An older man went to see his Doctor in need of Viagra.

"I can help you out with that," Says the Doctor.

"Can I cut them in half and take him that way?" asked the old man

"I suppose you can, but do you mind if i ask why?" the doctor asked with a puzzled and bizare look on his face.

Then the old man replied: "Oh, Doctor, i dont need them for , i just need it hard enough so i can quit pissing on my feet."

 

Hey everybody,

Just thought I'd pop in and say hi! Been really busy with work lately and the wife has been swamped too. As most of you guys know, I just bought a '95 F150 Ex Cab 4X4. Well, an interesting opportunity popped up a few days ago.

A good friend of my wifes is about to get out of the military. She is pregnant and recently divorced from her deadbeat husband. She is going home to have her baby (South Carolina) and wanted to get out of her car loan. My wife told me about it and then asked me if I would be interested in buying her truck.

Long story short, we took over the payments and sold her my old F150 for cheap. The "new" truck is a 2006 F150 XLT extended cab 4X4. Its got the 5.4l in it and I think its a 5.5' bed. Oh and its black

I haven't had a chance to get some pics yet due to our fantastic weather but I promise I'll put some up LOL.

I was kinda sad to see my old truck leave; and I only had it for 2 months. But I am really happy with the new truck. I have never owned something so close to new.

Hope you all have a happy and safe weekend!

Dan

 

Evening y'all...

Hey Dan, sounds like a great deal all around. I think the 05 and up x-cab Fords are my favorite of the new trucks. Can't wait to see the pics!

 

Choosing a wife


A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.


The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.




The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.


Again, the man is impressed.




The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.




Obviously, the man was impressed.




The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.



Then he married the one with the biggest ****.

 

Good evening everyone. Thought I'd pop in to see who was up past their bedtime!!

Rob, that is a beautiful truck my friend!! Looks awesome with the new tires wheels!! Look forward to seeing it in person!

Hey Dan, glad to see you stop by! Look forward to seeing pics of the '06!

Well, since I'm wandering around in here alone, guess I'll hit the sack. I'll check in tomorrow. Take care Nebraska!!

 

Good Morning Nebraska!!

Hey Dan,
Congrats on the new truck. Should make a great addition to your family

Randy,
some times i wonder if your jokes are actually jokes or tips on reality Funny none the less

 

Good Morning Nebraska

 

x2

 

Good morning folks where is the fearless slacker this morning!!

 

Happy Weekend Nebraska!!!

 

I'm Slacking Randy, where else would I be on a saturday morning!! Good morning all. Looks like more shoveling for me this morning. Temps are supposed to get nasty later, with severe wind chills. Super. So, looks like another day trapped in the house. Well, at least there is college football on today (something like Bob's storm door company bowl).

 

nope.. get to stay home! nice! the main reason we moved back here is because we would be close to both our families and that makes it great for the Holidays... then we can sleep in our own beds and still go to one anothers parents place.

 

well i'm officially off of work until next year! love the sound of that! vacation of course (thank god) then we will see what the new year brings.

i think i actually might do some work on the old 77 ford next week. try to get the other shortbox on it and take it out drift busting.

 

There, fixed it for ya' Dallas! Morning bud, did you guys get some of this snow this morning?

 

Have fun Pat, do you have to buy that game on PPV?

Morning guys... brrrr. It finally quit snowing, but now we are under a blizzard warning because of the stupid wind. We're supposed to drop below zero and stay there through tomorrow.

The family is insisting on a trip to the mall, oh joy. I think I'd rather be water-boarded!