I guess its a universal language taught in home ec classes

 

And even if you know the language, you still not going to win!!

 

Can you imagine, should Hillory become president, she tells the Russians, That's Okay

 

Oh, that's not good!!!LOl!

 

These are priceless...

Kids are honest!

Why do we love children?

1) NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"

2) OPINIONS On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."

3) KETCHUP A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."

4) MORE NUDITY A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

5) POLICE # 1 While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"

6) POLICE # 2 It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"

7) ELDERLY While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

8) DRESS-UP A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning. "

9) DEATH While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes."

10) SCHOOL A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!"

11) BIBLE A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"

 

LOL!!!


!!!!

 

Any of you Omaha area guys going to the new car show at the Qwest Center?

I'll be there on Saturday... Had to be in Omaha Friday night, and I'm just spending the night. Hoping they have the 09 F150 on display.

 

I heard they are suppose to have the '09 there. Let us know what you think if it was there Rob. I'd like to get down there, but I have the kids all day, and they would be bored at the show.

 

I changed my mind, decided it wasn't worth going since there isn't much new I'm interested in. I heard from someone that had gone and they said the 09 F150 was on a platform and the general public wasn't allowed near it.

 

Boy that doesnt make sense. Why would would you have a pickup at the auto show an not be able to look at it up close. Doesnt make sense to me.

 

Yeah, that's dumb. Don't want to hurt their precious truck! Whatever.

 

My dad has a rancher grill guard from GO Industries on his Dodge.....let's just say I'm glad I had that when I was coming back from Lincoln yesterday. As I was 3 miles from home someone's dog decided to run out in front of me......now I'm getting one for my Dodge.....gonna be sweet, pics to follow!!!

-Jake

 

Did ya' squish him?? At least it wasn't a deer!! I've thought about getting grill guards on the trucks before.

 

Hello Nebraska...the great state of Western Massachusetts just stopping by to say howdy...I hope all is well !!!

 

Morning Ken! Thanks for stopping by!