As most of you know, I am a very proud dad. I have two boys, 1 is 5 right now, and the other will turn 1 12/7. Last night my 5 year old was sitting at dinner, and said," my stomach hurts" and refused to eat dinner. With that I told him to put on his PJ's and sit on the couch. Well, he couldnt sit for nothing, and started asking for snacks, and milk and ect.. I said no, you didnt eat your dinner, no snacks. I tell him to go in and take a shower and get ready for bed. He comes out, walks down the hallway, and just starts throwing up. The first blast, I smiled and thought, no big deal, but the second, the third, the fourth.. I couldnt figure out how something that small can hold that much liquid/chunk combo..Sheryl finally got him off to the bathroom, go figure, he was already done, and I started the clean up.. Well this got me laughing.. So, I figure I would post some of things that I didnt really expect to come accross as a dad.

1, My son was about 2, may be less, sitting in the back yard, eating something.. I say Christian, what is your mouth.. he says Fudge.. We didnt have any fudge in the house, and we have 2 dogs..

2 My brother has a couple of German Sheppards, both are very well trained, they are in the front yard with my boy and I. I go in the house for something, I come out, and Chaos ( 1 sheppard ) and my boy are both squated a Pooping, I yell out Christian, what are you doing, he say's, I poop like Chaos

3 I get a phone call, My wife says, what will water do to the dryer, I think about it.. NOthing, it takes wet clothes all the time, nothing.. then I think, how much water? My wife says she heard water running onthe floor in the basement, she goes down stairs and water is dumping onto the floor from the dryer?????My son has the hose in the dryer vent "filling up the pipe"..

any one else??

 

Ha, Pat. I have plenty. My son, when he was young, he came into the house. I picked him up and he started to say something, . I started to gag. He eat a stink bug. Man, took a while to get his breath back to normal.

 

oh boy! you have your hands full with that one! LOL! i think the worst thing my boy has done was helping me wash my truck. he was about 5 or 6 and he saw me using the greenie weenie on the rims for the brake dust so when i went on the other side of the truck he started using it on my FENDER! i came back around to find a buttload scratches all over the passenger side fender and part of the door. luckily i dont have that truck anymore. however since you brought up the garden hose, my good buddies son filled up his gas tank with the garden hose when he was 4. oooooo boy! thought he was helping daddy out!

 

oh man guys funny stories, these are letting me know what to expect when my little boy comes April 26, 2009.

 

Ha! My oldest son thought it would be a smart idea to jump off the neighbor's second story deck onto a trampoline and land in the tree. He missed the tree. We got to visit the new Children's Hospital ER unit that night.

 

Christian and I went up North, just the 2 of us, he was just over a year, early spring. I decide we are going to get a camp fire going that night, so I go and get the chainsaw ready. I am having all sorts of problems witht he chainsaw, and Christian is just being a boy. So I set him up in the truck.. well, I not very worried about theft up North, so the keys are normally left in the truck, I stick the boy in the truck. What do you know, he locks the truck..Well, I try to play a game with him, using a flash light, I try to get him to hit wherever the light it is at.. when I get the steering wheel, he discovers the horn.. he is no longer interested in the light game.. be beats the crunch out of the steering wheel and column.. In case you are ever in this situation, a tree saw blade makes a great slim jim.. carefull of the rubber seals..By the way, if a child beats on your column long enough, there is a good chance that a conector plug on top of the column will come loose, you will loose your turn signals, and brake lights...

 

My 14 yr son came out of the Family Life building at church( a large building we use for everything ) and it has a gravel parking lot ,well his buddy's were throwing stones from the parking lot at each other so of coarse he had to join in. First throw one of his friends jumped out of the way behind him was a brand new pontiac G6 wham there goes the back window. I wasn't home so my wife and son had to handle things it got ugly and I had call my dad in, but my son learned a lot that day. Luckily my homeowners covered it $795.00

 

My son didn't want his grilled cheese when he was very young. So he slipped it in the VCR.

VCR...? What is that.

 

Yeah... I got somethin': GLAD I HAVE A GIRL!!!!!!!!

The closest story I have to that is when she was little, around 2 years I guess. She was sick, and had a fever. But she was able to eat Jell-O. I was sitting on the floor holding her in my lap and just got done feeding her the blue Jell-O. Out it came, all over Dad... My wife couldn't stop laughing at me. I on the other hand, was trying to keep it on me and not on the carpet...

Then there was the time she decided to Febreeze the cat... On a Sunday. Do you know how much an emergency trip to the only vet open in town on Sunday for a bath costs?? $75, ~8 years ago.

EDIT: Oh, and the cat's fine. He's ~16 now...

 

Congrats on the expecting, their great when their little. One funny thing just comes to mind, just recently the week after holloween (should have known) the boys weren't eating all their dinner, but were coming back before bed time and saying that they where hungry. I started to help the wife clean and in my oldest room behind his books were a mountain of candy wrappers, i should have known where all that candy was going....

 

When my now 10yo son was only about 2, he had somehow learned the art of climbing up the face of our raised panel doors on the kitchen cabinets. We know this because my wife walked into the kitchen one morning and found him standing on the countertop... no chair, stool, or any other climbing aid anywhere near the countertops and the table was too far for him to make that kind of a jump...




.... no problem, Right?




.... WRONG!!









... What my wife saw him doing was wielding a 10" bladed kitchen knife and pretending to be sword fighting in mid air going back and forth on the countertop!!



Up until just the last two years, we lived with ALL the sharp kitchen knives residing permanenetly on top of the refrigerator!

 

i dont have kids yet but my father told me this...


when I was 7 we had a small cat dozer chained down to a trailer and he was outside cutting metal up, i was playing around the trucks and stuff as usual then he said it got real quite and he heard the dozer start up and could hear the tracks ripping the wood bottom off the trailer and he ran out to find me just sitting there with the biggest smile a kid could have......

take lots and lots of pictures!!!!!!!!!!

 

this is great info since last week i found out i will be a dad come july 12, 2009

i laugh at ya'lls stories now but i guess i will have mine coming

 

Congrats!

Congrats to you also! It's a heck of a ride, grab your camera, be ready for lots of smiles and hugs!

I have a story from two days ago. My daughter, who is 17 months on the 21st this month, wasn't really acting herself after dinner. We were playing in the living room with her toys, reading books, etc........when she pukes out of the blue, all over the table and floor. So I jump up to grab her, and she does it on me a little bit too. Been there......done that already a few times. What started to gross me out........one of my dogs came running over and started to eat the puke! YUUUUUCK! So here I am......puke on the floor, puke on me, and I'm holding the baby trying to get the damn dogs ushered out the back door so I can get her cleaned up


And now for one of MY stories. When I was 5 yrs old, we lived on a street that was fairly steep, so all of the houses had backyards that were terraced, with fences. Well I was playing with a friend, and I went running across the top of one of the block wall fences, hanging onto the chain link......and I fell 6 feet onto a concrete driveway. Head first.......my TOOTH broke my fall! Well......good thing kids are tough! All it did was punch a hole thru my lip, and shove my tooth up into my jaw slightly, they had to leave it there until the tooth died so they wouldn't damage my jaw by pulling it out early. I hope I don't have as many scares raising my daughter that I gave my parents when I was growing up lol

 

Well another congrats is in order, and yes, you will have stories to tell. This is for all mothers and fathers at FTE family, Just watch them like a hawk though, about 3 years ago a great friend at work his daughters 2 year old fell head first into a bucket of water, they didn't know until it was to late, about killed me and the wife. I had to go out and get him off his trip, very sad. Sorry for the sad story but just had to tell, watch them grow and safely.