St. Peter shakes Bob the Builder's hand at the Pearly Gates and says, "Congratulations Bob,
we've been waiting a long time for you." Totally confused and a little embarrassed,
Bob the Builder looks at Saint Peter and shakes his hand.

 

After God created Adam and Eve... He appeared to them in the Garden.
He said, " I have two gifts to give you one is to pee standing up and...
Adam, very anxious, interrupted him saying, "M E... M E...I want it,

 

 

 

 

God has to be the greatest inventor of all time. He took a rib from Adam and made a loudspeaker!

 

I guess you get shlt for channels..?

 

OLD MAN AND A BUCKET OF SHRIMP.. A True Story

This is a wonderful story and it is true. You will be glad that you
read it, and I hope you will pass it on.
It happened every Friday evening, almost without fail, when the sun
resembled a giant orange and was starting to dip into the blue ocean.

Old Ed came strolling along the beach to his favorite pier.

Clutched in his bony hand was a bucket of shrimp. Ed walks out to the
end of the pier, where it seems he almost has the world to himself.
The glow of the sun is a golden bronze now.

Everybody's gone, except for a few joggers on the beach. Standing out
on the end of the pier, Ed is alone with his thoughts...and his bucket
of shrimp.

Before long, however, he is no longer alone. Up in the sky a thousand
white dots come screeching and squawking, winging their way toward
that lanky frame standing there on the end of the pier.

Before long, dozens of seagulls have enveloped him, their wings
fluttering and flapping wildly. Ed stands there tossing shrimp to the
hungry birds. As he does, if you listen closely, you can hear him say
with a smile, 'Thank you. Thank you.'

In a few short minutes the bucket is empty. But Ed doesn't leave. He
stands there lost in thought, as though transported to another time
and place.

When he finally turns around and begins to walk back toward the beach,
a few of the birds hop along the pier with him until he gets to the
stairs, and then they, too, fly away. And old Ed quietly makes his way
down to the end of the beach and on home.

If you were sitting there on the pier with your fishing line in the
water, Ed might seem like 'a funny old duck,' as my dad used to say.
Or, to onlookers, he's just another old codger, lost in his own weird
world, feeding the seagulls with a bucket full of shrimp.

To the onlooker, rituals can look either very strange or very empty.
They can seem altogether unimportant ....maybe even a lot of nonsense.

Old folks often do strange things, at least in the eyes of Boomers and Busters.

Most of them would probably write Old Ed off, down there in Florida
... That's too bad. They'd do well to know him better.

His full name: Eddie Rickenbacker. He was a famous hero in World War
I, and then he was in WWII. On one of his flying missions across the
Pacific, he and his seven-member crew went down. Miraculously, all of
the men survived, crawled out of their plane, and climbed into a life
raft.

Captain Rickenbacker and his crew floated for days on the rough waters
of the Pacific. They fought the sun. They fought sharks. Most of all,
they fought hunger and thirst. By the eighth day their rations ran
out. No food. No water. They were hundreds of miles from land and no
one knew where they were or even if they were alive.

Every day across America millions wondered and prayed that Eddie
Rickenbacker might somehow be found alive.

The men adrift needed a miracle. That afternoon they had a simple
devotional service and prayed for a miracle.

They tried to nap. Eddie leaned back and pulled his military cap over
his nose. Time dragged on. All he could hear was the slap of the waves
against the raft....suddenly Eddie felt something land on the top of
his cap. It was a seagull!

Old Ed would later describe how he sat perfectly still, planning his
next move. With a flash of his hand and a squawk from the gull, he
managed to grab it and wring its neck. He tore the feathers off, and
he and his starving crew made a meal of it - a very slight meal for
eight men. Then they used the intestines for bait. With it, they
caught fish, which gave them food and more bait....and the cycle
continued. With that simple survival technique, they were able to
endure the rigors of the sea until they were found and rescued after
24 days at sea.

Eddie Rickenbacker lived many years beyond that ordeal, but he never
forgot the sacrifice of that first life-saving seagull... And he never
stopped saying, 'Thank you.' That's why almost every Friday night he
would walk to the end of the pier with a bucket full of shrimp and a
heart full of gratitude.

PS: Eddie Rickenbacker was the founder of Eastern Airlines. Before WWI
he was race car driver. In WWI he was a pilot and became America's
first ace. In WWII he was an instructor and military adviser, and he
flew missions with the combat pilots. Eddie Rickenbacker is a true
American hero. And now you know another story about the trials and
sacrifices that brave men have endured for your freedom.

As you can see, I chose to pass it on. It is a great story that many
don't know...You've got to be careful with old guys, you just never
know what they have done during their lifetime.

 

Now that's ridiculous humor! ..... ...John

 

An Indignant Elderly Lil Johnny is suffering from constipation.
The Dr. prescribed suppositories. A week later Lil Johnny now an Elderly
once again goes to his Dr. and complained the product doesn't work.
"Have you been taking them regularly?" Lil Johnnys doctor asks.
"What do you think I've been doing, shoving them up my butt?"

 

No, just chittty reception.

 

 

 

That is a story about Captain Rickenbacker I've never heard and yet I'm not the least bit surprised he was involved with such events. He was an extraordinary American to be sure.

The last sentence sums up so many "older" people---too often we have no idea how special their younger lives were!