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Are you by any chance running Zone Alarm? If so, try shutting it down. I've seen the same sort of problem like you describe (on DSL) and turning off ZA cleared up the problem.
I agree that your OE is corrupted. But I don't think it's necessary to change to a different email program. 5 years using OE and the only problems I've ever had were self inflicted.
Find someone to check your system and remove any virus programs that might be there. Then you can reinstall OE and start fresh.
my xp had problems with oe too. sounded very simular. this may be a stupid question but i gotta ask, have you downloaded ALL the latest upgrades for oe running xp? no offense, just a question...
Well, I got it all cleared up yesterday. In the morning, before we left for breakfast, I turned it (OE) on, and went to the outbox. Well, I got distracted by something, and forgot all about it until I got home in the afternoon. I imagine what was happening was I wouldn't give it enough time to load and that was giving me the non responding. So I got home, saw the message was highlighted (finally) and deleted it. And for good measure, I rebooted, scanned, defragged, and rebooted again. So far so good.
BTW, the attachment was HUGE. 200 meg or something like that, so it's no wonder it took so long.