^Asks himself why stop and yield signs are at most every intersection as it confuses him ! Think about his mindless question. Does he yield or stop ? Or does his mindless question run! Should he Stop or Yield ? Keeps small body Shop very busy.

 

^ carries his driver training booklet with him, has to pull his bicycle over and look up what each sign means when he encounters one. Has a very short memory thanks to a bad batch of shrooms he had in 5th grade.

 

^^ Likes to eat his ice cream at room temperature after it melts. Sops it up with stale toast. Watches Captain Kangaroo in his whitey tighties with the loose elastic in the legs and Cheeto stains on the centerline, fore and aft. bought used Super Duty seat off another member on this site with the ventilated seats. Hooks it p on the rocker/recliner platform to ventilate his flatulence.

 

^owns the ancient rusted 18 wheeler trailer advertisements sitting in fields business an high winds blow them on their sides every summer !

 

^ won the hobo camp swimsuit contest for most skidmarked speedos. Has them hanging outside his tent to remind everyone who is king skid! His prize was a gold spray painted can of pork & beans, a half pack of lucky strikes & a new (used) pr. Of speedos.

 

^is pissed his Menthol Sigs are classified illegal now ! Maybe the Carbon limits are best met even with its tolls ! He has somethings to say to those ****** but forgot what it is ! They didn't intend to pay any attention to him anyway !

 

^^ Has cure for the menthol ban. takes his lucky Strikes & puts the tobacco in his bong. Takes a hammer & crushes some Tic-Tacs into fine powder. Dumps then in the bong with the Lucky Strike tobacco. Viola, instant menthols! Has idea to package his formula for commercial distribution.

 

^Has Genius extent, Moron intent, was last seen yesterday at a Dollar Store buying pet food for his Monkey !

 

^^ Has dental appointment for cleaning. They're done in 15 minutes. Averages 5 minutes per tooth. Takes him longer to wash the blasting medium out of his mouth than the actual procedure. Leaves dental office and goes to get his colonoscopy. Dr. & team don the haz-mat bio suits and prepare for the worst. Dr. selects re-purposed hydraulic line off Kubota compact track loader as weapon of choice. Dr. runs it up the Hersey Highway and does his duty. Although anesthetized, he's making noises and calling names. Afterwards offers nurse a lucky Strike in the recovery room.

 

^Installs Stalker Camera system in his home and outside. One night the infrared turns on everywhere and not only He and His Lover are published on line to his Web site but also a Cottonmouth wrapped around his out door Stalker system Pole and Camera to keep warm. U.S. Forest system/park system sends him a life time membership in the Save the Cottonmouth Habitat Club and their Uniform dress with ribbons and pins !

 

^^ Drives around on garbage night looking for raccoons in garbage cans. Figures if the 'coons are in there there must be some good stuff in there. Gathers the "food" he took from them and makes a big pot of hobo stew for the commune. Adds some magic mushrooms and the whole tribe is on "trip" without even leaving the compound. Has a couple of "DW's", or designated watchers, to keep the buzzards off them as they lay around the yard passed out. Event is invite only to keep the attendance down since he doesn't get a permit for a large gathering.

 

^Every time he gets a good idea his tummy starts growling. Neighbor Rottweiler has the same idea every time he looks at him thru the fence and him a growling back at it. There is a low survival rate for enemy of Mr. Rottweiler known AKA Butch'y; "the Butcher" Butch'y loves to tear the crap out of stuff 2 ! The smell and noise around these 2 is obnoxious !

 

^Laughs about the Consequences of having to live actuality !

 

^ rereads all his posts & comments on himself. Laughs himself to sleep with his pink panther slippers on. Wakes up to soiled undies & rolls a homegrown.

 

^ sent the following from his 1st Cousin to the Thread !
The aliens studying Earth hold a conference.
Lil Johnny, the keynote speaker stands, and
after welcoming the attendees and
the usual pleasantries, he begins,
"Ladies and gentle male types, I have
for seventy of Earth's massive development years, "applause", Yes, thank you
I have headed a research project and we have studied this planet...
"As you know, our primary research method is to abduct a local sapient and
probe its rectum.
After these many years, and 100's of
millions of rectal probes,
we have definitively learned exactly one thing.
"One in six of our human beings them like it."
Lil Johnny then continues, I also have ended our Committees
that study Human Behavior!
All they do is Argue ! I have concluded with
support from our home planet that we cannot help you
or even agree on a way to change its outcome.
Good luck ladies and
Gentlemen, cause its just too hard !
Lil Johnny leaves by a direct route and
insults the Fat slob at the door.
You should eat less and get a lil exercise !
Order my Lil Johnny exercise DVD at Lil Exercise.com. $59.99
Our Hero Seconded the Adjournment motion !