Favorite One Liner
Posting Guru
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 2,404
Likes: 3
From: Cleveland, WI USA
Favorite One Liner
"...two things in this world I can't stand: people who are intollerant of other peoples culture, and the Dutch."
Michael Caine as Austin Powers' Fa Zha.
"...any problem in life can be solved with the right amount of explosives..."
One of the guys in "Uncommon Valor".
"ya know how when you go to an apartment building and smell what everyone is cookin' on each floor? That, and crap."
Fat Bast$#* in GoldMember
And, almost everything by Monty Python.
K.
Michael Caine as Austin Powers' Fa Zha.
"...any problem in life can be solved with the right amount of explosives..."
One of the guys in "Uncommon Valor".
"ya know how when you go to an apartment building and smell what everyone is cookin' on each floor? That, and crap."
Fat Bast$#* in GoldMember
And, almost everything by Monty Python.
K.
Postmaster
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 3,529
Likes: 1
From: The Star-Club, Hamburg
Favorite One Liner
"This place could'nt be any more "screwed" up if the Department of Agriculture was in charge of it."
From a friend and fellow farmer who works with me loading trucks at our town jobs.
From a friend and fellow farmer who works with me loading trucks at our town jobs.
Tuned
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 266
Likes: 0
From: Jacksboro TN USA
Favorite One Liner
Will Smith: You better back up out of my face before something bad happens to you...(Tommy Lee Jones in Giant Roaches stomach: ***** gun)...Will Smith: Too Late. ~Men In Black
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She looks like she fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!!!
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She looks like she fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!!!
Tuned
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 442
Likes: 0
From: Palmyra
Favorite One Liner
"He's about as sharp as a bowling ball."
"She's so fat if she had to haul **** it'd take her two trips"
and my favorite from the Marx Brothers (ok, actuallly two lines,but real short):
"May I join you?"
"Why, am I falling apart?"
"She's so fat if she had to haul **** it'd take her two trips"
and my favorite from the Marx Brothers (ok, actuallly two lines,but real short):
"May I join you?"
"Why, am I falling apart?"
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Senior User
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 326
Likes: 0
From: Southwest
Favorite One Liner
Pulling into ports I made it a point to get stewed and screwed. Anyway I was in Sydney about a year ago. I was in the red light district (I think it's called Kings Cross) and I was getting drunk in this brothel. I was pretty loaded, way way loaded. This was a few months after 9/11. So I grab this working gal and ask her what she thinks about all of us Americans in her joint. She says, quite loudly "If all Americans are this rude I would have driven a plane into a building myself" So this got all of us fired up and started a brawl. We took that place apart and hauled ***. 12 people (including me) went to Captains Mast over that little incident. Gee I wonder why so much of the world hates Americans? 
Good times in the service.
Good times in the service.
Post Fiend
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 5,860
Likes: 4
From: Metro Detroit (Redford)
Favorite One Liner
"The only thing you need to know about economics is that you don't need to know anything about economics."
---P.J. O'Rourke, commenting on Adam Smith's "Invisible Hand of Economics" in O'Rourke's book, "Eat the Rich: A Treatise On Economics."
Quoted from memory (should be pretty close as I read the line last night).
---P.J. O'Rourke, commenting on Adam Smith's "Invisible Hand of Economics" in O'Rourke's book, "Eat the Rich: A Treatise On Economics."
Quoted from memory (should be pretty close as I read the line last night).
Elder User
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 839
Likes: 0
From: Brooklyn
Favorite One Liner
My Blonde wife: You better not wake up dead tomorrow!
Mark Twain: Life would be infintely happier if we could only be born at age 80, and gradually approach 18.
A banker is a person who lends you an umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back, the minute it starts raining.
Against the assault of laughter, nothing can withstand.
Yogi Berra: It a'int over till it's over.
Jack Nicholson to Helen Hunt, in "As Good As It Gets": She is pleading for just one compliment and he turns and says:
".....You make me want to be a better man."
He says to a woman in the elevator: "Madam, women like you are the reason God made man."
Mark Twain: Life would be infintely happier if we could only be born at age 80, and gradually approach 18.
A banker is a person who lends you an umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back, the minute it starts raining.
Against the assault of laughter, nothing can withstand.
Yogi Berra: It a'int over till it's over.
Jack Nicholson to Helen Hunt, in "As Good As It Gets": She is pleading for just one compliment and he turns and says:
".....You make me want to be a better man."
He says to a woman in the elevator: "Madam, women like you are the reason God made man."
