Ha, ha! I certainly married way above my pay grade when I finally got it right. Now after damned near 32 years of wedded bliss...she earns to much to shed rid of me .

 

Thank goodness for more equal treatment in splitting community property, alimony and spousal support huh?

NOT wishing that befalls you, just trying for some humor here.

 

Hell yeah! That 50/50 split cuts both ways...She is way past cutting her losses and moving on.


Thank goodness.


...

 

Well then being dug in and not wanting to test the market dating-wise I'd say you're both made for one another!

 

Well, talk about bringing back and old thread! That part of my life has been long gone. We ended up divorced in 2010, over that same issue, along with many other things. I didn't do much to help the situation though. After deployment, I was an impatient person, to say the least. Had zero tolerance for nonsense. Took me a few years to seek help and get to where I want to be. Dated another for almost two years, she ended that one but it wasn't meant to be, and she showed her true colors, which I was thankful for. I think most of the advice was spot on, looking back, I'm 99% sure she did cheat on me while I was deployed, and another time when I was in training after we got married. The incident then, I what got the divorce rolling, initiated by me. I've learned a lot about what I will and won't deal with, learned how to communicate better, and set boundaries.

Now, I'm dating a wonderful woman. She's everything my exes weren't, and although stubborn, the most selfless woman I've ever had the pleasure of calling mine. Major plus...she does marketing for an auto parts warehouse!

 

Ah ha---so now ya get a good discount on stuff huh? Talk about a huge upside---marry this one!

Just kidding but great to know you've bounced back a bit, learned a few very important life lessons in the process. Too often such things are learned only by the doing and whether its seen as good or bad its just about the only way to sort out what we need or want for ourselves in life.

Relationships are exceptionally complicated and while we'd all love them to sail by without too much hassle its just sometimes not possible. Learning to communicate and not setting yourselves too deeply into one mindset, being able and willing to accept one another for how you are instead of how you/we/they think it should be, learning to be one another's best friend have cover one another's sixes is what it takes.

As years go by we learn enough to either avoid or keep making mistakes of the past----that becomes our choice I guess. Its not always easy but its doable by just "persevering, adapting, overcoming......" that which is in our way.

BTW thanks so much for your service----it doesn't go unnoticed!

 

man sorry to hear that!

tought enough getting deployed and only being able to talk 1 time a month !!

when i was in Marines, i refused to date or marry then as i was always living for the moment (survival mode) and didnt want to disappoint anyone if i had been dead or crippled.

 

Most women are insecure because for 99% of human history men were basically savages and women were in constant danger of being raped or abandoned. And it takes more than a few thousand years of technological progress to change basic human nature.


As a man the best way to deal with an insecure woman is set your boundaries and make it clear that this kind of behavior is not acceptable. So don't condone it. Ever. If she doesn't want to lose you she'll shut up about it and if she flies off the handle and breaks up with you then it's probably for the best because she was just trying to control you with that behavior which is another favorite trick of theirs.

 

Xxxxxxxxxx

 

She sounds like a closet control freak psycho. Try having such as your siblings, that's how I learned to spot it. Disowned them both. When my ex-fiancee Trula (dated 2 1/2 years) started acting like my brother does, I gave her a choice: Fix it or I'm ending it NOW! She said she wanted to fix it, but renigged on it a month later. The breakup put me through hell, but it is her loss because she can't keep a decent guy at all now.

Dated another girl, Sierra, for a year, she was good to me but things weren't really moving forward like they should. I finally told her "this needs solved", we gave it a month and nothing got fixed. I ended up breaking up with her right then. Yes, it sucked to have to pull the plug and I'd still talk to her if she wanted to, but there's just no spark there anymore. In truth, it was a rebound relationship and I didn't even know it at the time. Hindsight is 20/20.

Been single ever since breaking up with my ex-girlfriend last September and got no desire to date again. In my eyes, it's a losing game where the odds get worse each time. In economic terms, this is called a "depreciating asset". There are far more important and rewarding things to focus on than chasing poon teases. Time is better spent in the garage.

Know when to hold'em, know when to fold'em and know when to quit playing a game you'll never win and never look back.

 

Tough situation for sure. Hopefully the old addage doesnt apply here.....the one who is accusing blah blah u know the rest. Sucks man. I hope it works out for the best, come home safe and thank u brother

 

I just got married 5 months ago at the age of 22. And let me tell you it hasn't been easy, but she is my best friend and I wouldn't change anything for the world. I am doing this marriage thing once, and only once. I'm still learning things about me I never knew about myself from her and vice versa