When my oldest was 4 or 5 we were taking a Sunday drive through the mountains. As we are gong up through the pines, she's telling the kids how she used to come up and spend time at a friends cabin when she was small. Morgan pipes up with "Gee Mom, the trees must have been really small when you were up here!" I laughed so hard I had to pull over. never did let her forget how "old" she was. Barney

 

When my son was about 4, the wife and I were having a little morning fun. I didn't here him come in the room. The next thing I know, he is on my back riding me liike a horse.

When he was about 7, he came in our room one night and said he had to go to the bathroom. I tell him to go ahead. Something didn't seem right so I went to check on him. He was in his room peeing in the furnace vent. He was sleep walking. He doesn't remeber a thing.

Then I have the usual story of tossing him in the air when he was about a year old when he gets sick and throw up. It lands right in my mouth.

I have 2 daughters, but they don't seem to have the funny stories.

 

Ride em cowboy! x 2

 

When my daughter Cody was not quite two, my wife (then wife) and I took her out to eat at a Smorgabob's restaurant in California. They are one of those all you can eat places. Anyway, my wife and I are eating and talking and Cody is in a high chair and she has a plate with a drumstick on it and some veges. She eating and singing and doing what little kids do and she starts banging the drumstick onto the high chair platter. All of the sudden, she let's out a "whooopee!" and throws this drumstick and it lans on the table of the people sitting next to us. With that she just cracks up laughing...

I wanted to crawl under the table. Cody's mom took it in stride though, she got up, went over and retrieved the drumstick and apologized. Luckily, the people at the other table were older and they understood completely, explaining that they too had raised children.

There's also the time that Cody flushed an apple down the toilet in this apartment that we were renting. Clogged the whole building up downstream from us.

 

There is a resturant named Branns, I took Sheryl and Christian there for dinner one night. Christian is just absolutly against eating, wants nothing to do with food, no problem. I have a 1/4 of my steak gone, a little of my potatoe when Christian say to me he wants to go to the bathroom. So off we go, I am holding his hand, he opens the door to the bathroom and just vomits everywhere, I mean he has to have reached out 2 foot. I ****** him up, and run for a toilet, well, ceramic and vomit.. I was going no where quick, and he just kept it up..By the way, the only thing I did by picking him up was to extend his range..We finally slip over to a toilet, where I let him stand, and I block the door. People are begging to come into the bathroom, and I keep telling them, no, no you dont. Finally some one gets a waitress to come to the bathroom. I tell her, could you get a mop, a buckett, and even a hose? Christian appears to be wrapping it up at this time..Well here comes this poor 16 maybe 17 year old kid walking up with a buckett. I reach for it and say thank you. He says " no sir, this is my job" I said, come on, just give me the buckett, he say no sir, its my job..Christian walks up behind me, I pick him up, I open the door the rest of the way, I walk out, let the poor ******* in, and I hear, ohh ****.. I never finished my dinner, and left a hell of a tip..

 

Sorry, I do want to hear more, so Bump!!

 

I remember we had to sell our coffee table because when our son was about 9 months old or so, he just started to crawl and would get stuck underneath it and bang his head on the glass. I would pull him out and he would get stuck in no time again. He would get so pissed off and all I could do is laugh.

 

Yet another puke story about my daughter lol......you asked for it! haha. Night before last, Arianna was sleeping in her crib, and woke up and started yelling for Mama, she wouldn't go back to sleep so my wife put her in bed with us (she's 17 months) She was almost asleep when all of a sudden she pukes right on the bed inbetween us. NICE. My wife jumps up and runs to the kitchen to grab paper towels & rags and I jump up butt naked, grab my daughter and go running towards the bathroom when she yukes again all over me.........well I just hopped in the shower with her, no water running, just wanted to "contain" the situation. My wife comes running back in and starts laughing at me, standing there holding her, naked with yuke all over me. I had to contribute to the "swear jar" a little bit that night

 

Bump for more stories.

 

These are awesome, the one about the little one in the back sayin you MF reminds me of my daughter, 4 at the time, we are cruising 25 in a 25mph zone, nothing going on, when out of the blue I notice my daughter is looking over her shoulder at a something and says "What the Hell!" I didn't know what to do, I thought it was hilarious, it was just a car following us down the road. The hell part was very emphasized and drawn out.

One about me, I can remember ever so slightly a little bit of it. When i was 2 or 3 I found a tub of axle grease in my dads garage, the part I remember is taking the lid off and seeing the black goop. Beyond that I don't remember but I do hear the stories of how the white boy became a black kid that year. I guess I had a nice coating from head to toe of axle grease, unfortuneately no pictures of it though.

 

Last night my 11 month old grabbed me by the eye lid, i am now walking around with a patch and perscription..

 

Ride em cowboy! x 3

 

As many of you know, my son is now 2 days old and I want to thank you for scarring the hell out of me. It looks like I have many adventures in my future.

 

Most of these stories are here to smile about.. I do!!! I smile even more so when some one else is telling them

 

I think they are hilarious, just nervous about my future that's all.