself, and he invited the old Marine into the bar for a drink.
As he felt he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whiskey, the haughty fighter pilot asked,
"And how many have you caught today?"
"You're number ten" the old Marine sergeant answered. "2Navy, 3 Army and 5 Air Force ."
As I was wandering around taking a look, the clerk gave me the evil eye, but asked if he could help me.
I know I didn't look like his normal clientele, so I asked, “Do you have a copy of Donald Trump's Book on his U.S. Immigration policy regarding Muslims and Illegal aliens?”
The clerk said, “Kiss my ***, Get out, and Stay Out!”
I said, “Yes, that's the one. Do you have it in paperback?”
Make America Great Again...
The rain was pouring and there was a big puddle in front of the bar just outside the American Legion Post.
A ragged old Marine sergeant was standing near the edge with a fishing line in the puddle.
A curious young Navy fighter pilot came over to him and asked what he was doing.
"Fishing," the old sergeant simply said.
"Poor old fool," the Navy officer thought to himself, and he invited the old Marine into the bar for a drink.
As he felt he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whiskey, the haughty fighter pilot asked,
"And how many have you caught today?"
"You're number ten" the old Marine sergeant answered. "2Navy, 3 Army and 5 Air Force ."
#174
#176
#177
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-week strike on Wednesday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.
The unrest began last Tuesday, when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death, would be cut by 25% this February from 72 to 54. A spokesman said increases in recent years in the number of suicide bombings, has resulted in a shortage of virgins in the afterlife.
The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (B.O.O.M) responded with a statement saying the move was unacceptable to its members and called for a strike vote.
General Secretary Abdullah Aloud Bhang told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth".
Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, Al Qaeda chief executive Aisheet Mapants explained, "I sympathize with our workers concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditures or laying people off. I don't like cutting benefits but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up."
Spokespersons for the union in the North East of England, Ireland, Wales and the entire Australian continent stated that the change would not hurt their membership as there are so few virgins in their areas anyway.
According to some industry sources, the recent drop in the number of suicide bombings has been attributed to Rosie O'Donnell; many Muslim Jihadists now know what a virgin looks like and have reconsidered their benefit packages.
The unrest began last Tuesday, when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death, would be cut by 25% this February from 72 to 54. A spokesman said increases in recent years in the number of suicide bombings, has resulted in a shortage of virgins in the afterlife.
The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (B.O.O.M) responded with a statement saying the move was unacceptable to its members and called for a strike vote.
General Secretary Abdullah Aloud Bhang told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth".
Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, Al Qaeda chief executive Aisheet Mapants explained, "I sympathize with our workers concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditures or laying people off. I don't like cutting benefits but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up."
Spokespersons for the union in the North East of England, Ireland, Wales and the entire Australian continent stated that the change would not hurt their membership as there are so few virgins in their areas anyway.
According to some industry sources, the recent drop in the number of suicide bombings has been attributed to Rosie O'Donnell; many Muslim Jihadists now know what a virgin looks like and have reconsidered their benefit packages.
#178
#180