Well man, I hope it does work out for you, and that this doesnt happen again. If it's meant to be man, it'll work out, and that's what you just gotta keep on telling yourself.

 

Hey Wezol5484 - I'm in a VERY similar situation as yourself.
Keep this in mind as I post this. I'm 18, and the girl I'm talking about is 16, she is my ex-GF.
Well, it started out by me going over her house one night when her parents were at a ball game in the City. (this is after we broke up, so we're just "friends" but we both admit we still like each other, again , another long story ) So, it's around 7 PM, and we figure that her parents won't be home much after 9. SO, 7:30 comes along and about 6-7 of her friends show up at her house. We all knew that her parents wanted NO ONE in the house when they were not home, but we figured we'd be long gone by the time they showed up. Right? WRONG. About 8:15 comes, and all of a sudden she screams "My parents are home !!" (Keep in mind, NONE of us were doing anything illegal (I.E. drinking, sex, smoking, etc. etc.) Before you knew it, all the kids started RUNNING out the back slider door, and into the woods. Stupid me decides to follow them. Now think about this, my truck is in the street parked right in front of their house and they KNOW my truck, along with all the other kids ricer cars. So, we manage to all get in our cars with her parents screaming behind us "Don't any of you come back here again". I felt terrible after I left. Not only are her parents and mine great friends, but I NEVER do anything wrong (so adults think lol) so I really surprised her parents that I was there to begin with. So now, she's grounded from seeing me for 1 month. I think this sucks, but I suppose I deserve it for going there to begin with. What really sucks is I have NEVER gone to her house without her parents being home, and her friends do all the time, and they never got caught. Now, the only time they do get caught is with me there. Go figure. Oh well, I managed to get things straightened out with her mom, its just the dad that needs more "convincing".
Sorry for the long rant, its just that reading this story reminds me of what happened to me just 3 days ago. I never ran away from anyone in my life. I feel like I was escaping a prison.

 

Yeap know exactly how ya feel. I havent even gotten to meet the dad yet, hes been gone for like 3 months or somthin like that. Her mom trusts me though and told my mom that I was a good kid (hahaha), no really i am...her mom said that I could see her in a few weeks if things go good. But since I havent seen her in 2 weeks as it is then itll be bout a month till I see her. I miss her alot already. Id like to hear some of yall stories and how they came out....I know yall have em lol.

 

Well, see my above post for about 40% of my relationship story. I'd bore the users here on FTE by telling them everything

 

Being a young girl once, I can understand her mom's feelings. Obviously, she's had trouble in the past. I did the same long ago, and whenever I was disciplined, I strayed from the folks more. I was a bad girl. So, I ran away with my girlfriend, took her dad's Bronco too. We were like Thelma and Louise. I got fined for joy riding, and she was disowned, long story. But, it was never worth running away. Why run away from problems? They'll be waiting when you return, right?

As a mom now, I see how women tend to try and shelter our kids from the world at times. It's the fear of not being there when they need help, or get in trouble. Then again, you cannot lead a sheltered life, you won't learn to fall and get up on your own.

Everyone here is right. Go with your feelings, BUT, she is under their rules, you must comply as well as she does. Just remember, parents tend to take away the most important things to their kids. Her's is obviously you, so keep that in mind. It's her punishment, not yours.

Everything will be ok.

 

Being the father of a 19yr old daughter,and a 16yr old son,I know where you are coming from.First and most important!!!,if this parent is indeed striking your girlfriend,then your girlfriend needs to talk to somebody,not necessarily the police,but other agencies where you live that deal with domestic violence,Its one thing to spank,but nobody deserves to be slapped around!You personally do not want to get involved in this,because somehow you will end up being the badguy.Either the stepmom will end up hating you or your girl will.{but anonomus phone calls to the right agencies can work wonders} Some agencies are even required by law to do follow up investigations after an anonomus call.for you I say.like everbody else,sit back and wait,you can always send the stepmom anew broom,toadstools,batwings,etc later to get on her good side.yuk,yuk,yuk.

 

If she's eighteen or older, she can do what she wants, but you have to ask yourself a number of things.

Can you support her? if not, say no.
Can you trust her? if not say no.
Do you really think you'll be treated any better than her parents?


Think about it long and from a totally outside perspective. Imagine the worst thing that could happen.

I guarantee that it will!

Final note:
IS SHE SELF SUPPORTING???
I have cause these days to look at that exclusively. There is no reason in the world to tie yourself to a losing bet or game. if you do that - you can anticipate (at the very least) paying all of the bills for her excesses. And if she runs true to type, you will be paying for one HELL of a long time.

Never take on a charity case unless you are fat enough to fall down.


