So this probably isn't anything anyone here is interested in, but I've got to get it out somewhere and no way am I talking about my non-work life with my coworkers, and it's easy enough to ignore a post, I suppose.

Anyway, one of my friends just proposed to his long-time girlfriend, which will make him the second of our little circle to get hitched. A third friend is probably going to do the same soon, and while I'm happy for all of them, I'm a little sad for all of us (myself and them as a group, I mean). We've all known each other since high school and before, so we've been hanging out for anywhere from 14 to 20 years--20 years!--and things have been more or less the same throughout most of that time. Not the same as in nobody ever accomplished anything; we went our separate ways to various colleges, all work in very different fields, have interests quite different from one another and are all fairly successful, but that's all been... I don't know, just kind of a grown up version of what we did as kids. Now, though, I can really see the last couple of decades finally drawing to a close and adulthood at last taking root.

Having them all be married won't be so different, and I very much like all of their wives/fiancés anyway, but kids won't be more than a couple of years off and I just can't see how we'll still be the same happy little clique when the babies start showing up. Especially since I'm never going to have one (or get married, for that matter). And, I know, "life goes on" and things have to change eventually and all of that, but it's just been such a comfortable 29 years that I can't help being little sad that the final act is beginning. I know I should just be cheering them on and be thankful for having had such a solid foundation of friendship for so long (because, really, how many individuals have been close to the same people for 20 years?), but it still makes me wistful.

 

Dont be sad soksniffer, we too have a large group of friends that have been around for more than 20 years and thankfully we all still hang out, plan trips and yes kids and spouses are in the mix now and nothing has changed really. Gatherings are a little harder to plan but we manage to get it done! There is hope

 

Kundalini said it well.

Spouses & children don't take away from your friendship, they simply add a new twist to it. Friend are still going to be there.
You may not be able to do all the thing that you did with them when they were single as often but that just makes you appreciate & look forward to the times that you do get them out.

 

By the one hits 40...if you have more than ONE good close friend in your life, you.ve done alright.

In high school I was considered the first out of all 13 of us (good friends) to get married.
Well, Everyone was married by the time we go to 30 but me,I found Michelle at 42 & we've been together 11 years now.

I have lost 3 close friend's this last 2 years because THEY forced it.

All I can say is: "Your Day Will Come "

 

i had the same kind of thing happen. i had a group of friends i have known for about 20 years, we used to go camping and boating together alot. me and 2 of my friends even bought a timeshare on a lake powell houseboat that we used to go on ever year. even after my self and others got married things did not chage much. Then came kids, the kiss of death. plane and simple, people that do not have kids, dont want to vacation with people that do. i didn't what to have anything to do with kids until i had my own(and sometimes i still dont..lol) be warned the kids will change everthing.

 

You and your buddies will always be friends. There's too much history to just drop these guys. Just because they will soon have kids doesn't mean that they won't be your friend anymore. Their priorities will change, this is true. The nights out with the boys won't be as frequent, but they will still occur. You just have to realize that their life is changing and that to remain a part of it you're going to have to be understanding of that. Besides, look at it this way, you get to be the cool uncle that gives the kids obnoxious gifts and then leaves!

 

That can be taken a couple of different ways. What do you mean?

 

Watch the movie "Saving Silverman" after that... youll know exactly what to do

 

Marriage is like a disease, I cringe when one of my boys gets engaged b/c it makes it that much harder for me to dodge the damn question "well your friends are getting married and engaged..."

 

Nights out with the boys will now oftentimes include wives. Additionally, the nights out may be structured a little differently: more of the backyard barbeque/ pool party/ poker night kinds of things. You know, the guys go out to the garage and smoke and drink beer and the women sit in the house and gossip. (Guys don't gossip, they shoot the $hiznit- lol) Point is, you'll adjust to their new lives- and you'll probably enjoy yourself.

STU

 

I don't know. I'm 38 and single. All my friends got married and I hardly ever hear from them. It seemed I was odd man out if we went out and did something since I was alone. After kids came into the picture it was if life ended for them.I hope they are all happy but now I can see why some of them never wanted kids.

 

I used to think that too. Then I had kids. There's nothing like it and they are my whole world and I like it that way. Things change. Believe me, when you see something you helped create being born, your life starts over.

For example, my Son is six, and he's playing T-ball. Well, he hit a home run the other day and I thought my heart was going to pop out of my chest from pride. Yeah, he's only six but that feeling was unreal.

And you know what, my kids will always be my kids, but friends may not always be friends.

 

My thoughts exactly!! My son is "7 1/2" (according to him ) He is in little league baseball.. I will never forget the first time he road his bike without training wheels!! Now he is drivng the quad by himself (with me sitting behind him) Theres no greater feeling...

Your life will change, no doubt about it.. The question is, are you willing to change with it? Learn how to be involved in your friends life (them willing), help out with the kids, baby sit so mom and dad can have a night out alone. Be that cool uncle who can spoil the kids them go home and leave them to mom and dad