A New York man was forced to take a day off from work to appear for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard.

When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood before the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned for the day, and he would have to return the next day.

"What for?" he snapped at the judge.

His honor, equally irked by a tedious day and sharp query roared, "Twenty dollars contempt of court. That's why!"

Then, noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge relented.

"That's all right. You don't have to pay now."

The young man replied, "I'm just seeing if I have enough for two more words."

 

Your lawyer would just postpone it all for a couple of months.

 

 

 

 

Not the friendliest

 

 

Reason Cariboo run so hard.

You would too if you had a million mosquito after your buttocks.

 

 

You know that reminds me of the New Senior Citizen tiny home housing complex I just saw.

 

 

Old Bill leaves $30,000 in his will for his funeral and soon passed.
As the last guests departed, his wife, Helen, turned to her oldest friend.
"Well, I'm sure Bill would be pleased," she said.
"I'm sure you're right," replied Jody, who lowered her voice and leaned in close.
"How much did this really cost?"
"All of it," said Helen. "Thirty thousand."
"No!" Jody exclaimed. "I mean, it was very nice, but $30,000?"
Helen answered. "The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to the church.
The wake, food and drinks were another $500. The rest went for the memorial stone."
Jody thought about that and quickly asked. "$22,500 for a memorial stone?
My God, how big is it?!" "Two and a half carats."

 

Dear Employees:
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the Service have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.
Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.
We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.
Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner. Filthy language will not be tolerated, and dismissal may proceed.

Number 1
TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.

Number 2
TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.

Number 3
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.

Number 4
TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.

Number 5
TRY SAYING: Really?

Number 6
TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...

Number 7
TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.

Number 8
TRY SAYING: That's interesting.

Number 9
TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.

Number 10
TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.

Number 11
TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues...

Number 12
TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?

Number 13
TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?

Number 14
TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.

Number 15
TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.

Number 16
TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.

Number 17
TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?

Number 18
TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.

Thank You, Human Resources and no middle finger gestures either.

*** (I hear a bell ringing out there somewhere!) .....

 

 

mmm, why did I just sit down here anyway I might as well pay a bill or 2....
Oh yea! When's the next Amazon delivery? I think its JB Weld to fix something or other. ..... .....