The boring neighbors are getting to the point that leaving the lights on 24 hours a day is the only respite.

​​​​​​She left him on the sofa when the phone rang and was back in a few seconds. "Who was it?" he asked. "My husband," she replied.
"I better get going," he said. "Where was he?" "Relax. He's downtown playing poker with you."
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I was shopping in the supermarket. I noticed a Hotty staring really hard at a carton of orange juice.
I asked her what she was doing. She said "Well, it says on the carton "concentrate."
__________________________________________________ ______________

I checked today and there are 14 people who I will never miss in my life.
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The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, "Hello." "Mrs. Sanders, please." "Speaking."
"Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent
his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now
uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good."

'What do you mean?" Mrs. Sanders asks nervously. "Well, one of the specimens tested positive for
Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which."
"That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Sanders.
'Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time.'
'Well, what am I supposed to do now?" "The folks at Medicare recommend that you
drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home,
don't sleep with him."
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An LEO once said to me, "there is no knowledgeable response to how the human mind works, I respond to what it does.

Ringneck Pheasant comes to mind in comparisons. Ya kick em out of the cornstalks, they fly off, you blow some feathers out
and they land, "I cannot predict where, before the feathers leave em."

 

They're in a storage, shipping crate full of office stuff, small cases of things & crates of other stuff.
The US Treasury man says, "Lil Johnny you're going to life in prison for forgery & gun running."
Lil Johnny responds, "the POTUS needs a man like me to keep foreign stuff going on."
He then says, "How about now?" and slides a $37 dollar bill to him along with a 9mm 320 SIG !

 

The wife goes to the police station with her next-door neighbor to
report that her husband is missing. The Sargent policeman asks
for a description. Karen says, "He's 35 years old, 6 foot 4,
has dark eyes dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds,
is soft-spoken and is good to the children."

The next-door neighbor protested, "Karen, your husband is 5 foot 8, chubby, bald,
has a big mouth and is mean to the kids."

Karen says, "Yeah, but who wants the ******* back?"

 

I found out today that another New Neighbor has arrived from a near by Neighborhood. I asked why would they move here. The neighborhoods 15 are boring. She said well at least there is one interesting dissenter here. Her name is Caroline. I remember that stuff.

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Hershal 20, marries a Hot girl from Penn.
He expects her to keep the house cleaned,
dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed,
and hot meals on the table for every meal.

He says to himself, first day he doesn't see
anything done, he'll let it pass!

The second day he doesn't see anything done
he'll wait for improvement !

But by the third day, He's done and orders her around some!

Two weeks later some of the swelling had gone down and
he can see a little out of his left eye and his arm has healed
enough that he can fix himself a sandwich & load the dishwasher.
Dusting with a new Robo is a no brainer too !



He still has some difficulty when he pees.

 

LIFE CAN BE A HARD PILL SELF SWALLOWED
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Can you remember the Statement, "The next time I want a haircut I'll stick my head in a Pencil Sharpener?" ( B.F. )
If you do you are an Andy Griffith show subscriber and really predictable! !

"Barney, give up that 38 special round in your pocket to me !"

 

Sure, You know why I told them to GTH !
It wasn't personal, they are just scum buckets
most likely with a lot of money!

If not WTF cares. I wish them well. They are
not in any means a part of anything here.

So I write this as a fairwell thee in the most calm manner! .....

 

Those 15 do need to see that hotties picture anyway.

 

1. when you know you are right STFU
2. If you know your wrong, STFU
3. After you realize neither one of those work, then just STFU !

Trust is. you can't win just get hungry waiting for a response around 9 PM.

 

“Oh, Shirley!” Jamie says. “Have you swallowed ANOTHER one of my socks! AGAIN! ..... .....



CERTAINLY, LIFE CAN BE HELL IF YOU LET IT !

 

You can't handle these wheels can ya!

 

How about going fishing Gerald

 

I went upstairs , took a nice long shower , washed my hair, blow dried my toes, pulled on some great Sox, got into good blue jeans an shirt, pulled on my boots an went fishing after I opened my water bill ! I thought about my 15 neighbors but why ask any of those Boeings along. I have my Smart phone and IPad if I need to know anything.

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