The Safe for GNAC Joke Thread!!!
#7966
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#7967
A man walks up to a very pretty lady and says, "would you sleep with me for 1 million dollars?"
The lady replied, "yes I would."
The man then says, "okay, would you sleep with me for just 1 dollar?"
The lady gets all huffy and says, "of course not, what kind of a lady do you think I am?"
The man replies, "I think we've already established that, right now we're just negotiating the price."
The lady replied, "yes I would."
The man then says, "okay, would you sleep with me for just 1 dollar?"
The lady gets all huffy and says, "of course not, what kind of a lady do you think I am?"
The man replies, "I think we've already established that, right now we're just negotiating the price."
#7968
#7969
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#7971
#7972
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#7973
The king had long suspected disloyalty in his subjects. When his suspicions lead toward a particular Count, the king had him summoned for some answers.
The Count denied everything, claiming that he was loyal to the king, but his answers didn't fit the evidence.
Tiring of the denials, the king finally bellowed out, "OFF WITH HIS HEAD"!
The Count continued his denials, even as the guardsmen escorted him into the courtyard.
He was placed into position and the executioner raised the axe.
"Wait! I'll talk!!!" said the Count.
But was too late. The axe was already in motion and the Count's head rolled across the courtyard.
The moral of this story is, of course, the often misquoted, "Don't hatchet your Counts before they chicken!"
The Count denied everything, claiming that he was loyal to the king, but his answers didn't fit the evidence.
Tiring of the denials, the king finally bellowed out, "OFF WITH HIS HEAD"!
The Count continued his denials, even as the guardsmen escorted him into the courtyard.
He was placed into position and the executioner raised the axe.
"Wait! I'll talk!!!" said the Count.
But was too late. The axe was already in motion and the Count's head rolled across the courtyard.
The moral of this story is, of course, the often misquoted, "Don't hatchet your Counts before they chicken!"
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#7974
#7975
The Group of farmers in that area get together and decide the best option is to raise Chickens.
They buy 1000's and plant them in the ground. The confusing thing is all die.
They meet and order more. These they plant feet first. Sometime latter they, all die.
They all meet again and decide to contact the Agricultural Commision.
Sometime later the AGG Commision contacts them & asks for a Soil Sample.
Did you know? The difference in building a Snowman or Snowwoman are snowballs. ..........
They buy 1000's and plant them in the ground. The confusing thing is all die.
They meet and order more. These they plant feet first. Sometime latter they, all die.
They all meet again and decide to contact the Agricultural Commision.
Sometime later the AGG Commision contacts them & asks for a Soil Sample.
Did you know? The difference in building a Snowman or Snowwoman are snowballs. ..........
#7976
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#7977
Marsy was having trouble with her chickens.
Every morning when she got up, she'd see that several of them had escaped and were feeding outside the fence. She'd then have to round them up and return them to the coup.
Determined to put an end to their "eating out" she stayed up all night and watched the chickens from the porch. What she learned was pretty amazing.
A couple of the chickens would lean against the gate while another would peck on the latch. When the latch released, the chicken's weight on the gate would open it just a crack, and they escaped to their nightly feast.
So Marsy ran to the hardware store for a new latch. "This one should work just fine", she thought. "The package says it is impeccable."
Every morning when she got up, she'd see that several of them had escaped and were feeding outside the fence. She'd then have to round them up and return them to the coup.
Determined to put an end to their "eating out" she stayed up all night and watched the chickens from the porch. What she learned was pretty amazing.
A couple of the chickens would lean against the gate while another would peck on the latch. When the latch released, the chicken's weight on the gate would open it just a crack, and they escaped to their nightly feast.
So Marsy ran to the hardware store for a new latch. "This one should work just fine", she thought. "The package says it is impeccable."
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#7978
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#7979
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#7980
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