Part V
Post Fiend
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 5,398
Likes: 1
From: Gilbert, Az
Goodnight BB!
Sorry Jim......
Have a good few day Pete!
I'm with ya, don't drink often at all so after 2 I am feeling it. Had to stop or I probably would say something I will reget in the morning
Hotshot
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 13,144
Likes: 11
From: Rochdale MA
That's ok
Good Night Everyone!
Smokin
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 8,849
Likes: 0
Jim even though it hurts, it makes me smile to see that you are laughing.
When I was in the hospital, after I had been cut open, my family was in the hospital room visiting, and the Simpsons was playing on the TV.
It was the episode where Bart and Homer are on a beach somewhere...and Homer has a speedo on..but it keeps disappearing up his butt...so he just keeps putting new ones on...and as they walk down the beach, women see Homer and do various things to destroy their eyesight so they don't have to see Homer in a speedo.
One girl puts a jellyfish on her face, another one throws sand in her own face.
It hurt to laugh.I feel ya buddy.
Anyways, goodnight all.
Ive been crying a bit and my eyes swell up big time when I do that..I need to go to bed.
When I was in the hospital, after I had been cut open, my family was in the hospital room visiting, and the Simpsons was playing on the TV.
It was the episode where Bart and Homer are on a beach somewhere...and Homer has a speedo on..but it keeps disappearing up his butt...so he just keeps putting new ones on...and as they walk down the beach, women see Homer and do various things to destroy their eyesight so they don't have to see Homer in a speedo.
One girl puts a jellyfish on her face, another one throws sand in her own face.
It hurt to laugh.I feel ya buddy.
Anyways, goodnight all.
Ive been crying a bit and my eyes swell up big time when I do that..I need to go to bed.
Post Fiend
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 14,541
Likes: 2
From: Dallas-Ft. Worth
I REALLY want to go to bed, but I have to wait for some colleagues to get done with equipment I loaned them. They're going back to Korea tomorrow, and they're bringing it back tonight. Should be anytime now...... 
Post Fiend
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 5,398
Likes: 1
From: Gilbert, Az
Damn Koreans...... tell them to hurry up. lol.
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From: Bellingham, WA
Post Fiend
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 10,418
Likes: 0
From: SpringHill,Fl
Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol and Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Toni. What I came across was a 100,000 volt, pocket/purse-sized tazer. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.....WAY TO COOL!!
Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple A batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Toni what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple A batteries...right??
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Graicie looking on intently (trusting lil soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh and blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie ( for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. Sheis such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, taser in another. The directions said that a one second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5 inches long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple A batteries. thinking to myself 'no possible way'!!
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...
I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it master'. Reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad....I decided to give myself a one second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY MOTHER, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION @!@$$%!@*!!!
I'm prety sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, ********* nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position and a tingling in my legs. The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before,licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself 'do it again, do it again!!'
Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself. You will not let go of that thinguntil it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative.
SON-OF-A.......THAT hurt like HELL!!! A minute or so later ( I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point) collected my wits ( what little I had left) sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How DID they get up there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with novocain and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.
I'm still looking for my *********. Im offering a significant reward for their safe return.
Still in shock,
Tommy
Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple A batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Toni what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple A batteries...right??
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Graicie looking on intently (trusting lil soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh and blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie ( for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. Sheis such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, taser in another. The directions said that a one second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5 inches long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple A batteries. thinking to myself 'no possible way'!!
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...
I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it master'. Reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad....I decided to give myself a one second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY MOTHER, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION @!@$$%!@*!!!
I'm prety sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, ********* nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position and a tingling in my legs. The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before,licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself 'do it again, do it again!!'
Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself. You will not let go of that thinguntil it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative.
SON-OF-A.......THAT hurt like HELL!!! A minute or so later ( I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point) collected my wits ( what little I had left) sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How DID they get up there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with novocain and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.
I'm still looking for my *********. Im offering a significant reward for their safe return.
Still in shock,
Tommy
