Wisdom is what you get from experience, and experience is what you get from a lack of wisdom.

 

"Here lies Lester Moore. Four slugs from a .44, no Les, no more.

 

Confucius say,.......... "Man conceived in back seat of vehicle with automatic transmission, grow up to be shiftless bast**d".

 

"Life is tough.
It's tougher if you are stupid...."
~John Wayne

"Ignorance even if it is plausible denial is still ignorance, under the law it is not an excuse.
But under welfare laws it is an advantage honest people do not have"
~Greywolf

If you attempt to support yourself - you will not qualify for welfare. If you don't - be satisfied with what you have become! The rest of us can despise you if we want to."

~Wolf

 

The early bird may catch the worm, but it's the second mouse that gets the cheese.

 

Never argue with an idiot. He'll bring you down to his level and beat you with experience.

If something's difficult, just do it and get it done. If it's impossible, it just takes a little longer.

The secret to happiness is not doing what you like, but liking what you do.

 

Fundamental Law of Commercial Enterprise:
"Somebody somewhere needs something that is only available here, or is NOT available here - the trick is to identify it and sell it"

That applies especially if you live in Salt Lake City...



"Nothing sells like VICE"

"You can't really call someone stupid if they are still alive afterward..."

"Any crash that you can walk away from is still a Goddamned crash!"

"Tie your shoes. I doubt you will trip on them, but you can't pull yourself up by them if they cannot be found..."

"Robert E. Howard was smart. Evidently something more is required..."

"Tiny Tim was an idiot, but he was right about appreciating everything, also Valentine Micheal Smith - but where is the future in it?"

 

I've said this several times,,,,
PhD,
Ph pronounced like "F",,,RIGHT????
Ferirously Dumb,,, All Book smart And NO COMMON SENSE!

Trucker's Wise Sayings.
Dispatcher: It's ONLY AN INCH AWAY! 200 MILES????
HOLD = Handle On Later Date!

Military Saying,,
"HURRY UP & WAIT!"
"This Is My Weapon, This Is My Gun!" I'll quit there!

 

I forgot probably my favorite one:

The toes you step on today might be connected to the *** you have to kiss tomorrow.

 

Ohhh!! I love that one!!!

 

I've always been a believer in Murphy's Law:

"If anything can go arong, it will."

However, Murphy was an optimist.

Here's a few more:

-Being dead right doesn't make you any less dead.
-The largest vehicle always has the right of way.
-You're only pulled over when you were just trying to make the light.
-When there are three other cars on the road, the drivers are drunk and there's not a cop in sight.
-Hotrods are never seen, but often heard.
-You finally save up enough to fix your car and you get fired.
-The car only breaks down at the least convenient time. When you car breaks down and it is a small repair, the mechanic has to remove the engine to get to that part.
-No matter how well kept the car, an oil leak will develop.
-When you take your car to a mechanic because it makes a funny sound you will not be able to demonstrate it for the mechanic nor will you be able to describe.

 

I like the glass one;
optimist says glasss is half full,
pessimest says glass is half empty

realitist says; somebody needs to wash the glass!

 

if you let a fox in the hen house,you will have chicken for supper every night.

 

even a blind squirrel gets a nut now and then

 

"The boy reminds me of Paul Revere's ride - (A little light in the belfry)"
~F. Leghorn

"Sounds to me like you got a coupla woodpeckers in your tree of knowlege there, Bud..."

"Purple is a marvellous color for a grape or an eggplant - but it doesn't do much for human hair"

"I'm not old fashioned - I'm a 'Retro-Philosophist'. Get current wouldja..."

The most cruel and cutting insults I have ever heard contained not one single profane term! They were marvels of precision craftsmanship in their own right, which is what made them so devastatingly effective.

"Diamonds are brilliant and beautiful because of the way they reflect illumination from an external source. The same cannot be said of either carreer politicians or talk show hosts..."

"Mongo only small cog in great wheel of universe"

"The surest way to sell someone a thing is to suggest that they cannot afford it..."

"The main difference between a rich man and a poor one seems to be that a poor man values what money can buy - whereas a rich man values the money itself."

If it were against the law to be stupid - I for one would be serving several life terms by now

"CONSIDER THE SOURCE" (Fundamental rule for judging the value of advice given)
If the man telling you how to fix your truck drives a broken down jalopy - BEWARE!