^ heard there's a new guy in the hobo camp, so he breaks out his ucake candles for a special occasion. Even opens a new bag of pork rinds in anticipation of meeting the new guy.

 

^ Is getting housing in Hawaii to get 1st hand on site visuals of CSIH shows ! Spends afternoons holding onto a pole on a Wind Sail. The Fat guy cooks stuff to eat and has lots of Brews for later ! The USN blows a lot of horns at him and Seals order a Squad to hold onto the Shore Stuff till Later in the evening when they get off duty !

 

^ comes to visit in Hawaii, wearing his arm floaties, & pool noodles. Expects to go whale watching but the 1000lb. Sisters get jealous. So he's stuck in hotel watching Hawaii five 0 reruns with sisters beaching themselves.

 

^Orders oversized boats for his 1200 # brothers to spend days with my #1000 Sisters. I meanwhile keep cool at the Marina Bar & he is out there somewhere entertaining those guys and Gals o mine. Think Scuba and Spearing fish is next out there ! Thing about Hawaii is you can't get enough of enjoying Beach life nuff !

 

^ decides to try scuba diving himself, on the cheap. He fills his tank with 1000lb. Sisters flatulence to save $$, plus he'll feel at home while he's down deep. The released air from the tanks makes all sea life evacuate the premises, which results in a massive die off. All ocean animals in the area beach themselves in exasperation.

 

^Trains exotic Birds to bite the tails of Kangaroos ! They take it out on him cause he is the Kangaroo trainer. Is a vicious cycle. Him getting the heck kicked out of him them Kangaroos getting a decent meal ! The birds getting the tail ends !

 

^ organizing a concert in hobo camp for the local community in thanks for all the handouts & hand-me-downs. Gathers up whoopee cushions for each and every camp refugee. They partake in a long winded expose of flatulent bliss. It is a sight and sound to behold.

 

^ has the Tuba Section at the High School in mind along with the Kettle Drums and /base section

 

^occasionally pulls the kettle out of the outhouse to make fried chitterlings, nothing like a well seasoned cooking kettle.

 

^Feels victimized by his neighborhood Zombies, they carry baskets of old filthy stinking wool shrouds to wrap their babies in. The newly bitten ones.

 

^ adds to this thread while riding in a flying saucer, where this material comes from, no one knows for sure.

 

^anty's up for his new Lightening. Ford says battery is available soon, 10 years go buy he in the hobo camp with a self charging electric bicycle cranking the crank to recharge it ! Was easy to think pay off of $100,000 in 10 years would be easy.

 

Has hobo engineers make generator for camp by making big hamster wheel and buying a hamster herd to power it. After a couple days he notices the hamsters keep disappearing and when they reappear they have a very repulsive odor and are very afraid of their handlers. Pretty soon hamsters refuse to come out of hiding so he replaces them with possums.

 

^found a hobby horse in his neighborhood dumpster. Gave it a mane wit Tinsel foil saved off Christmas presents at another dump search. Glued it with mixed sour cheese and water. Yep it stinks ! Little kids hit him in the Ballz !

 

^^ Goes for Guinness Book of World Records for largest Dutch oven. Sews 4 tarps together with pieces of slit inner tubes. 6 hours before time t ogo gathers hobo congregation at backyard buffet and commences chow down of beans, sardines in mustard sauce, pickled pigs feet, boiled eggs, and other assorted gastric nightmares washed down by copious amounts of PBR. All designed to instigate turbocharged flatulence in pursuit of the record. As an added motivational tool he has the campfire scene from "Blazing Saddles" playing on a continuous loop. For sanitary purposes they have sewn a bottom onto the tarp so in effect they are in a semi-sealed cocoon. Time for the record. They load up through the entry slit in tarp. Expulsions begin. It sounds like a duel between 2 stroke dirt bikes and chainsaws! Gradually the tarp begins to inflate with the hideous methane expulsions. Someone taps out and goes outside and lights up a joint. Bad decision as the vapors from the funk-clam follows him outside and he inadvertently causes the whole tarp to explode in a mushroom cloud that reaches 50' high. Miraculously no one is severely burnt, just singed eyebrows & hair. Emergency responders are amazed at the lack of carnage as they respond to the scene. All they have to show for the failed effort is singed eyebrows & hair. They rename their camp "Kewpie Doll Camp" because of their new appearance.