Lil Johnnys Parents receive a note from Principal's office.
They need to help Lil Johnny with his homework.
Well, Lil Johnnys Parents help Lil Johnny whenever he gets stumped.
"Hey Mom, great news! There are only 3 mistakes on my Math Test.
You made one, Dad made one and I made one!"

 

 

The Old Gal in her Volvo is driving home from work
when her daughter calls her on her Linked Cell car phone.
"Mom", she says in a worried voice, "be careful.
There was a bit on the news just now,
some lunatic is driving the wrong way down the freeway".
"It's worse than that", she replies,
"there are hundreds of them!"

 

 

Having grand children for the weekend is so refreshing!

 

It was a different time,

 

 

So now we know the kid is pappy trained

 

Happy Valentines Misfits Day, MOTORHEAD's

 

Roses are red,
Violets are blue;
Vodka is cheaper,
Than dinner for two!

 

I saw a Half gallon of good Vodka and 1 half gallon of Cheap water mixed has a name to it.
"The Borg," You know, the best home fixer up project there is, is more Wine.

 

The passenger apologized and said:
"I didn't realize a little touch would scare you so much"
The driver replied: "Sorry, it's not that!
It's my 1st day as a Cab driver...I've been driving an
Ambulance hauling to a morgue a dead body for the last 7 yrs." .....

 

Trying to find the way out of this store today!

 

Just follow the Directions.