One Liners
Senior User
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 422
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Was in a restroom with a bunch of witty sayings all over the walls like "Be like dad, not like sis, raise the lid when you take a p***." They were all alright, then I saw one that got my attention:
With all these rhymes of rhythm and wit, you'd think that Shakespeare had been here to s***.
With all these rhymes of rhythm and wit, you'd think that Shakespeare had been here to s***.
Postmaster
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 2,557
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From: Texas
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Joe Kucinski
Elder User
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 664
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From: Lubbock or Houston
ok its not a one liner but it made me laugh
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks.
The husband and wife agreed that they wouldn't tell anyone about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives went on and on about her youthful look.
One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice.
She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."
"My darling," he replied, "think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks.
The husband and wife agreed that they wouldn't tell anyone about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives went on and on about her youthful look.
One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice.
She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."
"My darling," he replied, "think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."
Senior User
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 223
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From: Cheyenne Wy.
Originally Posted by Mattsbox99
"Wyoming: where the men are men, and the sheep are scared."
1. Yes sir, that truck is paid for.
2. The wind NEVER blows here.
3. Honestly, I was just helping that sheep over the fence.
some one liners/bumper stickers:
Fight rush hour traffic - Legalize vehicular weaponry.
I was Snow Whiite, But I drifted.
Will Hunt for Food.
American Non-sequitur Society - We don't make sense...but we do like pizza.
Jim