I hear tell that either one of us would probably get arrested...

 

thats if they arrested you first before I had a chance...lol

 

Good evening guys
Something to laugh at


OIL CHANGE INSTRUCTIONS FOR WOMEN:
(1) Pull up to Peak Automotive when it is time for your next oil change
(2) Relax in a massage chair with a glass of wine, soda, coffee, or cappuccino while reading the latest Oprah, Parenting, or Shape Magazine or working on your laptop.
(3) 45 minutes later write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle where the fluids have been topped off, car has been washed, tires rotated, and courtesty inspection completed.

Money Spent
Oil Change: $34.95 (non-synthetic oil change)
Wireless access: FREE
Glass of wine, soda, or coffee: FREE
Courtesy Inspection: FREE
Massage in chair: FREE
Total cost of peace of mind knowing your car is maintained: PEAKFULLY PRICELESS







OIL CHANGE INSTRUCTIONS FOR MEN:
(1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for $50.00
(2) Stop by liquor store and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20.00, drive home.
(3) Open a beer and drink it.
(4) Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands. Jack car up.
(5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
(6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
(7) Place drain pan under engine.
(8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
(9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
(10) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on face and arms in process. Cuss.
(11) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
(12) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
(13) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
(14) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.
(15) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties.
(16)Drink a beer.
(17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Decide to finish oil change tomorrow so you can go see his new garage door opener work.
(18) Sunday: Skip church because "I gotta finish the oil change." Drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car. Cleverly dump oil in hole in back yard instead of taking it to recycle.
(19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.
(20) Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.
(21) Walk to liquor store; buy beer.
(22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.
(23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
(24) Remember drain plug from step 11.
(25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
(26) Remember that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard along with drain plug.
(27) Drink beer.
(28) Shovel out hole and sift oily mud for drain plug. Re-shovel oily patch of ground and avoid environmental penalties. Wash drain plug in lawnmower gas.
(29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.
(30) Drink beer.
(31) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame.
(32) Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31.
(33) Begin cussing fit.
(34) Throw stupid crescent wrench.
(35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December (1992).
(36) Beer.
(37) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
(38) Beer.
(39) Beer.
(40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
(41) Beer.
(42) Lower car from jack stands.
(43) Accidentally crush remaining case of new motor oil.
(44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during steps 23 - 43.
(45) Beer.
(46) Test drive car.
(47) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
(48) Car gets impounded.
(49) Call loving wife, make bail.
(50) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.

Money Spent
Parts: $50.00
DUI: $2500.00
Impound fee: $75.00
Bail: $1500.00
Beer: $40.00
Total: $4165.00 -- But you know the job was done right!
__________________

 

Oh please... you talk big but you know I'm a good kid, Steve. Just ask Edmo.

 

I'm sure he'll agree...lol

 

evening CT, whats up?

 

hey everybody. i have sand in my hair. and a few other places too.

i also started fabbing the step for my dads new truck. his 2 hurt knees need all the help they can get with his new f150.


i am going to powdercoat it black and put 1/4" aluminum diamond plate on the top. also i need to put 2 jacking bolts on it to keep it tight in the hitch, otherwise it will rattle around.

 

that looks pretty good Aaron!

 

There's a slight flaw in your oil change procedure. You can't perform step 21 in CT on sunday. Of course you can always take your wife's car to MA, VT, NH, NY, NJ, RI to get the beer cuz her oil will be fresh and full.

 

spoken like a true drunk!

speaking of wives cars...tomorrow i have to go look at a 2000 VW passat for a beater car. she doesnt want to keep racking up miles on her mustang, especially in the winter, and especially after the cams go in. i am waiting for the SCT SF3 programmer/scanner to show up so i can put them in.

 

ok CT, im off to bed, catch ya later.

 

Good morning folks
Looks like a wet one today.
Keep dry.

 

Got home a little while ago watch out for ice out there. I sure had an interesting ride home

 

Well its a sheet of ice here at the shop. I almost wiped out the side of my 2011 coming throught the gate at the shop, and down the hill. The truck finally stopped and I missed the gate. Now if I can get my hands to stop shaking.

BTW, Morning Everyone.

 

Good morning everyone.

Steve, staying here on Saturday night, and probably Friday as well. Still gotta discuss breakfast plans with Jim before making reservations.

Days Inn East Stroudsburg
150 Seven Bridge Rd, US 209 / I-80 Exit 309, East Stroudsburg, PA, 18301 United States 866-539-0036

http://www.hotels.com/hotel/details....12-19-10&rooms[0].numberOfAdults=2&tab=description&arrivalDate=12-17-10&hotelId=220249&validate=false