Imagine taking a Ford Ranger, stuffing its engine bay with the new Power Stroke V8…then adding a silo’s worth of nitrous to it. It’s easy to imagine how to overpower such a small truck, but how do you do that with a semi? The answer is: Shockwave the Jet Truck.

Back when the Ford Excursion was out, it got flack from some journalists for being too big to fit into regular garages. Those critics would verbally slaughter the 15,000-pound Excursion you see here. It makes the factory version look like a Smart car in comparison.

Ooh, boy. There’s a lot going on in the following video. Most of it is really cool. The clip features rock music, girls in bikinis, and a 50-caliber machine gun. Here’s the catch, Blue Oval lovers: that BFG gets unloaded on a battered Ford Explorer.

Fellas, if you still don’t have a Valentine’s Day gift for that special lady in your life, I’m here to help. Show her you have taste and financial restraint. Get her this diamond- and Swarovski crystal-covered Ford Escape (Kuga).