~Wolf

 

No shes only 16 still livin with her rents, although that is somethin to think bout greywolf. Ive read in past posts that you've learned that the hard way, no one should have to go through that. As for call protective services on her mom, Ive thought about that but I think that would just make things worse for her. Remember her mom is in jail, when she gets out in a year she has to go to a mental institute for 6 months then somewhere else (forget where) for another 6 months. Her dad is always outta town on business, months at a time. So if her step mom gets hauled away then that leaves her and her little sister being suported by there dad whos only income comes from outta town business at the moment. I dont think he has a steady job Im not sure. Her step mom doesnt beat her though, slapped her in the face once (for exactly what Im not sure). Ive never seen any bruises either, and she gets along pretty well with her step mom. When she came over that night after her step mom slapped her I didnt even see any redness so as far as I can tell shes not gettin slapped excessively hard, just enough to let her know shes done wrong. I dont want to put any more pressures on her by calling protectice services for somthing that I dont think is enough to be called on IMO. I had friends that were beat and this is no where near that. As of now Im trying to lay low and let her handle things the way she thinks she needs to and do what she thinks is best, but still be here if she needs me.

 

we have problems with them because we are too much alike.
BTW we love our mom's
the step mom sounds like she's feeling like she's drowning
i'm a woman and i know that it's tough being a step mom so i'd just back way off and look else where it's going to get uglier.

bremerton6

 

You're doin the right thing man, I feel for ya. Layin low is prolly the best choice, and just make sure she knows that you're there for her.

 

Well....got another update, not really a good one. They figured out what her punishment is going to be. Shes not allowed to have any friends over for a month. In a month I can come over but her mom doesnt know we're still going out so when we're around her we have to act just like friends, shes not allowed to go on any dates till the end of school (May 28), at that time she can go on dates but only group dates. They put a password lock on the computer til....get this...2010. Oh....and shes not allowed to date non-Christians (sp?). I am a christian but I dont go to church. This is the part that makes me the maddest. Apparently in her parents eyes Im not good enough to date their daughter because Im not a chruch going christian and I can drag her down. I hate people judging me because of this, I used to go to church but for reasons Id rather not talk about church kinda left my life, Im FAR from athiest. To me thats almost the same as being racist. We are still going out,but we are just keeping it from her mom, when she gets freed in 10 weeks we'll tell her. But I dunno...the fact that her parents dont want me to date her any more becuase I dont go to church makes me really mad. I know quite a few guys that DO go to church and there not half the man I am. (not trying to sound cocky but its the truth, I know these kids). I have very strong morals with women and relationships and treating people right. Its the way I was raised and I also saw what NOT to do when my mom was with my last step dad and I made a lot of promises to myself on what Im never going to do to a woman. Sorry for adding the rant in there but I needed to get it out.
Dylan

 

Venting=GOOD
NotVenting=Bad,Very Bad
God=Yes
Religion=Who knows ,one says this,another says that.

I guess what Im trying to say here is this,It looks as though the dark clouds are starting to thin out,At least you are not being forbidden from seeing her,It sounds to me like you care about her alot,and if this is true,then hey what the heck,It should be worth the 1 hr a week investment to go with her to church,unless it is one of those crazy cult types.(in which case dont drink the koolaid) The positive benifits such as getting on moms good side could be surprizing,Who knows,maybe this is how God is trying to reach you,sorry,I think I am starting to sound like a preacher,The point is.If you care alot about her,1 hr a week is a cakewalk,you dont have to believe everthing the preacher says(afterall he is just another guy with an opinion)But if you pick up the book and read it while you are there,the only thing you will get is knowledge,and this is one subject that you can never get enough
of,But you are right,It just kills me the way some people judge others by their religion,According to the church that I used to belong to,I am goin to hell just cause I smoke and swear like a sailor,I say(moderated) to them,I dont believe God sits up ther with a scorecard and says,oh you said this,you said that,In his ten rules he just says leave him out of it(when it comes to swearin).And one other thing,Try hard not to let other people`s opinion get to you.people are going to judge you your whole life,nothin you can do about it except this.Remember,it is alot harder for those morons to critisize someone who has good strong morals and values.good luck and keep us posted

 

Yea I told her last night that I would start goin to church every Wednesday with her and on Sundays if I could make it. I want to be able to see her. I have NOTHING agianst church at all, there was just some things that went on a while ago and I stopped going, and for some reason never got back to going agian. Now I will. I have no prob goin to church its just that the whole "You cant date him becuase he doesnt go to church" is wrong to me. Just because I dont go, does that mean that I dont take care of my responsibilties, or know how to treat a woman, or know how to respect a women and everyone around her, does that mean that I wont respect her parents or her, does it mean that I dont have good strong morals? No it doesnt. I know alot of the kids who go there on sundays and I dont do half the stuff they do (ie: drugs). Never did drugs never will. I treat my parents with more respect then they ever will, I know this because Ive seen how they treat their parents. I take care of responsibilities and if I do somthin wrong I own up to it. I dont know if I took that the wrong way but to me, it seems like thats what there saying, that Im not good enough for their daughter.
Dylan

 

haha... my dad went to church one time back in the 60's to try to hook up with a girl once. every couple minutes theyd stand up to say "amen" and cheer, by the time my father stood up everyone was already sitting back down! he said this went on for quite a while, so once the church session was over he decided he already failed with that girl and gave up lol

 

Haha thatll prob be me! But in this case Ive already got the girl and this is my only way to see her.