I keep hearing abstinence touted as a realistic solution to problems like abortion and too many single mothers living on welfare. However, I'm under the (perhaps misguided) impression that most people do not in fact practice abstinence before they get married.

Hence the poll.

To be clear, a vote for abstinence means that <i>you did not have sex with anyone, ever, before you married your spouse</i>, or <i>have never had sex because you have not yet married</i>.

 

Maybe you shoulda put in something for having sex before marriage, but with only the person you are intending to marrry? I have only slept with two gals, one was a one night stand the night before I enlisted, we were drunk and in New Orleans...the other, I am going to marry....have been together now for some time....and I am the only person she has slept with

 

no sex before marriage, are you crazy?
did you buy a truck without driving it?
did you buy the first truck you looked at?

 

I think you should add
no, I have sex with every drunken female I see.
no, I dont have sex at all but would like to if I werent on this forum posting all the time
if you didnt know the second one is me......LMAO

no offense just messing around.
but you should add another column
no, not married but engage in sex

 

Nope, the abstinence advocates deal in black & white, therefore so does this poll. No gray areas, and absolutely no sex allowed before marriage. And contraceptives are discouraged, because this would encoure sex, right?

Incidentally, this is the official position of the Bush administration:

"The Bush administration's investment in abstinence education should reach a record high of about $120 million this year."
http://tennesseerighttolife.org/news...3262003-01.htm

"America needs to know that the Bush administration is undertaking a systematic, stealth campaign to dismantle our access to family planning and birth control."
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/abo...ol_report.html

It seems that very few people here practice abstinence--as I write this, zero have responded with a yes vote, compared to ten no votes. I've found this to be the case with almost everyone I've known. And it goes without saying that if you don't practice abstinence and you don't use birth control, you're quite likely to get someone (or get) pregnant. Meanwhile, the Bush administration and the religious right are pushing abstinence programs and undermining programs that teach and facilitate birth control.

So again, I ask the question: Is abstinence policy about solving problems like abortion and single mothers on welfare, or is it simply the legislation of particular religious beliefs about sex regardless of the real world consequences?

 

I suppose Bush's daughters just say no

 

We could probably improve the wording of the choices, but there are only two choices. If you were a virgin until you got married or are still a virgin, you practice(d) abstinence. If you are unmarried but have had sex, or are married but had sex before you were married, you did/do not practice abstinence.

No get out of jail cards for drunken one-nighters, either. It's a yes or no question.

 

Well I could answer yes and no. I did sleep with every drunk or sober woman I could in my younger days and slept with my first wife on our first date and then we lived together for a year before we got married. Between wives I got saved, you know the whole born again thing. So I met my secind wife in church and we didn't participate before we got married. I would have to be able to vote both ways to be totally honest.
I am not sure of the Bush administrations motives but abstinence would eliminate a bunch of the social problems mentioned. Also marriages would be built on a more solid foundation in my opinion, if both partners had never been with another person. Pretty rare these days.

 

"Also marriages would be built on a more solid foundation in my opinion, if both partners had never been with another person. Pretty rare these days." willowbilly3

I agree with that. I've been with the one I want to marry for almost 3 years now. She never had a serious boyfriend before me so she had never slept with anyone.

I on the other hand I can't claim that. Wish I could, I really do. I was with 2 other girls before her. Though it never comes up I often wonder if somehow down the road if it will affect our relationship.

 

"no sex before marriage, are you crazy?
did you buy a truck without driving it?
did you buy the first truck you looked at?"

Do you want to walk behind someone in the store and buy the food that they just tasted?
Do you taste the steak you are going to cook standing there in the meat section before you buy it, or do you take it home and invest the time to prepare it? Is it worth investing the time to create a good meal after you take it home so that you can savour every moment of that meal, or do you just eat it right where you stand?
Sex is something that you should take the time to prepare yourself for. If you don't you're cheating yourself and more importantly your partner out of something that should be incredible every time.
This can only be done properly within the bond of marriage.
After 18yrs married, and watching countless marriages fall apart around me due to infidelity, I know the bond that I wanted (the reason I waited) is there.
I may be a minority, but it was worth waiting for.

 

I honestly think the whole thing is bunk.

Teenagers are teenagers. They know the risks. Aren't we supposed to be allowing them freedom to make their own choices (good or bad)?

I'm 21 years old, and I've been dating the same woman for 4 years now (since we were seniors in High School). We've discussed getting married and have most of the logistics worked out (our college graduation dates, my possible comission in the Marines, etc.)

Between health class, MTV, and all those little pamphlets, teens know exactly what's going on.

Somebody's always going to get pregnant.

Somebody's always going to get a disease.

It's the way things go.

If everyone were President of the USA, we wouldn't have any janitors to clean toilets.

Some people will do just fine, and others will screw up. It's life.

XXL

 

I completely disagree with this quote and everything that pyro_thunder_85 had to say.

WB3,

I would propose the OPPOSITE is true, and I would also suggests that the statistics back it up. The marriages most likely to fail are those that were married young and had no previous sexual experience, "highschool sweethearts" if you will.

Sex is a major part of marriage and two issues arrise when 1 or neither partner has experienced it before marriage

1- Incompatibility- sex isn't black and white, it is VERY grey, meeting in the middle can be very difficult.

2- Grass is greener - one or both will always wonder if the grass is greener, that's human nature, and undeniable.

The longest lasting marriages, in this day and age of quickie divorces (more on that later) are between people who have experienced the full spectrum, learned through experience both about themselves and what they want in a partner, and married on that basis.

Pyro - Somtimes going out for dinner is better than your own cooking, even fast food.

Waxy

 

I know why the grass is greener on the other side, when yopu are looking at it at that angle you do not see the dirt under the ground, which gives it a browner appearance...so the grass on the other side DOES look greener.

 

How do you know that Jimmy?

Did someone tell you and you believe them completely

OR

Did you check it out for yourself?

Waxy

 

Someone else mentioned it, and I went and verified, I have checked it out a few times. It is just an illusion cause the grass itself amy or maynot be GREENER, but it appears so even if your grass is the greener of the two but a slight amount :P