Favorite One Liner
FTE Chapter Leader
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 42,594
Likes: 3,125
From: Fraziers Bottom, WV
Favorite One Liner
Of all the things I have lost, I shall miss my mind the most!
Unknown!
And
When I work, Iwork hard.
When I sit, Isit loose.
When I think, I fall asleep!
Me!
Unknown!
And
When I work, Iwork hard.
When I sit, Isit loose.
When I think, I fall asleep!
Me!
Posting Guru
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 1,045
Likes: 0
Favorite One Liner
Our motto at one of my old jobs -
"We do it right, cause we do it twice."
edited for content by admin
"We do it right, cause we do it twice."
edited for content by admin
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Senior User
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 253
Likes: 0
From: Waterbury, CT.
Favorite One Liner
"If I wanted your opinion, I'd beat it out of you." :My mother
"Well, I noticed black smoke coming out of my chimney last Thursday morning." :Customer calling in a 'no heat' call on Saturday night at 11pm.
"Your company performed an annual(keyword) cleaning on my boiler 4 years ago, now it isn't working. Do you think it's something they might have done that caused it to stop running? :Customer without a clue.
My personal favorite. I got this call at 2am in an ice storm a couple of months ago. Customer sounded young, and kind of a smartass.
Customer: Hi, my furnace stopped working and it's getting cold in my house.
Me(barely awake) Ok, do you have oil or gas?
Customer: I have oil heat
Me: Ok, do you have any oil?
Cust: I just said I have oil heat.
Me: OOooK, Do you HAVE oil in the tank???
Cust: Can you hold on, I'll go check.
(20 minutes goes by, now I'm having coffee, and getting more irritated)
Cust: The gauge says half.
Me: All right, did you try pushing the reset button?
Cust: Yes, nothing happens.
Me: Nothing at all.
Cust: No, nothing at all.
Me: Ok, I'll be there shortly.
I get out to this stop, and there are wires all over her street. I never even got to her house. I turned around and on my way out, I called her and asked her if her electricity was out. She said yes, I said 'The furnace doesn't run on batteries you know, have a nice night.'
"Well, I noticed black smoke coming out of my chimney last Thursday morning." :Customer calling in a 'no heat' call on Saturday night at 11pm.
"Your company performed an annual(keyword) cleaning on my boiler 4 years ago, now it isn't working. Do you think it's something they might have done that caused it to stop running? :Customer without a clue.
My personal favorite. I got this call at 2am in an ice storm a couple of months ago. Customer sounded young, and kind of a smartass.
Customer: Hi, my furnace stopped working and it's getting cold in my house.
Me(barely awake) Ok, do you have oil or gas?
Customer: I have oil heat
Me: Ok, do you have any oil?
Cust: I just said I have oil heat.
Me: OOooK, Do you HAVE oil in the tank???
Cust: Can you hold on, I'll go check.
(20 minutes goes by, now I'm having coffee, and getting more irritated)
Cust: The gauge says half.
Me: All right, did you try pushing the reset button?
Cust: Yes, nothing happens.
Me: Nothing at all.
Cust: No, nothing at all.
Me: Ok, I'll be there shortly.
I get out to this stop, and there are wires all over her street. I never even got to her house. I turned around and on my way out, I called her and asked her if her electricity was out. She said yes, I said 'The furnace doesn't run on batteries you know, have a nice night.'
Elder User
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 703
Likes: 0
From: Where they take the census by counting the appliances on the front porch and multiplying by five
Favorite One Liner
My vote for best one-liner of all time:
"Frankly my dear, I don't give a ...."
IT's all in the delivery. Can't beat Clark Gable.
Censors charged David O. Selznick ten-thousand dollars to keep that line (because of the profanity) in Gone With The Wind. He figured it was worth it. Wouldn't those same censors freak out today!
My personal favorite:
Bomber: "There will come a time boy, when you'll wish you'd never met me"
Reeves: "Mister, I'm already there"
From the movie "SPEED"
"Frankly my dear, I don't give a ...."
IT's all in the delivery. Can't beat Clark Gable.
Censors charged David O. Selznick ten-thousand dollars to keep that line (because of the profanity) in Gone With The Wind. He figured it was worth it. Wouldn't those same censors freak out today!
My personal favorite:
Bomber: "There will come a time boy, when you'll wish you'd never met me"
Reeves: "Mister, I'm already there"
From the movie "SPEED"
